


One Last Thing: A Victuuri Fic! (Volume 1)

by Kanedgy_Ken



Series: One Last Thing [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fanfic, Fanfiction, LGBT, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Ship, VictUuri, Yaoi, Yaoifanfic, Yurionice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kanedgy_Ken/pseuds/Kanedgy_Ken
Summary: Yuuri and Viktor have just finished at the GPF!One day, looking at the ring on his finger, Viktor decides to tell Yuuri he wants the ring to symbolize more then just a "good luck charm"Yuri happily agrees with Viktor and they get married, now it's four years later, and Yuuri has a special surprise for Viktor. What could it be? Is Yuuri going to get a good reaction or a bad one?My Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Kanedgy-Ken (For all other great [or cringe worthy] works!)





	1. We knew it was love

Viktor's P.O.V.

As many of our fans know, me and Yuuri have gotten married just days ago! The day I proposed I asked him what he felt for me. Considering he has like 30 posters of me on his wall (and yes, I've seen them, but don't let him know!) I half expected him to just say it outright, but he didn't. He had to make it Yuuri-fied and complicated! Of course!

"O-oh! Viktor! I. . . I think of you as. . .Well. . ." He blushed as he said it, so cute~!  
"You think of me as? Your lover? I mean, I am. . ." Please say yes to the proposal! I love you Yuuri! Please! Please! Yuuri!

"I like you as my coach! And as a skater! and my lover and-- and-- "  
I look at him in surprise "A-And?"  
"Viktor, I love you!" He yells as he runs into my arms, making us both blush harshly and smile brightly. I could see tears forming at the corners of his eyes because of the happiness and relief he got from finally actually admitting that. Not like I hadn't known though, silly boy.

"Yuuri, these rings. . .Can't they mean something between us? Please Yuuri~" I beg him. Of course he would say yes, and so that's how my awkward and complicated proposal went.

Thinking about it now makes me smile. Just months ago when I technically asked Yuuri to marry me he was acting so confused, as if he didn't think I'd actually ever ask, just like he thought when I asked him about being his actual boyfriend. Not some weirdo coach who kissed him on live television.

I guess since we moved into a new apartment in St. Petersburg Yuuri is a bit upset since we aren't as close to his family as we originally planned, but after being bombarded by crazed fans who knew about our marriage we decided it was for the better to just go to Russia. He made the decision, not me. I was shocked when I came home from practicing and (since he'd already been home an hour or so before) found all of our stuff in boxes, at first I felt like I wanted to cry, but seeing this Yuuri quickly hugged me and said that there was nothing to worry about, and he wasn't leaving any time soon. I nodded softly, but being as I was still very confused I had to ask.

"What's with all the boxes then, Yuuri? If you aren't leaving, what is this?"

"I've had enough of those creepy fans that peek in the windows and look for us all the time, since your last win, there's been at least five people outside, and that was only three weeks ago. . ."

I realize Yuuri is being paranoid more then usual, but I guess this is because he's a newly married man and he's probably worried about having children later in our marriage, then letting people know and having them peer into the windows and try to open our doors.  
At least, that's why I'm worried. But there isn't any more then that little bit of stress from that thought. I've also not been the one at home when Yuuri sees these people, but I--  
Wait just one second.

"Yuuri, what is that?"   
"What is what?" I now notice he's slightly shaking, has he been the entire time?  
"W-wait, you're shaking? What happened while I was away? Did something happen?"  
"N-no. . .I'm. . .I'm just tired." he manages to tell me, whilst stuttering.

"No, something happened. Tell me, Yuuri. That scrape and the blood wasn't there when I left this morning. It wasn't there when we got to practice either. I know you fell and all, but you couldn't have gotten cut like that from the fall you made." I peer down at the ground to make sure he hadn't broken any sort of glass and that's what the bleeding was, but there was no indication of broken glass, plastic, metal or any sort of whatever that could have harmed my precious husband. "Yuuri." I say with a worried, warning kind of tone. 

"Okay, yes. Fine, something did happen, but I'm fine, I promise. It's nothing to get worked up about, I promise you Viktor."

Just then, my phone went off and it seemed to be Yurio calling me. Weird, he only calls when he needs something or there's something going on. I decided to answer the call, considering the fact that it's probably important. When I go to say my usual 'hello' I hear Yurio breathing heavily and saying something in broken English.

"Yurio?" I blush and say his name so he can hear me. It's not like he can't but, I wanted to make sure. "Is everything alright with you? Is it an emergency?"

 

"I n-need to ask you something."  
"Ask away, Yurio." I say, thinking there's still something wrong  
"I need to ask you. . . How did you get Yuuri to fall in love with you? I can't seem to figure it out. . .I need advice for. . .Reasons."   
I snicker and question his. . . 'Question.'   
"HEY YOU SHUT IT, OLD MAN! You wouldn't understand anyway with all those girls who get up your ass and just instantly fall in love with it! You'd never have to ask! You'd just get halfway through the sentence and--" he goes on. . . and on. . .and on. . .

He sort of has a valid point, but I also know that Yuuri wasn't all that interested at first. Sure he idolized me, but just because he did, didn't mean he wanted to ever marry me. It just so happened to play out like that.

"Alright, well why don't you just ask the nice woman on a date and take her somewhere nice, I don't know. I've never tried to make a woman happy, you know. Yuuri is my only love."

"Who says it's a woman I'm trying to please? You don't actually think I'd come to you for love advice for a woman do you? Like hell, Viktor! Just shut up already, I'm bored of our conversation. This isn't over yet." and just like that, the line goes dead.


	2. Happy Anniversary My Love!

Yuuri's P.O.V. [four years later]

Tonight at midnight it'll officially be mine and Viktor's fourth anniversary. I can't believe it. We have to come up with something good to do, but I for one need to find a gift good enough to give him. Yurio and Otabek suggested that I just get him a card, or skate my Eros routine again.  
As good as that sounds, it just. . .isn't good enough to me. I can't seem to think of anything greater than what I got him last year, and that's only because Makkachin needed a friend so me and Viktor could get busy. So I got him a puppy and he named it Scruffy.   
I try to get ideas by asking what he wants, but he'll only give me a vague answer or just replace my questions with his own. For example, our conversation yesterday: 

"Viktor, what's one thing you really wish you could have?"

"Anything? Like, anything at all?"

"Well, yes. . . With a reasonable way of obtaining it of course."

"Oh, you mean something easy?"

"Yes, so then what would you like?"

"You said anything, right?"

"Viktor, please. . ."

And that is all I ever get out of him. Why must he be so difficult? I mean, I married a perfect, beautiful, thoughtful, sweet champion ice skater, and even bought a beautiful house with him (which is hard to do) but sometimes it's hard to tell just how smart he is. . .I'll try again soon.

I must've fell asleep at 9:00, because when I woke up, it was 1:33 in the morning. I could see the clock just fine, but I knew Viktor had removed my glasses because he always does when I pass out with them on.  
I look over to where he should be sleeping, and he isn't, but it sounds like someone is in the guest bedroom. I get nervous and look around the room, I put on my glasses, but don't bother putting on actual pants and just leave on my boxers and a t-shirt. I take the baseball bat that Viktor insisted we have in our room just in case someone ever broke in and we were too vulnerable to fight back. I sneak down the hall, shaking softly, I grab the door handle, but I stop moving and stay quiet for just a moment more. I then, apparently unexpectedly, yank the door open and I see Viktor jump a little bit, he looks at me like he's a deer in headlights.

"Viktor! It's 1:30 in the morning! What are you doing up?! You scared me! And why are you in the guest bedroom?" He looks guilty at first, like he feels bad he woke me up and made me worry, not to mention I had the bat he told me to use if there was ever an intruder, so he must've figured he made lots of noise. He then smiled softly to himself and told me not to worry too much, and that he was too distracted thinking about a wonderful gift to get me for our special day. I sighed and sat on the bed with him and told him I had the same issue, but I fell asleep stressing myself so much. He just shook his head and giggled softly.

"What's so funny?" I ask him seriously. Another giggle, this time a little harder.   
"What? Tell me!" I whine. I tend to do that. When he doesn't say what I want him to, I whine. Not on purpose all the time, but. . . Sometimes it seems like it.   
"It's just you, I'm thinking about you. You've been asking me for weeks what I want for our anniversary and I just. . . Give you a vague and unclear answer, and yet you're still trying so hard to find something I'd like. . .It's sweet. You make me so happy, Yuuri. I haven't said anything because I don't want anything, if that's okay with you?"  
"That's so sweet. . ." I say quietly as I feel myself tear up the slightest bit. "But Viktor," I continue "You deserve something amazing. And I plan on finding it for you before midnight tomorrow night."   
"Don't you technically mean tonight?" He says with his goofy, happy smile.   
"Right." this just got a whole lot harder. . .

I didn't want to go back to bed at this point, but I was so tired at this point that I just gave up and walked to Viktor and snuggled up to him, he rubbed my back soothingly, I yawn and he looks at me like he's concerned.  
"Sleepy?" he asks in a sort of quiet and tired tone himself.  
"Yeah, a little. . .But I'd rather not go back to bed without you. . ."  
"Oh, Yuuri. . . You don't have to! I'll come with, I can read for a little while or something, I can always go on Instagram for a few hours and see what everyone else is up to. Pichit is surely on there! He always is!" he giggles softly  
"Viktor, I'm sure everyone is asleep at half past one in the morning."  
"You're right." He sighs "Maybe we can just--"  
"Viktor! Save it for tomorrow!"

And with that, he picked me up and carried me to bed. When he set me down and pulled the covers over the two of us, I snuggled up to him and smiled. Then, looking into his eyes, and speaking from my heart I told him just as he drifted off to sleep "I love you so much, Viktor Nikiforov." 

And he said it back

"I love you, Katsuki Yuuri. . ."

__________________________________

 

In the morning, I woke to the sound of pots and pans clanging together. Was Viktor finally doing the dishes? Doubtful. He's probably attempting to make breakfast. Eggs? No, that isn't what I smell. I smell. . .

"Yuuri, come get breakfast! I made it just for you!"

Yup. Katsudon. He knows me so well by now, I probably don't even have to tell him how I feel or what I think at this point. Then there's me. I can't even try to read him. He makes it hard because when he's happy he usually looks confused or upset about something, and when I ask he laughs at me and asks cutely 'why?' then gives me a hug. The only time I know how Viktor feels is when I can clearly see then pain and sadness, or glee and happiness in his beautiful Caribbean ocean blue eyes.

As I sleepily walk downstairs I see he has made Katsudon, just like I thought. He's the best. I smile and sigh softly. "You still amaze me every year. . ."

All he does is smile and nod, I see he has something in his hand, and I wonder if he went out last night when I went back to bed. He smiles at me from my side, I smile back and it looks like he's going to burst with joy until he finally speaks up.  
"I'm going to go out for a little bit, nothing is wrong don't worry. I'm just a little bit. . . busy with Yakov. I should be back in an hour or so, you should take a shower and get ready to go out, because we are going to go somewhere today. Somewhere special."   
Uh-oh  
When Viktor says 'somewhere special' I can only imagine him taking me out to some remote island or weird place where no one can understand us or find us. It's a scary thought I keep in the back of my head for whatever reason.

Well I listened to Viktor and showered and changed and all that, I messed with my hair a little trying to do something new with it, but I leave it the same as always anyway. I put on my glasses and think about telling Viktor about this important thing I had to tell him. I never did before the wedding and that was probably a big mistake, because what if I tell him now and he decides that this is a good enough reason to leave me? I don't realize I'm sitting on the bed shaking softly until Viktor bursts into the room smiling wide. 

"Yuuri I'm home and I have great news! I-- Yuuri?"  
I must be really pale because he stopped mid sentence and grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. I opened my eyes wide and my glasses got all messed up. I fix myself and sigh looking at Viktor.   
"Hey, what's going on?" I say all confused like  
"You're thinking too much, c'mon with me, and get in the car. We're going somewhere special!"  
"What? I-- Well-- O-okay?" I get up and turn to face him but he starts pushing me towards the door in a 'Come on Yuuri, we have to go or we'll be late' type of way.

I think my greatest nightmare is now becoming my most feared reality.


	3. Did I Hear You Right?

Viktor's P.O.V.

I smile to myself as a push Yuuri to the car, when he gets in he has no idea I've packed up our stuff for an entire week's vacation. I start driving to the airport and I smile as I think more and more about it. I look over at Yuuri and he seems to be paler than snow! Oh no, maybe my beautiful, soft, husband is afraid of flying!   
Wait. . .  
He can't be, we've flown before!   
Oh, maybe it's because he knew where we were going before! Now he has no clue!   
But. . . He doesn't even know were going to the airport! So what's bugging him?

"Yuuri, you're very quiet. . .And pale. No music to lighten the mood?"  
He seems unfocused. On edge. Tired. Maybe we should give it some time, the flight doesn't leave for another hour and a half anyway.   
"Yuuri?" I look over at him again. This time he stares at me like I'm speaking another language, which is ironic, because he understands Russian, Japanese, and English. "Yuuri, what is going on inside that sweet little head of yours?"  
"Where are we going?"  
"To relax, you're tense. I'm gonna take you to the mall over here for some new clothes. Then we. . ."   
"We. . .?" he repeats  
"We. . . Well, have a flight to catch by about 10:30."  
"A. . .f-f-flight?"  
"Yes, you heard right!" I smile nervously, he doesn't look pleased at all anymore.  
Uh-oh...

As we pull into the parking lot of the mall I was talking about, Yuuri holds his head, as if he has suddenly gotten dizzy. I feel bad, but I feel worse because as soon as I park the car, he gets out and throws up, then sits on the curb. Does he really not want to spend a week with me on vacation?

"Yuuri. . .?"  
"Not now, Viktor. . ."  
"But. . .Do you not want to spend a week away with me? Your loving husband?"  
"No. . .I-I mean-- Of course I do! But, not knowing where we're going is what scares me."  
"Well, I can tell you where it is if that would make you more comfortable?" I pout, thinking that if I say it out loud, it'll ruin my surprise. Maybe not?

"Yuuri, I planned for us to go to Hasetsu for a full week, this way we can celebrate with your family, and maybe some friends of yours. . ."  
He blushes and looks at me, eyes wide, mouth open just a little as if he was going to speak. No sounds come out, his eyes suddenly water and he smiles, taking my hand in his.   
"Viktor, you didn't have to. . .I could have waited and got my own money for us to go."  
"But it's our anniversary, and you deserve everything you want." I say now cheerful that he's finally pleased.

~

As we finish in the mall, we go back to the car, it's gotten a bit brighter since we went in, and now we have to get to the airport. The drive there was very interesting in my opinion. It started out nice, but. . . Yuuri said something that really got my attention. It was pretty quiet, he was holding my hand, smiling, then suddenly I saw his face turn from happy to 'all of my anxieties have come to beat me up at once' so of course, I have to be the loving husband and ask my usual question "What's wrong, my love?"  
"Um. . .Maybe it should wait. . .for a while."  
"But, it's bugging you now? And do you really want this to be on your shoulders while we're on vacation? It's supposed to be a happy vacation for our anniversary! And we have plenty of time to talk on our 12 hour flight! Right?"  
He sighs as if he's frustrated and doesn't wanna talk. It feels like he just shoved a sword in my chest, but yet he still looks at me like he's going to speak, he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out as if he doesn't know what to say. Then he says it:

"Viktor, I never told you before the wedding, but I think now would be a better time then never. I am, out of at least four or five other men in the world, able to have children. I have the reproductive organs of a female, and a male, and both work exceptionally well."  
I stay quiet trying to process this all. It's taking a very long time, and I haven't said a word, suddenly we're four blocks away from the airport and I hear something for the first time in about 45 minutes. All I could hear before were my thoughts and his words buzzing in my head, but now I suddenly realize I can hear other things, just like when I was a baby and I realized I could hear my Mother, my eyes go wide and I look at Yuuri, who is sniffling and crying into his hands. I can't help but instinctively grab his hand and hold it tight, pouting.   
"Yuuri, don't. . . Please don't cry, I-I don't understand, that's all, it needs to process! Please don't be sad! I just want to make you happy!" I don't notice but I start to sniffle and tear up myself, and it must be scaring Yuuri because he whimpers and squeezes my hand, hugs my arm and whispers 'it's alright, I love you'   
And without having to think, I say it back. "I love you, too."

__________________________________

While on our flight, I still couldn't quite wrap my brain around what Yuuri had said, but suddenly, about halfway through it hits me harder then a freight train.

"Oh! I get it now! Yuuri!" I shake him, realizing I'm pretty loud. He fell asleep about two hours ago because I'd woken him up so early, but I just couldn't help but wake him up with my joy!

"Mm..? Viktor? Are we almost landing?"  
"No! But I finally get it! I finally understand what you meant! And I'm so, so glad! I've always wanted my own children! Now we can have them! Oh! I'm so happy!"  
He seems worried, and obviously I'm being too loud because he's giving me a look like everyone on board just heard me. Oops?   
"Viktor! Shhh! That's not important right now! Just--"  
"Hey, shut up already! God, you're both so annoying. I swear if I knew you'd be this obnoxious I would have stayed home, but nooo Mr. Perfection made me come!"  
"Yurio! I thought you and Otabek missed the flight! Oh, am I relieved to see you!" I giggle.   
"Yuuri looks confused did you not tell him about--" I cut him off quickly so he doesn't spoil my surprise.  
"No! I didn't tell him. . . About. . . Um. . You coming. Yes. I forgot to mention dear, Yuri and Otabek are coming with for the full family to be there!" I laugh nervously and then I turn serious and glare at Yuri Plisetsky, or the not-my-husband Yuri.  
"Okay, I guess so, it'll be nice to be spending time with you and Viktor."  
"Okay, you know I'm not your son, right? So stop acting like it."  
"That's enough, Yuri." Otabek chimes in.  
He actually listened to him.   
Soon enough, we all get settled back in, and Yuuri is now awake but looking pretty bored. I feel a little bad for waking him cause he's had such a long day so far. I'm sure he's looking forward to seeing his family. Also, we got to bring the dogs! So I'm sure they'll be glad to see their Ojīchan and Obāchan! (That means Grandma and Grandpa in Japanese!) [Please correct if wrong!]

As soon as we land, Yuuri and I get our things, our dogs, and our silly little Yurio and Otabek! Then we get into a taxi and go to the Katsuki home. A place I so dearly treasure! And I couldn't be happier, and obviously Yuuri couldn't be either! I hum a song that makes me think of Yuuri, and he turns to me and giggles, taking my hand and rushing inside. The dogs and the other two men follow behind us, seeming to be just as excited as us.

Our happy, weird, and silly little family.


	4. Cheers To All!

Yuuri's P.O.V.

As soon as I open the door to my parents house, I'm nearly tripped by Makkachin and Scruffy, then almost strangled by my Mother. My father, and Mari are watching the T.V. and look up briefly, smile and wave, then go back to what they were watching. There are no competitions just yet, because it's too late in the year. The next season starts in two months and Viktor has already started choreographing my next program.

I look around and smile, I talk to my Mother briefly before going to my room and letting Makkachin and Scruffy get comfortable on the bed. Viktor of course followed me with the bags, Yuri and Otabek are staying in the room Viktor stayed in when he came here to tell me he was going to be my coach. I look at him and smile softly, taking his hand and pulling him close, kissing him deeply.   
"Remember when we first met, and we spent the night in this very room at least a few times a month?" I say, trying to replay the memories in his head.  
"Of course, but you never wanted me in your room, it was kind of funny actually. I knew you must've had something in here you didn't want me to see."  
Of course I did, but I wasn't gonna tell him that. "So, Viktor, do you want to go to the Ice Castle?"  
"Hmm. . .Maybe tomorrow, it's already pretty late, don't you think? And I'm feeling a little jet-lagged, why don't we just take the night off and go out to eat?"  
I sigh, but I smile anyway. "Sounds perfect, my love. . ."

~

About an hour later, I realize my husband is getting dressed in nice clothes, he must have something planned because normally he wouldn't dress this nice just for a night out, even at a fancy restaurant. This is as fancy as our wedding, and that is screaming 'I lied to you and I'm taking you to do something other then just a nice night out.'  
We've already discovered this city, obviously because we've lived here, in Hasetsu, for about two years before I couldn't handle what happened.   
The last thing I let happen at our old apartment was nearly let one of those so-called 'fans' in, the ones who are absolutely insane. I got the doors locked before they could bash it open. The unlucky part, or the reason I have a scar on my left shoulder is because the person who was outside must have seen me in the window and took this as an opportunity to break it open with a rather large rock, then they grabbed a bit of glass and cut me with it, I don't understand what they were thinking. . .But, Viktor still doesn't know that, because if he did he would end our careers in public and keep our lives private and quiet so no one would bother us anymore. I don't really want that because I love seeing our fans. The only place I don't really care to see them is my home, with my husband. I do realize we live close to some fans in St. Petersburg now, but they aren't crazy, and they don't try to climb the gate and invade our privacy. Occasionally, I do see them and they just say hello, like any regular neighbor. I say hello back to be polite, and even sometimes strike up a conversation with them, ask about the weather, or how they've been. I don't mind that. But coming inside my house, or even trying to look around the perimeter is just too much to worry about.

To be honest I don't understand why Viktor isn't worried about anything happening, especially because he's more popular then me.  
He says I'm just jealous and want all his attention.  
I say it's because he's better at skating then me, and he is more attractive and popular then I, but he claims he isn't worried.

And that worries me even more.

~

Now Viktor is in the driver's seat of our rental car, he said something about not being late to something, I wasn't sure what it was but I assumed it was just because he made reservations at some restaurant but as soon as we pulled up I gasped, and he looked at me surprised like I shouldn't have seen what was happening.

"Is that Yuri and Otabek?" I ask. I start to notice a bunch of my friends, all dressed up and drinking. Is this really happening? Did Viktor plan all this?  
"Viktor, what's going on? Why are Chris and Pichit and everyone here?" Then the realization hits me.   
It's our anniversary, and this is his gift to me. A party with all our friends.  
I knew he was planning something, but I didn't know what and it actually started to get to me until now. . .Until I figured it out.   
I find it hard to speak at first, but then he goes on ahead and takes the words out of my mouth anyway.

"I love you so much, Yuuri." He begins.   
"I wanted to do something special for you this year, and not just something boring, so I wanted to celebrate this year in Hasetsu with your family, and some good friends. . ."

"Our family. . ." I correct. He gives me a weird look at first, then I continue and explain further.  
"You married me, they love you. They're your family too, Viktor. . ." I give a small smile to him and sigh. He smiles too, and then leans over and kisses my head, giving me a look like he wants to say how much he loves me, but he doesn't know how to say it. We get out of the car and when I'm not looking, he hugs me tight and giggles a little, taking my hand in his and walking me inside. I smile and look around at my friends, all drinking and having fun, they spot Viktor and I and all raise their glasses to us and say stuff like 'Congrats!' and 'Happy Anniversary, you two lovebirds!' and then of course Yurio  
"Great job on not killing each other for four years, you lovesick animals."  
Thanks, Yuri. . .

Soon after that, everyone is drinking.  
Lots. And really, I mean lots.

This won't end well I'm sure. . .


	5. A wolf can bite, but a tiger will fight

Viktor's P.O.V. [Warning, sexual content and strong language ahead, you have been warned!]

I noticed Yuuri drinking a lot. I didn't try to drink too much, but I guess at some point I must've either said forget trying to stay relatively sober, or Chris must've gotten to me. 

I'll say it was Chris, just because I know him and we are drinking buddies. 

By the time the night was over for everyone else, me and Yuuri were left alone at the restaurant. Yuuri told me in his goofy drunk voice that he called Mari to come get us. So I waited around with him just outside and I finally decided to try to talk to him, but I don't remember what we said. All I remember was Yuuri responding to me with a little giggle and a drunken 'Hey, you're soooo cute, Viktor. . .Don't tell anyone, but I love you!' I wasn't nearly as drunk as him, but when I thought about laughing, it didn't happen. I gave him a shocked look and said a small 'R-really?' as if I'd totally forgot we were married and in fact had just been celebrating our four-year anniversary with our friends just an hour ago. 

Mari came to get us soon enough, and when we got in the back of the car, Hiroko got out and got our rental car so we didn't leave it overnight. Soon enough, since Mari was apparently too quiet, Yuuri forgot she was ever even there and started kissing and biting my ear lobe, I blushed and gasped softly.  
"Y-Yuuri! I'm your coach! You can't jus' do that!" Again, as if I'd forgotten.  
"But, Viktor. . .I love you! We're married! I love you! I want youuu!"  
He was pretty loud and Mari turned around, eyes wide.   
"You better not, Yuuri! At least wait til we get home, you drunk dork!"  
"Oh, Mari! Hiii! When did you get here? An' how'd we get in your car?"  
She sighed and face-palmed looking so tired. I didn't know how late it must have been, but it had already been well past 10:00. 

Well, I hope everyone else in the house got sleep because by the time we got home, Yuuri was already stripping down. I dunno how long it took before I was naked but when I started to sober up I was in my underwear with Yuuri under me, also in his underwear. I thought this was a pleasant surprise considering I wanted to wait a bit longer til we weren't exactly in his house, with his family, but oh well now. We're both turned on already. No reason stopping so soon, I guess.

I can tell Yuuri is sobering up now too, I kiss him messily and tired-like. He kisses me back the same way. I smile to myself and kiss down to his jawline, then his sensitive neck, where he tries to push me away while giggling a little.  
"Viktor, please. . .Let's do this tonight, we barely ever do after all. . ."  
He has a point, and I wasn't planning on stopping so soon, as I said before.   
"Yes, Yuuri. . .We can. . .We will."  
"Thank you Viktor. . ." he smiles and I smirk again, rubbing his hips.  
"God, you're so soft Yuuri. . ." I comment, as he turns a shade of red I've only seen once before.  
I pull him closer and smile, giggling at him and playing with him a little bit, then I finally get to the point:  
I get him actually naked, and then myself too.   
I leave a small bite mark down by his hips, he moans while I make it and I need more of him so I move around and make little love bites and leave a few hickies.

I kiss his chest and he tugs my hair when I lick at his nipple, I haven't yet got into him, but he wants it bad, and I can tell by the noises he's making he's enjoying the anticipation just as much as me. Soon enough, I whisper into his ear and tell him that I'm gonna do it. 

"Just be prepared, my little piglet~" I say as he turns even brighter red.  
"I love you, Viktor. . .P-please. . .Just don't make it hurt. . ."  
I love seeing him like this, helpless to my touch, moaning at every gentle stroke of his tender, smooth skin, gasps escaping his mouth when I touch his cock.   
After our rather short conversation, I kiss him and rub his hips and chest a little, then I put myself inside him slowly, he moans from the stretch, but he gets used to it.   
I thrust hard and slowly pick up speed, he moans more and I can see him wince once or twice when I bite down on his shoulder because it just feels so good.  
I manage to get a hold of myself and keep going, letting my mouth off his shoulder and kissing it, because I know it's sensitive like the rest of him in this state.   
Apparently I'm really wrong about that, because he looks me in the eyes and tells me something I'd never think I'd hear from Yuuri Katsuki, the man who's eros was a pork cutlet bowl.  
"Viktor, tie me up, pin me down and please, fuck me Viktor~"  
"Y-Yuuri?" I stutter.  
"Please, Viktor. . .I don't wanna have to beg you~" He moans softly.   
I do as he says because when it comes to sex, I may be the dominant one, but his orders are mine to follow and I become his bitch. And I know that doesn't sound like it would be something coming from my mouth, but hey, as long as things come out of my small, squeaky, shy husband who just asked me to do naughty things to him, might as well throw it out there.  
I get up quickly and grab the first thing I can in order to tie him up like he wants, because I will do anything to make my husband happy. I end up pulling my belt from my jeans from earlier and go back to him and tie his hands together and then pull them above his head and I let myself go on him, kissing and rubbing him everywhere. I don't bother to use the lube I brought with from home because I've already gone in once and he's nice and wet there already. I go down and kiss his hole and play with his hard cock, making myself hard as well. He knows I'm getting weaker and don't wanna take things slow and I assume neither does he, because now he whimpers and looks down at me, pre-come dripping at his tip.

"Viktor, please, go back inside, I n-need it, bad~" He moans from my kisses and touching.   
"Yuuri, do you want me to use th-"  
"N-no! Just, please~! Viktor! I need you!"  
Can't say no.  
I really just need to take control of him in the bedroom but it's so hard.  
And so is he.

Damn, is he sexy. I can't keep my eyes off his nude form, he's so perfect. Perhaps more perfected than me? His apple bottom, perfect calves, sexy abs, and not a single strand of unnecessary body hair, so beautiful.  
He's smooth and curvy, like a woman. And not to mention he doesn't have his glasses on, so it's all the more better, I could come to that as easily as Chris comes on the ice.   
I stare for just a moment longer and then I get back to it, rubbing his hips telling him it's probably gonna hurt, and not to make lots of noise, knowing his family's rooms are all right around ours. I remind him a few times not to be too loud and of course he nearly screams when I get it all the way in at his prostate (his weakest spot, I'd giggle if it wasn't the same for all men, it's like their g-spots). I quickly put my fingers in his mouth to hush him, and I tell him to bite as hard as he needs, and I don't mind if he draws blood because that's how the fun gets more interesting. I remember a certain song that makes me think of this moment, but the actual lyrics won't come to me because I'm too far gone with the ecstasy of Yuuri's hormones and his smell and everything about our sex that just makes it so perfect. I go back in for a kiss while I gently move my hips in a steady pace

I taste blood from him biting my lip now, I think it was a bad plan to let him kiss me while I'm putting him through this bittersweet feeling of pain, but I just couldn't let him make himself bleed, I wouldn't be able to look at the scab on his lip if I'd let him make one. His lip is all swollen and wet from the kissing and the biting, and his breath is heavy and warm, I notice now that I've stopped kissing him he's moaning at my thrusts, and it just so happens to be the only loud thing in the house. His family doesn't sound like they're awake, but then again maybe they're sitting up hoping we get quiet soon. I keep going and I moan into Yuuri's neck, biting down and praying he doesn't moan very loud anymore, but that would just be ridiculous because Yuuri can't not be loud, especially in this situation. I keep going a little longer and I realize I've already came twice, and Yuuri did too probably. I can see his stomach is covered in come, so I assume he has, more then once. I smile and grip his butt a little, just then I hear my phone start buzzing like crazy, I must be getting a call. I groan and get up, leaving Yuuri briefly, but then laying in bed with him once again. I see that the person calling is actually just Yurio, but then I think about how he and Otabek came home before us, and why he would calling if he's just a room over?

"Yurio?" I answer confused.  
"I swear to God, if you and that little pig don't quiet down I will come in there and tape your damn mouths shut. Even me and Beka aren't that loud and obnoxious."  
Then it hits me.   
He can hear all of what just happened, including Yuuri screaming that he needed me. . .  
"O-of course. . .I didn't think we were that loud. . ."   
"You're currently the only loud thing in Hasetsu, I'm sure everyone in this village heard you both. You dirty little fish."  
"There's no need for insults, you stubborn walnut."  
"There's always a need for insults when it comes to you and that pig!" He hangs up after that and I giggle a little looking at Yuuri, who is completely embarrassed. He probably thinks his parents heard him, but it's not like they care too much, right?  
Right?

I sigh and kiss Yuuri's head, then lay down next to him and smile, then he kind of sits up, and looks down, seeing himself covered in. . .Well. . .Himself.  
"I should go clean up. . ." He states calmly. I smile and ask if I can join, because we probably smell like sex and sweat, and he agrees, but tells me no shower sex, which only upsets me a little because I know as soon as we get in there he will be all over me, and begging for me once more.   
He gets up and walks to the bathroom next to Ours, Yuri's and Otabek's room. Now we both know we have to be quiet, and even if we are getting in the shower at-- Whoa! It's 3:30 in the morning!? Well, we won't be making it to breakfast tomorrow morning now, will we? I can see the tired look on Yuuri's face and something about him makes me frown.   
"Yuuri, it is 3:30 in the morning, do you really want to take a shower now?"  
"Well, I guess not. . ." He says calmly.  
So he cleans off his chest and such and we go to bed again, sleeping in until noon this morning.


	6. Leave my Love Behind

Yuuri's P.O.V. [Two weeks later]

Well, we're back in St. Petersburg for the first time in a two weeks, even though we were supposed to spend only a week in Hasetsu. Everything seems fine, except the fact that I've been throwing up quite often in the morning, between 6:00 and 11:00. Viktor says its stress, lack of sleep, jet-lag, and probably from drinking so much these past few weeks.   
Well, now that the season is nearly starting again, and Viktor has finally finished with my program, we're getting back into the rink again so I can start practicing early and get better before the season actually starts. As soon as I'm ready and better rested and all that, then Viktor and I are going to the rink. He took Makkachin and Scruffy out on a walk for some fresh air, and he said he was gonna be back in a little while, and that I should go and rest a little if I can. It's still only 9:30, and we just drove home from the airport after flying all night, so I still feel nauseous, I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon, at least not without Viktor here to comfort me. 

I go unpack mine and Viktor's things and smile a little, staring at my ring. Just over four years ago I bought these for Viktor's birthday, and soon enough we got married. It's funny how things work out sometimes, and I couldn't imagine what would happen if me and Viktor ever got into a serious fight over something, or something as stupid as me having a woman's reproductive system ruining our entire relationship. I've suddenly thought of something stupid now and I find myself pacing with the anxiety of Viktor not being home. What if he's finally had enough of my idiocy and he made that excuse to leave me? What if something happened to him, like he was kidnapped or hit by a car? What if he was shot? What if he was just saying he was going out but he's having an affair and he just doesn't like our relationship anymore?   
My sudden worrying intensifies when I feel arms around me, but it subsides when I notice I know who these arms belong to.

"Viktor. . .I. . ."  
"You're worrying again, aren't you? About me?"  
"H-How did you know?" I can feel the sting of tears forcing their way to come out of my eyes, but I hold back as much as I can. Seeing his face helps in my attempt to calm myself down.  
He smirks at me and holds my hand, his hair falling in front of his eye as he puts his chin on my head. "Yuuri, I always know when you're worried about me, because this is what happens when you do. You pace, you cry. . .You shake like a little leaf in the wind."  
"I-I do not! I'm just. . . Cold."  
He laughs a little and kisses my neck softly.  
"I think I'd know if you were cold, because you feel warm. Unless you have a fever or something?" He suddenly looks at me worried as if he thinks that he figured out why I'm so sick and sleepy right now. I sigh and just turn around to look at him, then shake my head.   
"No, dear, I don't have a fever, I have a headache and I'm tired. I couldn't sleep cause I started overthinking things. . ."  
"Of course you did. Now please, will you sleep now that I'm here, and safe?"  
I shake my head, because I want to be with Viktor as much as possible right now.   
For some reason I just feel really depressed and really want him by my side. I need to snuggle every inch of him. As I think about him more, I cause myself to blush profusely and he seems to take note of this.  
"And why is that? Why won't the sleepy prince sleep? Is it because of stress?"  
"N-no. . " I respond quietly. He puts a hand on my cheek and brings his face real close to mine, as if he's going to kiss me.  
"Then why doesn't the queen tell the king what's going on in his sweet brain? Hm?"  
"I thought I was a sleepy prince?"  
"Yuuri. Don't avoid my questions, what's wrong? Why won't you sleep?"  
"I n-need you. . .I want you. . ."  
"Yuuri, we just got home, are you sure you want to do that right now? It's so early in the morning!"  
"N-not like that! I need you by my side, I want you with me. . .I can't sleep because I. . ." I hold back tears, choking on my words, the words I'm not even sure of. Like a random jumble of words are trying to flow through my mouth at the same. I forget what I'm even doing, then I start crying, and God only knows why I am this time. I'm just incredibly emotional and tired right now, if Viktor would just come to bed with me I'd sleep, then wake up and feel a lot better. 

He must understand somehow because he pulls me close and kisses my head, smiling softly.   
"You just wanna be close to me? Is that it? That's what you need from me? I know we haven't had as much alone time as I wanted to these past few weeks, but now that we're home we can do anything and everything we want again. . ." I smile a little and nod, he kisses my forehead and picks me up, going to the bed and laying me down, then sitting with me. I finally get myself together enough to ask him if he wants to watch a movie, and he smiles more and nods quickly.  
"Well what movie then?" I ask him, not knowing which to watch.  
He just shrugs and turns on Netflix, then snuggles up to me, searching for something to put on.

~ 

About two days later, I made the most terrifying discovery ever. I don't even know how to tell Viktor, but I have to some day, but today will not be that day. Or will it have to be?

So of course I still felt sick, even after getting plenty of rest and hoping it would go away, still, at 6:00 A.M. every morning I would get up by this sudden urge to vomit. I decided this was important so I got an appointment at mine and Viktor's doctor, just to make sure I wasn't dying or something.   
Well turns out I think I'd rather be dead then explain this to Viktor. I've already explained half of it, but I don't think Viktor is ready for what I've got for him. I drive home shakily, and when I walk in the door, Viktor is sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand, he looks like he was crying and my eyes open wide in shock.  
"Viktor! Oh my God! Were you crying?"  
"Yuuri! Why didn't you answer your phone?! Or leave a note! I thought something happened!"  
I can't help but start to cry and now I know why, but I don't tell Viktor.  
"I just. . .Started having a panic attack so I took a drive, just for some air. . .I didn't want to worry you, or wake you up. . . So I. . .Well, left. And I turned off my phone, I'm so sorry. . .Babe, you have to believe me!"  
He gets up like he's mad, and he walks over to me as if he was about to yell and scream at me. Still crying though, he hugs me tightly and whispers into my ear.  
"If you ever need me, you wake me up, even if I am dying from sickness. Do you hear me? I don't care, I will always put you before me, my friends, and anyone else, Okay?"

"Anyone else, besides our kids, right?"  
He stares at me confused, but seems to push it off just for a moment, then he realizes what I said and he takes my hands into his.   
"Yuuri, what are you talking about?"  
"N-nothing. . .Don't worry about it, okay? I never said anything!"  
He holds my shoulders firmly, as if he wanted me to look up into his eyes.   
I don't. 

"Yuuri, we don't have kids. . .I mean, I know you have those parts and all, but we don't have. . . We weren't planning on them just yet, please tell me you aren't going to say something crazy before we've even planned it, Yuuri! We can't have kids before a season, and if you mean you are-- I-- I--. . ."  
I can't help it now, I put my hands over my face, crying quietly. And all I can do is look into his eyes and mumble the three words that probably ruined my whole relationship. 

"I'm so sorry. . ."

And with that, Viktor's eyes widen, he turns away and heads upstairs, I run after him sobbing loudly now. He seems to be putting some clothes in a bag, I quickly wrap my arms around him from behind and beg him not to do this. . .That I need him, I can't live without him. All he does is turn around, kiss my head and give me a look like he loves me, but he needs to leave, and he can't stay.   
"Goodbye, Yuuri."  
Those were the last two words said to me by him.  
And it couldn't have hurt worse.

I went to bed alone for the first time in over four years, I didn't even sleep. I stared at where my husband would be and sobbed. I fell asleep only after Makkachin had cuddled up to me and I ended up getting comfortable with his warmth there, instead of Viktor's.


	7. Two Weeks Is Too Much for Me

Yuuri's P.O.V [warning, strong content ahead! This chapter has to do with a serious topics, including thoughts and actions of suicide! Please be warned! By the way, feel free to comment on my story! Just preferably not negative stuff]

It has been almost twelve hours since my husband has presumably left me. I wake up at 5:30 this morning, mostly because I had a nightmare from the night before, and all the stress isn't a great feeling on top of my nausea. I guess I just have to get used to living alone like this. . .But then I think to myself a little and realize some things:   
1\. He wouldn't just disappear before a season,  
2\. He wouldn't leave his skates, dog, and clothing here,  
3\. He wouldn't leave me alone and pregnant, would he?  
Unless of course, because of that he wants to leave it all behind and disappear. I haven't checked my phone in the time period it took for him to leave and me to wake up. I assume my phone is dead again, but I don't even want to bother with the thing. Then the landline rings and I get a little hope in my chest, thinking it's Viktor, but it's actually Pichit.  
"Pichit? What are you doing up so early? It's almost six in the morning. . ."  
"I heard about Viktor. Apparently the press heard you guys have a fight over something huge, and then they saw Viktor leaving with a bag. It's all online and in magazines and stuff, Yuuri!"  
I feel even more sick now that he mentions it. I don't want to replay those thoughts in my mind again. 

The worst part is, I don't hate Viktor for what he did to me, I still love him dearly. I look down at my wedding ring and- Wait! The rings! Viktor still had his when he left! Maybe he wasn't planning on leaving for this long, maybe something happened and he's in some hospital somewhere, looking for me even.   
No. . .No, that isn't what's happening. He's left. Gone.  
"Hey, Pichit, do you by chance know where Viktor went or where he is? Or if he's trying to maybe contact me at all? Like, maybe he's spoken to you or someone we know?" I ask, hoping he can tell me anything at all.   
"Sorry, Yuuri. . .I don't know anything about him, for all I know he might not even be in Russia anymore. . .I'm sorry."  
I hold back some tears and sigh, nodding as if Pichit could see me.  
"No it's. . . It's fine. I'll be okay. I bet he'll be home soon so I shouldn't worry. . .Right?"  
"Yeah, try to stay positive! We know him, he wouldn't just leave! Would he?"  
"I guess it depends on what the problem seems to be. . ."  
"What do you mean Yuuri? What happened last night?" He asks me with a concerned tone.  
"Listen Pichit, I dunno if I'm ready to talk about it, I wasn't sure I was when I told Viktor. . ."  
"That's the thing I don't understand, what is it that could've made him want to leave you? It makes no sense and it sounds pretty stupid in my opinion. Did you mention something about getting a divorce or maybe something like--" He starts rambling like he does when he wants to figure something out. I sigh and interrupt him after a good 45 seconds.  
"Pichit, I gotta go. . .It's just a bad time, okay? I'll talk to you soon. I'm sure my parents have already heard the news."  
"Oh. . .Right, sorry again Yuuri. Maybe I could come over sometime soon, just for support? I don't mind!"  
"No, it's fine, trust me. . ." then I hang up the phone. 

I decide to go feed Makkachin and Scruffy, then make myself some leftover katsudon. I sit on the couch, feeling sick of course, so I'm not too sure if I'm actually gonna eat. I put a hand over my abdomen and sigh softly.  
"For being only a week and a half old, you already caused so much trouble. . .I wonder how it will be later in life. . ." That is if it makes it.  
With my current stress levels and all the anxiety and worrying I'm doing, I have the feeling it won't be long until it's no longer a problem.   
But that won't fix the fact that my husband left me alone and is most likely not coming back. 

When I've had enough of my brain overthinking every little detail of yesterday, I decide it would be a good time for a shower. When I walk upstairs the two dogs follow me, Makkachin lays down on our- or rather my- bed immediately, Scruffy however whines at me, then starts frantically searching in the blankets. Maybe he lost a bone in there?  
No, I know what it is. He's Viktor's dog. He wants him, but I can't produce him, so the small pup whines at me as if to ask where he is.   
"I know, bud. . .You want your daddy. . . But, he's gone. I don't know if he's gonna come back either. . ." I make myself cry once more about this same old topic, and I decide to just go shower.  
I don't think of anything besides Viktor, and how much I miss him, and how much it hurts hear his name.   
It all hurts more then any fall or scrape of the knee or punch or kick in the chest.

[5 days later]

I've nearly had enough of this, I know he isn't coming back, and I haven't bothered to look at the landline's messages or my now dead cellphone. Pichit has probably tried to call me a ton of times, but no one has come by to check on me to my knowledge.   
I might have heard a knock on the door once, but I didn't bother to get out of bed. I don't think I've really moved much since Tuesday. . .Was it Tuesday? I don't remember. . .If that's so, then it's about Sunday now. So that makes it six days without Viktor, and the way I'm coping with it is sitting in bed thinking of how miserable I am and avoiding all ways of taking care of my body, which needs it more then ever right now.   
I know Pichit wanted to come and see me, but. . .I haven't called him back, because I have no clue how to tell him. What if the same thing happens with him that happened with Viktor?

I just lay in bed, shutting out the whole world, and I've nearly reached my limit. I haven't been able to throw up lately because I haven't eaten in a few days, and even if I haven't I've gained a little weight. I haven't been feeling anything but sadness and depression, and I've felt a lot of pain in my abdomen and sides. I think I'm killing myself slowly, but I can't tell considering there is a tiny human trying to grow inside of me. I push off the feeling that I should get up and eat something, maybe even go to the doctor, but that's just so much work for my weak, withering body to handle right now. 

The days begin to pass by in a blur, when I can't even tell if it's day or night, or what time it is. I've just been sitting here, in silence, hoping someone reports that I'm dead or something, because really, I mean it when I say I haven't even left my bed in the last few days for anything.

[Another 5 days, just the end of week 2]

I have finally snapped. I can't take this crap anymore. My husband has either left me forever or died. And I can't take the stress of this anymore, it's a wonder that I don't believe I've lost the baby yet. I need to cleanse myself and take care of everything. I must go find Viktor. He must be waiting for me in heaven! I know it!  
I could no longer stop myself from believing that I must die to see Viktor. I lock myself in the bathroom and turn the water on, I let myself sit in the tub, still clothed, as the water begins to fill it. I cut my wrists open with the razor Viktor left in the bathroom, and I cry from the pain, and I start to feel woozy, so I lay into the water, letting it come up to my face. I spit out some water at first, then I can't so I just start choking on it, breathing in the water and nearly drowning myself.   
But from the water that is now up to my cheekbones, and dyed ruby red, I see someone. 

Pichit?

. . .No. . It's--

"Yuuri! What did you do!? Why would you do this to yourself?! I can't believe you would ever try to hurt yourself and our children like that!" he yells, taking me out of the bath, turning off the water and wrapping a warm, dry towel around me.  
"Viktor. . .?" I mumble weakly, coughing a little bit of water up. "N-no. . .You aren't real, I'm going to see him. ."  
"Going to see who?! I'm here! I'm real! Yuuri! Please! Believe me, I'm here!" He says in a panicked voice. I can see the worry on his face, and it seems like he's really tired. Has he slept at all since he left? Is that why he's really here? He's actually standing here because. . .He's worried?  
"Why would you do this?" He asks again. I suddenly feel every bit of anger at myself and everything around me turn on him. I only now realized how much it hurt to see him again, and so many questions floated to the top of my head. The only answer to his question I could come up with was "Why did you just leave? You didn't even call. . .Or give me a chance to explain. . ."  
"But I did call! I promise you, I did! You never answered the phone, neither one of them! I was so worried. . .I'm sorry, please let me explain everything to you!"  
I really didn't want to hear what he had to say, but I decided I would give him a chance to explain to me, as long as he listened to me. He said he knew what I had to say, and I didn't need to explain.   
I guess I would have to listen to him explain exactly why he seemed to disappear for two full weeks on me, but I really started to feel sick again, so maybe this can wait. . .


	8. From here to there, My love is everywhere

Viktor's P.O.V

I realized that day, I should have said what I was planning on doing, but the shock came so hard that I guess I forgot to tell Yuuri how happy I really was, and yes, I was very happy. I just wasn't prepared to give up this next season because my husband and I were having a child, I needed to think things over, all the while find a better place for a child to be raised, and a safer house, where no one can get in, including the press.   
I wanted to get a house (check, done.), then get everything we would need for the new baby (also done.) I got everything sorted out and finished in two weeks time, incredible! But, I guess Yuuri was mad at me considering he was ignoring all my calls. . . I called his cell about twelve or more times and the landline about six or seven times. No answer. Voicemail, an error message, or even just a tone that told me the line was busy (which was only one time, but I got no calls back. . .)

"Yuuri, please. . .I would never leave you all alone, no matter the circumstances. I promise you I'd never leave you, not without you saying so first, and even then I'd still try my very best to keep you."  
I look at him, now laying in our bed, in some dry clothes I put him in. He must not have been doing much around here, because everything is pretty much the same as it was when I left, including his clothes.  
"Yuuri, please tell me you've been taking care of yourself. . .You look terrible, even though you look beautiful. . ."  
He looks like he wants to be sick, he coughs and groans, shivering softly. I pout at him and rub his leg gently.  
"Y-Yuuri. . .?"  
"G-give me a minute. . .I c-can't think straight."  
I let him gather his thoughts and he suddenly seems to be crying, my eyes widen and I hug him, trying to get him to collect himself.  
"Y-Yuuri, I'm so sorry. . .I meant to go make our lives better, but I left without telling you and I just made it so much worse!" I begin to tear up seeing my husband cry, and act like this. He sits up a little, propping himself up with his elbow, his arms are covered in bandages I had for accidents on the ice.  
"Viktor. . .I think we should talk about the last two weeks. . ."  
"Me too, Yuuri. . ."  
"You look so tired. . .Maybe we should just get some sleep first. . ."  
"N-no, please. . .I missed you, we should talk!" I touch his cheek lovingly.  
He nods, accepting the fact that even if I am tired, I want to make this all right.

I hold him close, but he doesn't seem to want to be near me really, but I need to be close to him because there has just been way too much distance between us lately. Eventually he gets comfortable and snuggles me, then buries his nose in my side, taking in my scent.  
"So. . ." He starts "tell me what happened, why you left. . .What you mean by you wanted to make our lives better. . .?"

"Yuuri, to tell you the whole story, I'd have to take you to where I was. . . So I can give you my surprise. . ."  
"Then do it, I just want to know why you decided to leave me. . ." He's crying again, and I assume it's because of how out of whack his hormones are, or just the fact that he didn't think he'd ever see me again.   
"Yuuri, I'm sorry. . .Trust me, please, I felt so happy when you told me, and I was worried, so I had to think about it, and I wanted to do something special, we needed to move out of here, it's so. . Open to the press. They always find their way in here no matter what, so I wanted a new place where no one would know where we are. Where no one can get to us. . .A safe place for our kids. I drove for almost nine and a half hours to Moscow, to find us a new place. . ."  
"What?"  
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know you'd be upset! And I jus-" he cuts me off with a sweet kiss, more tears, and a small smile.   
"Thank you, my love. . ." I stopped for a moment, then realized he was happy! Go me! I'm not a bad Viktor!  
I guess you could say I am Viktor-ious!   
[Admin: Viktor, stop. . .]

I smile softly and hold his hand, then frown again, noticing Yuuri has lost a bit of weight.  
"Yuuri, tell me the answer to my question earlier. . ."  
"Which one? About me?"  
"Yes, about you, have you been taking care of yourself? You know you need to more then--"  
"--Anything right now, yes. . . I know. But. . .I haven't really, no. If I'm being honest, I don't think it'll make it. . ."  
My eyes widen at his words. I feel broken inside, after all I did. But, he is right. I think a little bit and sigh, then I lift him up bridal style, carefully, making sure his arms are securely on top of him, so they don't get bumped or bruised, or even start to bleed worse. I then proceed to take him downstairs, and to the couch, I then make him something to eat, and I sit with him. 

"Yuuri, I think we should start packing later tonight. We have a new house, and I think we should go to it. Of course, only after you see a doctor. We aren't driving for nine or more hours with you not being okay. So, we can go see Dr. Petrov when you're done getting cleaned up. Or now, works too. Just, whatever you think." I smile a little, but Yuuri doesn't reciprocate it. He looks pale and nervous. "Why do you frown, my Yuuri?" I ask.

"Well. . .It's just. . .I dunno what to do. . .She won't be too happy to hear about all this. . .And. . "  
There's an 'and?'  
"There's an 'and?'" I say out loud.   
"Well. . .There were magazines and stuff about how someone thought we were breaking up? So she is probably expecting the best from me, and she's gonna get the worst, and when you show up with me she's probably gonna question everything. . ."  
"So you think she's gonna tell us bad news, then scold us for me being so irresponsible?"  
"No, not think. . .Know." He states flatly, shaking a little.  
I sigh and stand up, taking Yuuri's hand. I kiss it and sigh again, looking at the scars on his wrist.   
"Well, you need these stitched up too. So we have no choice."  
"B-but, what about my program? What will we do? I gotta keep practicing! I don't wanna just drop out. . ."  
"I won't let you in this season if the baby is in bad shape. If it's fine, then we can keep going with the season. It's only four to six months, right?"  
"The season? Or the baby? Because the baby is only three and a half weeks old. . ."

I think about it a little and decide letting Yuuri go for one more season before he gives up the next two for a child would be okay, right? He's so skinny, it isn't hard to tell it's there, but it's still small enough no one would notice, especially if he wore baggy clothing. 

"Alright, I will let you finish this season, as long as you stay off for at least one more season after. Do we have a deal?"  
"Yes, Viktor. . ." he says quietly.  
I can't tell if he's happy or sad about that, but it bugs me that he's been so upset recently. I look at him and help him up, smiling at my small bean of a husband. He smiles back at me, hugging me around the waist and sniffling.   
"I missed you so much, you don't have any idea. . ."  
"I know. . .I'm so sorry I ever did that to you. I will never leave without a note or anything again."  
"I did it to you first. . ." True, but. . .  
"I don't care, I deserve it. . ." I mumble under my breath.  
"I love you." He suddenly says and I'm a bit taken aback by this sudden statement because in all honesty I thought for a while he would be saying things like 'I hate you' and 'you're a jerk' but, nothing like that at all, so far. I still expect it. 

~ 

I get in the driver's side of the car as soon as I get Yuuri in the passenger side, wrapped in a blanket, even if it is summer time, it only gets as warm as 72 and 74 degrees usually. Right now, it's only 62 degrees, and I don't want Yuuri to be cold. I think a bit as I begin the drive to the doctor's office, and I guess I could tell Yuuri was upset, because I grabbed his hand and he squeezed it a little, looking pretty tired.

I knew I hadn't gotten much sleep in the last probably twenty hours because I was so worried about Yuuri, then my long drive home kept me awake for longer, so everything that happened just took more time off my sleeping schedule and is making my brain hurt now. Guess I'm paying for my idiocy.  
When we arrive at the doctor's office, Yuuri pouts at me and I sigh softly.   
"Listen, I wouldn't want to go either, but we have to know how our baby is and I intend to find out."   
"You're right. . .But what about my arms? They're gonna find out what happened and lock me up in a mental ward. . ."   
I think about it and bite my lip.   
"I wouldn't let them, they'd have to fight me for you. I nearly lost you once today, I won't lose you again. Understand?" I smirk a little and take my husband's hand and lead him inside, locking the car doors. I talk to the receptionist briefly, and of course she recognizes me, so we chat a little, and when I turn around, I find my husband is missing. I look around, and notice him coming out of the bathroom, looking like he just got sick. I walk over to him, and hug him from the side, letting him have my shoulder for support. I help him sit down and a few people see us together and seem surprised. I kiss Yuuri's cheek to let them all know he's all mine and I wasn't planning on leaving him any time soon, given his current status. Even if that wasn't the case, I'd stay with him until the day I died, then some more after that. 

About fifteen minutes pass and three other people have been called and now a nurse takes me and Yuuri back, making sure of our situation. She leads us to a room and takes Yuuri's vitals and then smiles sweetly and tells us the doctor will be right in. We wait patiently until we hear a knock on the door and we both assume it could only be Dr. Petrov, but instead a rather short blonde, and a slightly taller black haired boy enter the room, looking confused. I feel just as confused as them, and then Yuuri speaks to break the silence.  
"Otabek? Yuri? what are you doing here?"  
"We heard you and Viktor went through some stuff." Otabek replies.  
"When we called the pig, he didn't answer so we assumed he was dead or gone. We called the silver idiot to see what happened, and he said he was at the hospital with him."  
"Excuse me, but my hair is not silver. It's platinum." I say grumpily.  
"What ever you say, old man." Yuri replies.   
This boy sometimes, I swear.   
"So. . .You came to check on me is all?" Yuuri asks.  
Yuri blushes, he seems flustered at first and then responds.  
"Yes! That's it! Don't think I care! If it weren't for Beka I wouldn't be here!"  
"Liar." Otabek whispers.   
"Shut up! Hey, wait a second, isn't this room in the woman's ward? Why are you in here?"  
Before Yuuri can answer, I interrupt and tell him he has something wrong with his stomach, and they needed to check it out. Yuuri, frowns and shakes his head.   
"That is not why we're here, Mr. Dad Nikiforov."  
"That is weird. You are weird, why are you really here? Why'd he call you 'Mr. Dad Nikiforov?'" Yurio now asks. 

"Well, if Yuuri wants this to come out to someone, then he can tell you." I frown, looking at him.  
"It's not like telling Pichit where it would be out in the world almost immediately after I say it!" Yuuri says, starting to get grumpy. It's kinda cute considering he's so small and cute. I can see his glasses fog up a little tiny bit, and I giggle, but just as he's about to speak to Yurio and Beka, Dr. Petrov walks in smiling softly. "Hello, Mr. Katsuki, how are you today? Are things good?"   
He instantly looks down, blushing heavily and I can see the fear in his eyes. I speak for him, taking his hand gently into mine. "Everything is fine. With. . .Him."  
"Mhm. That's good, so anything to report to me, any new sickness?"  
No.  
"Getting a good amount of sleep?"  
Definitely not.  
"Any pain? Mood swings?"  
No idea. Definitely. But, I let Yuuri answer her instead.  
"No new sickness, just violently ill in the mornings still, I've gotten a good amount of sleep. A little pain here and there, but that's all. I don't think I've been moody lately?"  
"Yes, you have. . ." I respond to him, since he looked at me for help.  
"So you have no previous experience with kids?"   
"Well, if you count friends kids?" He asks. 

About ten minutes of questions go by, and she finally gets to the serious one:   
"So, what seems to be the issue today? You came in so suddenly, it seems as though your husband said on the phone you'd done something, and you wanted to make sure the baby is alright?"  
He blushes in embarrassment. I nod at him, and he nods at her. I peek over at Yurio and Otabek and see how shocked Yurio looks, I try not to giggle. I know I'm going to hear a lot about it later. I get a good idea, though. We can talk about it later while packing up, then we can have them help us move to Moscow! They only live about an hour and a half away from there, it'll be perfect.

The doctor comes over to Yuuri, having him lay down and lift his shirt a little, she puts some cold gel on his abdomen and takes a quick look with the ultrasound wand.   
"So, it's hard to see the baby, but it does look like there is a lot of pressure and tenseness there, so we need to not stress as much, because this looks like it's stress that's been building up for a while. We don't want it to hurt the baby. So just relax for a while and everything should be good. You should just keep your wrists bandaged up, if it continues to bleed in about an hour, then come back and we will see about stitches. They aren't that deep of cuts, so you should be okay."   
And with that, she leaves us all to our room, to get ready to leave.   
Yuuri cleans himself off and Yurio waits until the door is fully closed to blow up on us. Oh, goody.  
"You knocked up the little pig!?"

"Yes. I did. And I'm proud of this."  
"You're proud that you ruined your career and took away the only competition that is worth fighting?!" He yells.  
"You need to be quiet, Mr." I say calmly. "We can talk about this and everything else at home, but I'm gonna need you both to help us move to Moscow." I say, being as serious as I can.

Yurio gives me a look but then nods and opens the door, walking out with Otabek, I help Yuuri up and walk out with him, and we all drive home to the house we are going to be leaving, very soon.


	9. White Lilly (Part 1)

Yuuri's P.O.V.

Finally, my love Viktor has come back to me, but all is not well for me. I'm uncomfortable and in pain, Viktor helps me to the car and he smiles softly trying to stay positive. I groan and sit in the car feeling dizzy, but I say nothing about it because Viktor has enough to worry about. I no longer feel any sort of anger towards him, but there is a strong amount of stress flowing through my body, and I'm quickly letting my sleepiness catch up to me. Viktor looks over at me and sighs softly, looking just as tired as me. He's back to paying attention to the road.  
"You need sleep. . ." I say tiredly. I guess I must've spooked him because he jumped the ever so slightest bit, then stole a glance at me, who apparently looked half asleep already.  
"Well so do you, you're half asleep already, goofy. . .Did you sleep at all while I was gone. . .?"  
I stay quiet for a moment, then sigh softly.  
". . .Well, no. . .Cause I was too worried that maybe you'd come home in the middle of the night, or I'd get a call that something happened, so. . ."  
"What if you did? And you didn't answer the phone?"  
"Are you saying I have too much faith in you? Because I do have lots of faith that you wouldn't get hit by a car or something. . ."  
"You're not wrong. . .But anything can happen, right, Yuuri? I thought you'd know that." He said in a sort of stressed out kind of tone.  
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying that because of the situation I'm in?"  
"No, I mean it like me and you may never have been together if you never skated my program, or if you never found out who I was and became a skater. I'm saying, because of all that's happened to us in the last six years together maybe this whole thing is some sort of blessing in disguise or something. . ."  
I sigh and shake my head. "You need sleep. . .We both do."  
"Well, how about you sleep and me and the boys can do some packing and when it's time to go, I can wake you up. I don't want a repeat of our first season. Remember? When you didn't sleep for a day and a half. So I made you?"  
"Yes, I remember, Viktor. But, I don't wanna leave all the work for you! I want to help, I need to. Please?"  
"Yuuri, you need rest. You're already stressed out enough for one body to fill, technically you're filling two bodies with it. Just one is really tiny. . ." he smirks a little bit and I blush. He's right. "Maybe I can just--"  
"Nope. You will rest. We already have furniture there, so only the really important stuff has to be put in boxes. Other than that, all we need is our clothes and stuff that doesn't need to be disassembled, so basically the small stuff."  
"Then there shouldn't be an issue with me helping a little bit, right? I mean, Viktor, please, there's stuff you probably don't want Yuri to find. . ." Just as I say that and he widens his eyes a little and frowns at me.  
"Fine. Only because you're right."

After that, we both go quiet for about five minutes again. Until of course I speak to him again.  
"Viktor. . .About the new house. . .?"  
"Mhm?"  
"Is there an Ice Rink nearby? So I can keep practicing?"  
"Why don't we look for one that's closer then the one back here. I mean, we could always drive about an hour out of town to get to the one we went to before the one we have now?"  
We talked about this the rest of the way home, and once we got there, I got out and stretched my legs, shaking softly in the cool breeze of the night. It takes about 35 minutes to drive to and from the doctor, then an hour and fifteen there, so we spent about two hours out, probably more then that, but I'm too tired to do the math.  
Yurio and Otabek pulled in just after us, and followed us inside, Yurio yelling at Viktor in Russian. I understood most of what they said, but me and Otabek just followed behind them as they walked inside and upstairs to our room. Viktor went into our closet and pulled boxes out, then told us what to do, cutting off Yurio. He went quiet and started to do what Viktor told him, I sat on the bed, waiting for Viktor to tell me what to do. He looks at me and smiles, coming over to me and kissing my head.  
"Do you really want to help out? You look so tired, Yuuri. . "  
"I do but I--" I cut myself off with a yawn "--I want to do what ever you need me to, not just easy stuff."  
"I need you to do easy stuff, you're not putting stress on your body any more then there already is. So, I want you to start with getting all the sheets and pillows and blankets and bed stuff in the house, and put it in this box!" He smiles cutely, knowing that I won't say no, because it's what I wanted. I smile back and begin finding all the bed items and put them in a box.

~

Soon enough, it seems to be getting into the late hours of the night, we already ate dinner much earlier, and we got pretty much done with packing, so now we're all four watching a movie together. Viktor said we leave tomorrow morning, and to fall asleep as soon as we can. He fell asleep before anyone else, and as he always does when he falls asleep on the couch, he has me in front of him, his arms are wrapped around me, although this time, he has a hand resting on my chest, and the other on my stomach, like he's being protective of it, he's sleeping with his head touching mine, his nose on the back of my neck, I can hear his calm and soft breathing. He hasn't been this calm since he got home. I can just barely hear his heartbeat, [Admin: CAN YOU HEAR MY HEARTBEAT] and I can tell my own heart is beating the same. It is said that if you truly love someone, and you know someone well enough, your hearts beat as one, meaning they beat the same, make the same exact noise and even slow down and speed up when your own does.

I notice Yuri and Otabek are asleep too, which means I'm the only one left, and for some reason I can't sleep. It's probably the stress of thinking about leaving this house. As if I feel like something bad is bound to happen soon, with us leaving this place.  
I can't hold back my anxiety anymore and I decide to get up, I carefully pull Viktor's hands off me, getting up and going upstairs to our room, and closing the door and quietly pacing around, pushing my hair back and noticing that my hair is coming out from stress. It's not bad, and it's definitely not able to be seen at all. I groan and hold myself, I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, lifting up my shirt a little bit and carefully examining myself. I have the start of a tiny, barely noticeable bump. It's kind of cute when I really think about that being my future son or daughter. Then I remember that skating with them in the way won't be fun, and I'll probably have to drop out halfway through the season. I really wouldn't want to, but there won't be a choice soon enough.

I take off my glasses and put them on the counter, turning on the water and rubbing it on my face, trying to relax myself little by little.  
Well that won't work, because when I looked up, My Dearest was standing silently behind me and I gasped loudly. I didn't even hear him come in, and he nearly gave me a heart attack.  
"Yuuri. . .I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just that when I went to go hug you again, you were gone and I started to worry. I saw the light was on in the bedroom and I heard you pacing again. . .Then the water turned on and I got really worried. . ."  
"It's alright, you just. . .Scared the life out of me. . ."  
"I better not have, I went through so much trouble to do stuff for us all. . ."  
"Not like that, Viktor! I mean you actually scared me! Just. . ." I sigh softly. "I needed to relax, I couldn't sleep. I-I can't stand being in this house anymore, it's so cramped and depressing and just. . .I need to leave, I can't feel anything but stress here!"

Viktor takes my hand and smiles, rubbing it gently with his thumb.  
"Do you want to sit outside and talk about it? I can get a light and some pillows and blankets and we can go lay out on the front porch, would you like that?"  
"But, it's almost one in the morning, isn't it? And it's gotta be freezing, right?" I ask, being the now concerned person I am.  
"You worry too much, Yuuri." he says casually, as if it's not news to him.  
Well, I guess it's not but I find myself even more worried then I ever would be before Viktor came back. I guess it's my own way of saying don't do anything stupid, Yuuri. You might lose the love of your life, or worse, the one thing your lover wants so bad that he is willing to spend thousands of dollars to buy you a new house with new furniture and all, and pay for an expensive party for your family and friends to come christen the house. And you know he's going to throw a party eventually.  
Speaking of friends: I forgot, I never called Pichit back, and he's probably worried sick about me! I have to call him as soon as I can! Tomorrow morning, when I know he's awake, I'll call and tell him all about what happened!

~

So, remember how I said I was gonna call Pichit? Yeah, well. . .Didn't happen yet.  
I got really distracted with the moving and stuff. We're in the car and I yawn softly, just waking up. Viktor smiles and squeezes my hand a little.  
"Hey, morning sunshine! More like afternoon, but. . ."  
"How long did I sleep for?" And come to think of it, when did I fall asleep?  
"You've been asleep since One-thirty last night when I came to check in on you. It's about four now, so I'd say. . ." He goes quiet, quickly doing the math in his head. "Like. . .eight and a half hours I think?"  
"What?! Why didn't you wake me up! Now I'm never gonna sleep tonight!"  
"Trust me, you will. You needed it anyway. So I left you to sleep." I see he's still driving, we must still be on our way to Moscow. I remember he woke me up to get into the car, saying that it'd already been packed up and ready to go, and Yurio and Otabek were already on their way out there with half our stuff.  
"Well, I had to have been awake for at least a half hour, because I got in the car and everything, right? Then I stayed awake for a bit, until I couldn't stay awake anymore. How long have we been driving?"  
"About six hours, I guess. We left at almost ten, and we're a little more then halfway there. We're so close to having our new lives, Yuuri! Aren't you excited!"  
No, I feel sick to my stomach and tired as all hell.  
"Of course I am, Viktor. . .But I'm still a bit worried about all this. Don't you think this could be even the slightest bit dangerous?"  
"Why would I think that?" He says with a cute little smile. I blush because he's making that one cute face. The one where his eyes look all sparkly and his face has just a little trace of a blush on it.  
He looks over at me and frees his hand from mine, putting it to my cheek lovingly.  
"Yuuri, we can be closer to our friends, we can finish this season probably, then to top it all off, we can have a private life, with our beautiful future kids! Aren't you happy to have that?"  
I smile and giggle, telling him to focus on the road, not me.  
"I do, I really, really do! Just, you know me. . .Always scared of something. It's my anxiety, love." I respond to him finally.

The first half of the trip was over, but the second half was still happening. Viktor said he'd pulled over a while ago to fill the car with gas, and he claims he tried asking if I wanted any tea or breakfast, but I guess in my sleep I said no. He got me something anyway, though and I smiled. He told me he wasn't going to stop for the next three hours of driving, but if I felt sick or anything, I needed to tell him right away so he could find a place to stop, just for a bit. He told me Yurio and Otabek were behind us at this point and he would have to lead them along to a stopping point for me, but I didn't feel like interrupting our trip because we were already half way there and I know Yurio would throw a fit if we dared.

I feel sleepy still but I stay awake now because I know if I don't I won't sleep later, which will cause Viktor to panic and he won't sleep because he's too worried. I haven't slept too well in about a week and a half. I've eaten, and kept myself hydrated but that's all. I need to get back to my normal self again, and Viktor is helping me toward it, but its a slow and tiring process, because I don't exactly want to take care of myself, so it makes Viktor worry and get upset, which makes me stress out and panic.  
He makes sure everything is fine constantly. If I mention the slightest thing wrong he flips out and does anything he can to fix it.  
I bet I could tell him the sun is too bright and he'd fly to space and try to put it out, just because he loves me that much.

"Viktor, when we get everything done, can we please go practice my routine? I haven't gotten in any time to practice and I probably shou--"  
"Yuuri, I want you to be well rested and healthier before you take one step on the ice. Who knows what could happen, especially because you've been overly stressed out lately."  
"It would relax me though, one less thing to worry about, right? And it would take a lot of other things off my mind too? And after that, we can spend all the time in the world together, we can get back to our normal lives, we can even make katsudon together for dinner, like we used to. . ."  
He sighs and thinks about it for a bit, it's gone quiet again and he bites his lip a little, then peeks at me again, then his focus is on the road.  
"If you feel alright, and you look fine, and you've eaten something so you don't pass out, and we get all our stuff unpacked tonight, then yes. We will go tomorrow morning, after breakfast."  
"Tomorrow morning?" I pout.  
"Well, we still have so much stuff, even if we left most of our old stuff behind. I don't see us getting done tonight, and even so, we've yet to talk about what happened. I never got to explain that, did I?"  
"No. . .You're right. I think that your plan sounds good, my love. . . "  
We go back to being quiet, and eventually we pull up to an amazing looking house.

~

"Viktor, you did not!" I say, stepping into a room, full of tiny things. A tiny crib, a tiny wardrobe, a tiny table and a magnificent rocking chair, and even a little light hanging from the ceiling, which is painted like a beautiful sky.  
The walls are painted a wonderful green, soft and calming, like a mint color. The crib is painted a deep green, the wardrobe is beautiful mahogany, and everything in the room just makes me cry from how perfect it all is. Viktor comes over to me and hugs me from behind and I smile and kiss his cheek a few times, he wipes the tears from under my glasses and he giggles at me and pulls me into his arms, and I smile more because I can't help but feel every bit of happiness flow from my body.  
Mood swings maybe? I can't tell, but I have never felt so happy and excited and I know this is something Viktor did when he was gone. I notice how soft the carpet is beneath my feet, and I smile and peek down and blush seeing it's a pretty contrasting maroon color. I also see the same tiny lump I saw last night, and I automatically put my hand on it, smiling up at Viktor.  
I've never wanted a baby, but seeing that Viktor has put all this effort into this little room, and in getting a safe place for our family to become so amazing, I'm beginning to think it won't be too terrible! 

At least I thought it wouldn't be. . .


	10. White Lilly (Part 2)

Viktor's P.O.V. [Warning: Graphic content ahead!]

I smile at Yuuri, seeing as he's extremely happy. In fact, he's so happy, he's crying tears of joy and it's making me feel like the proud dad I am soon to be! I hold Yuuri's hand happily and I kiss his neck softly, telling him just to take it easy, and I can take care of our stuff with our stubborn son-like friend and his lover. Yuuri giggles at me and nods, not even trying to fight.  
"You can take a look around the rest of the house, too. I think you'll enjoy the bedroom especially." I wink at him and he blushes heavily. I can tell days of stress are coming off at this very moment! I can feel it in my heart!

I go to walk him to our room and he stops for a moment, looking at me, so naturally I pause and look over my husband, worrying.  
"Viktor, I love you." he says out of nowhere.  
I mean, it's not really out of nowhere if you're married to the love of your life, right?  
"Oh, I know, Yuuri. . .And I love you, too." I respond, walking over to him, taking his hand in mine, he plays with my fingers, then sighs softly. That isn't a good sign. . .  
"I'm still so stressed out and stuff, and I just wanna be with you right now. . ." He says softly, looking at his feet.  
Not as bad as I thought, but I also don't really know what to say. No, wait! I got it!  
"How about I get the boxes inside and we can unpack tomorrow, then go to practice?"  
"You always have a plan, don't you Viktor? That's why you're gonna be a great dad. . ." He smiles, and so do I.  
Good job, Viktor. You've made your Husband happy for another day.

~

I listen to Yuuri's skates hitting the ice as he tries out some jumps for his new program. I don't think he's very into this, yet. He seems shakier then usual and he's got a lot less stamina then before. Maybe it's because he's not focused on his feet, and skating, and he's more focused on himself, and me. He's been acting very needy towards me lately, and I can't tell if it's from his hormones being all messed up, or just the fact that it's been about three weeks since I got back and we've moved to Moscow, and he's scared I'm gonna leave again. He's pushing himself too hard, so I need to get him to take a break.

"Yuuri, you're pushing yourself. . . Come take a quick break, then we can continue to practice these jumps." I call over to him.  
He definitely seems tired and weaker, and I know his body is going through some changes since he's now almost two months. I sigh and push my hair back, and my husband doesn't seem to be listening to me, and now he's skating back around to try another jump.  
I don't remember much, but I do remember hearing Yuuri hit the ground, hard.

I looked back at him just in time to see him do a very badly failed quad lutz, his arms couldn't move fast enough, but he tried to put his arms around himself. His arms didn't move in time to protect him. He landed on his front side, hitting his head, arm, stomach, and hips. He didn't move, so naturally when I saw him I began to freak out and call his name in a panicked way. I saw him twitch the slightest bit and I couldn't stop myself, I ran over to him, falling to my knees by his side. My vision was starting to blur, then I realized I was crying, I pulled Yuuri close to me and called his name again.  
"Yuuri! Yuuri, can you hear me?!"  
He mumbled, crying as well, his arm laying limp beside him.  
At first I didn't hear him, but I carefully and quickly made out what he said as being 'I can't feel anything' and that made me worry even more.  
"What do you mean y-you can't feel anything?"  
"M-My arm. . .I can't feel my arm. . .A-a-and my. . H-head. . "  
"W-what about your head?" I say as I whimper.  
"O-oh God, it hurts. . ." He whispers shakily.  
I then took note of the mark on his head, red, and possibly a little bloody, he might have gotten a concussion, but I couldn't move, I was stuck by his side, staring at his arm, which seemed to be swollen already and I could see his arm was bent a little weirdly. Suddenly I remember telling him to move his arm, to put his hand in mine. He said he couldn't and I then proceeded to tell him to prepare to be picked up, and that we were going home, and I was calling the doctor as soon as possible.

I brought him home, I laid him in bed and thought hard about what to do, trying to keep my focus. 'Call the doctor!' My brain told me, but I did not respond on the outside. Then it hit me and I ran to the phone, feeling sick, and scared to death about Yuuri's condition.  
After about a thirty minute phone call, I was told to take Yuuri to the nearest hospital, and be aware of any sort of bleeding. Well, I had ice for him to keep on his head and swollen arm, and I didn't notice any other bleeding of any sort before I left him, but as I got back, he wasn't where I left him and the bathroom door seemed to be locked, and then I heard him crying in there, trying to stay silent, but failing miserably.  
"Yuuri! What's wrong? Are you alright?" I ask through the door, putting my ear to it, listening carefully for what I thought would be his soft and shaky answer. Instead, I heard him scream in what I assume to be pain, and cry harder, telling me not to come in, that he was fine.

I don't think so, Yuuri.

I won't fall for that, not today, not ever.  
I frown upon hearing him lie to me, and kick the door open.  
I expect to see his arm broken open, gushing blood, or his body convulsing or him puking or dying or something.  
But, when I looked in the bathroom at my husband, he was fine. He didn't lie, but I know that someone else wasn't as great off as he was, and he was the one who would pay for it all, and feel every bit of guilt and pain flowing from his body. He sat in a large puddle of blood, his legs looked red, and I realized what must've happened when he fell.  
Now I got what the doctor said about bleeding, I understood and I tensed up and walked carefully to Yuuri. I stay quiet as he looks up at me and looks scared, his eyes full of those same tears he had the night we first kissed.  
"Y-Yuuri. . .I. . .Wow. . .U-um. ." I didn't know what to say, so I kept stuttering until he whispered to me to be quiet, he wanted a moment for us both to calm down.  
After a few quiet moments, he sighs softly and blinks his eyes hard, like he wants his eyes to stop watering and refocus on me. I quickly put my hand to his cheek, trying to comfort him, but he pulls my hand away, looking down.  
"Yuuri. . .The doctor said we need to go to the hospital, because if you. . .Hurt yourself, or the baby. . ." I trail off, seeing him start to cry again.  
"Y-Yuur--"  
"Stop. . .I know. . .Don't you understand what's happening?" he says quietly.  
I knew what he meant by that but I was denying the thought from passing through my head.  
I begin to tear up and I want to hold him close, and I know he needs it, but he pushes me away when I try, and he makes a noise like it hurts, and I realize his arm is probably broken from the fall. I know he can take a fall, but he must have been distracted thinking, and he fell on his arm when he tried to protect the baby. I shake my head and help him up, trying to get him to the car. On the way to the hospital he seems to be really quiet, so I looked at him and he was just holding his now bruised and swollen wrist. I noticed he still had a little blood coming out of him, but he seemed to ignore it. I couldn't. But I sighed and stayed quiet, occasionally looking over to him to make sure he's okay. Well. . . as okay as he could be right now. 

~

I push my hair back and hope for the best when the doctor comes into the room, and I can see it on her face that she doesn't have good news for us.

"So, there's a lot of blood lost, and there's quite a bit of swelling from irritation and stress, so I do have some very bad news for you both."

Called it.

As she spoke, Yuuri started to get uncomfortable, he squirmed and whimpered, I can see him crying again. I tried to take his hand in mine, but he again pulled away. He didn't want my touch. We both stayed quiet, she started giving us the news but I couldn't focus, I felt so sick. My vision started to blur and I couldn't see anything, but I knew Yuuri's worried eyes follow me to the ground.

I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was in a hospital bed, Yuuri was nowhere to be seen. I felt my heart ache for him, but no matter what I wished for, he did not come from somewhere else in the hospital. He must've been in his own room, I finally concluded. I sat and waited for a doctor or someone to enter my room, and just that happened about ten minutes after I woke up.  
"Hello, Mr. Nikiforov. How are you feeling? Are you okay now?" I rub my eyes a little, and nod softly. "Yes, I think so. . ."  
I still felt dizzy and tired by all that just happened, the things I heard Dr. Petrov say to us. I feel the nurse take my hand, probably looking for my pulse, she was saying something but I didn't listen to her. I cut her off and asked where Yuuri was. She said she didn't really know, but she knew Dr. Petrov was planning on taking him to an emergency surgery to reduce the amount of blood being collected in his uterus, so that the doctor could see things clearer, and we can tell if our baby really was. . . Gone.

"Can I see him? I need to see him, we need to talk. I can't let him make any stupid decisions on his own." I say, starting to become worried.  
"I can see if we can let you go see him, but I won't make any promise that you can because he might already be prepped and ready to go."  
"You mean to tell me they didn't ask my permission to cut open my husband?"  
She seems flustered and goes quiet for a moment, I must be pretty intimidating because she looks nervous. I apologize for being so firm, but that is my lover and he means everything to me. I refuse to let them keep me here without saying a single word to my one and only love before they tear him apart!

~

I ask him a few questions, and when I ask about this whole surgery thing to see what he thinks he sighs.  
Yuuri shrugs and god, he looks so tired the poor angel. . .  
I sigh and take his hand, he pulls it away of course. He doesn't want my touch at the moment because he's too tired and stressed out. He just needs time. He just lost our baby after all, and I don't blame him, I blame myself. It was my fault. I let him push himself. I ruined everything, and I am going to take the blame.  
I left him for two weeks, all alone, scared, and carrying our baby. Then I pushed him in practice and everything is messed up at this point because of me.  
I now notice he's also got a sling on his arm, because when he fell his wrist must have nearly snapped, but I think it's only a sprain. I take a deep breath and look at him in his chocolate brown eyes and I bite my lip and decide to speak up.  
"So, Yuuri. . .Now what? I. . .I ruined everything for us. . ."  
"No you didn't, Viktor. I did. You did nothing wrong. . ." He says, his eyes glistening with tears. I feel bad, but I say nothing.

~

The day we came home, everything was quiet and calm. I didn't say a word to Yuuri on the way home, and he didn't say a word to me. I haven't tried to hug or kiss him, because I think he's still mad at me. He's been asking for a lot of alone time lately and it worries me, but I oblige and leave him to do his own thing. I've been reading some of the old books I've got from my family in the past, and I guess it's been keeping me busy enough, but today I just don't want a book, I want Yuuri. I left him alone about an hour ago, and I usually don't invade his personal time for himself, but I can't live like this anymore. It's been weeks, or at least it feels like it.  
I head up to our bedroom and open the door, he isn't there and my heart starts sinking because I know where he is. He's in the one room we really don't need anymore. I sigh and head over to the soft, green room and there, in the middle sits my husband. He looks somehow more tired then before, even if he's been sleeping a lot the past few days. I bite my lip, trying not to break the silence, but he does it instead.  
"Viktor. . .I'm sorry. . ."  
"Sorry for what?" I say quietly.  
"For. . . Ruining our chance at a happy life, with a happy family."  
"But you didn't. I did, not you. You shouldn't have to worry about what I'm thinking of you because I still think you're better than anyone out there, even after all of this. I ruined it, because I left you to worry. And after everything, it turned out that we weren't ready for this kind of thing anyway. It was my fault, along with poor planning and bad timing." I say, feeling worse as I think about it.  
I then proceed to feel worse because not only now am I thinking of those stupid choices I made, I made Yuuri cry, and when I go to hug him, he pulls away, making every feeling in my body officially disappear.

What are we supposed to be if we can't even get passed this? I turn and leave the room slowly, feeling strange. He never rejects me when he's this upset, so now I know just how bad I've made it. And it burns and stings like a bee.

I go out for a walk and keep my eyes toward the ground, hoping no one will talk to me. It's very quiet out here, and the sun is just setting. After about two blocks, I decide to go home, and just as I'm heading inside, I found something that made me feel a little bit of happiness, but much more sadness, just because it made me think of what I wanted to ask Yuuri. I wanted him to buy a beautiful flower to keep in the child's room. Just because it would resemble the child, whether male or female. It's beauty and grace, like Yuuri on the ice, would be symbolized by this flower.

A White lilly.


	11. Watashi wa hana o mitsuketa! (I found my flower!)

[Yuuri's P.O.V. (please correct if that is the wrong translation!)]

I find myself rushing around the house to find Viktor. To see if what I've done has finally set him off, and he left. I heard the door close and I know he isn't inside the house, so I go outside and nearly run into him as he was just about to open the door. I turn pink, my eyes still letting a steady drip of tears out, and I turn back inside and sit on the couch, my head in my hands.  
Viktor says something quietly, then walks upstairs. I panic and run after him, thinking he's pulling the same thing again, but instead of finding him in our room packing things up, he's in the nursery, putting a white lilly in a vase, and I stop and stare confusedly for a moment, and I recall a time when Viktor said his favorite flower was a white lilly, because it made him think of me. He said it had beauty and grace, and it's soft pale petals made it look so elegant. 

I sigh, and I can see the surprise on Viktor's face because I don't think he noticed me come into the room. He looks at me and sighs, nodding. All I want from him right now is a simple hug, but when he gives it to me I suddenly don't want him to touch me. Maybe it's for fear that all my failures will rub off on him, and make him something less then perfect. He looks almost dead to be completely honest, and it hurts me more then anything to see him like that, knowing that I can't do anything, and that I am the reason he's like this.  
I feel myself shaking, and I look at him in the eyes, almost in a begging way and I talk to him.  
"Y-you aren't leaving are you?" I say worriedly.  
"No, why would I ever?"  
"Just. . . Worried, okay?" I say shaking more, feeling sick at this point. I end up walking out of the room to get sick, and it burns as I cough up anything I've eaten in the last few hours. I hear Viktor come into the bathroom quietly, he doesn't come near me, like he's been told not to come too close. I sigh, feeling awful, but I then decide to get up and just go sleep this all off, thinking I'd feel better in the morning.  
I push past Viktor and sigh, heading to bed. I'm tired anyway, even if I have slept late for the last three or four days. 

~

I woke up early today, and I see Viktor is in bed too now. I squint over at the clock, which is on his side of the bed. I turn and grab my glasses putting them on, then look again.  
Oh great, I guess I'm waking up at five in the morning because I went to bed early, but now I can't tell because I feel sick, and this has obviously happened before.  
I get out of bed and I hear Viktor complain in his sleep, and he's mumbling a word I just so happen to recognize: Kiseki, which means miracle.  
I guess he's having a good dream, but I'm living in hell. I'm still pretty miserable, but I'll get over it soon enough. 

I expected this sickness to be over with quickly, but it wasn't. It stayed with me that whole day, and then some. It's been about four days since I started to feel sick again, and so I decided to sneak off to the doctor again, but this time I left a note to avoid what happened last time.

Dear Viktor, 

Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Yes, I promise. I just went to the store to get some things for dinner tonight to make up for me being so selfish and mean to you. 

I'm sorry, I love you my darling.

\-- Love, Yuuri Niki-Katsuki 

At least this should stop him from worrying now. I know it's a lie, but I really was planning on making him something special, so in retrospect it isn't that much of a lie, I'm just adding the doctor into the equation here, because god knows I need it. . .  
When I go, the doctor questions why I'm here alone, because she knows Viktor is always connected at the hip with me.  
"He's still asleep, and I didn't wanna wake him. We got into a fight yesterday because of all the stress on ourselves. I'm gonna make it up to him, but I just need to know what's wrong with me. I had a miscarriage about a week ago, and I still feel all the symptoms of pregnancy very strongly, I even have a small bump still. . .Is there any chance that maybe I am still pregnant?" I ask with concern in my voice.  
"It's not likely, but we can take a quick look if you'd like? Have you taken a pregnancy test recently, just to see?" Dr. Petrov looks at me curiously. I shake my head and she nods.  
"Well, would you prefer to take one then? Or would you rather me do an ultrasound?"  
"Can we do both? Just to be completely sure?"  
"Of course we can. You can never be too careful. Let me just go get you that test, then I can take a quick look and by the time we're done there, the test should be good to go." She smiles and leaves the room briefly to do just what she said, and by the time I came back from taking the test, I could tell I was shaking. She had me lie down, and we did all the normal stuff, the gel, the wand, the screens. After about five minutes she looks at me and smiles wide.  
"Yuri, you seem to have a little miracle on your hands. You'll be having a baby Katsuki in about six and a half months." she smiles, handing me some tissue to get cleaned up.  
I go to the store, in a better mood then the last six weeks. Dr. Petrov just told me I'm almost three months pregnant with a baby I thought died a week ago, my husband loves me and wants to be with me, and best of all, all the things Viktor got for us and our new family aren't a constant and painful reminder now. Better than that, my arm is almost fully healed, so I won't need a cast in the next week or so because it was just sprained! I can't wait to tell Viktor! He must be so sleepy right now, my adorable little husband! I reach into my pocket and feel something in there, I frown and pull it out, blushing softly as I realize I still have the test. I can show Viktor this for proof! 

~

When I got home I had a few bags on my arms, and Viktor was sitting on the couch, looking glum, watching the t.v. and drinking some coffee. He looks over at me, and I guess he can see how happy I am, cause he smiles a little bit back, then goes back to being gloomy and sad. I walk into the kitchen, putting things away and taking care of what I need to, then I think about how I'm gonna tell my sad, but lovely husband. 

I got it now! And I'm gonna go talk to him!  
I walk back over to him, still smiling wide, he looks up at me confused and I lean down and give him the most loving and agape-filled kiss. He seems really shocked by this, because I'd been really grumpy and sad lately, but right now I couldn't be happier! I look him in the eyes, and they seem to get that special glisten back in them.  
"Viktor, after I make dinner later, do you wanna watch movies all night and snuggle?"  
"Yuuri, what's with the sudden mood change? You've been so upset, I was worried about you. . ."  
"I went out and the sunshine and everything made me feel much better! I feel like my heart is gonna burst with joy!" I start to tear up and smile wide, hugging him tightly.  
He holds my face, blushing lightly, staring into my eyes.  
"Yuuri, you aren't on drugs are you?"  
"What? No! Viktor, I. . .We'll talk later, alright?" I give him a quick kiss on the head, he touches the spot I kissed and he smiles softly, nodding in agreement.  
I go upstairs and get an old shoe box that Viktor insisted we would need (turns out he was right!) and then I start to write a note to him, a little poem.

After I finished looking up and writing the poem down, I put some wrapping paper and ribbon on it. I hear Viktor walking upstairs and I quickly shove the box in my dresser so he can't find it just yet, then I run into the bathroom and close the door, turning on the shower to make him think nothing was up, I decide it would probably be a good idea to get in anyway, so I do. Lucky I did because Viktor opened the door and peeked at me in the shower, making sure I was okay.  
"I heard the water start running and I got worried. . .Cause of last time. . ."  
I shake my head and smile again. "No need to worry, no one is dying anytime soon." I kiss his lips and he blushes, completely missing my, now changed, nude form. He smiles again and nods, brushing a stray hair from my eyes, then he pulls off my glasses and I frown.  
"Yuuri, you forgot your glasses. . ." I bite my lip, slightly panicking, because I knew I was in a rush, but I brushed it off.  
"Yeah, I thought I was missing something. You weren't as blurry as normal. . ." I laughed nervously. "Sorry, guess I'm pretty tired still since I got up real early again. . ." I look down at my feet. He glances down too, then blushes more and nods.  
"I noticed, Yuuri. I got worried for a moment when you weren't in bed, but then I saw you left a note, and I started thinking about how cruel I was. . .I shouldn't have said that yesterday. . ."  
"Babe. . ."  
"Yes. . . ?"  
"Let's just forget about that. We have special stuff to talk about. It's only 11:30, so you'll get your surprise later, I need a shower, and you can wait for me and do whatever, and we can watch movies all day!" I kiss him again and giggle softly, staring into his beautiful bright diamond eyes. "You're perfect. . ."  
"You're more perfect." He fires back at me and I smile.  
When he's gone, I finish my shower, then I look at myself in the mirror a little, noticing how my body has changed more since the last I've looked. I smile at it and giggle at how I can see the slightest hint of my baby showing. I decide to wear one of Viktor's shirts, because it smells like him, and it's comforting. When he sees me he quirks an eyebrow and frowns.  
"Why do you have my shirt on? You don't usually wear my clothes unless I'm not around?"  
I shrug and go over to him, sitting on his lap, he pulls me close and lays me on his chest, turning on the t.v.  
"I like it. . .It smells like you. And it's comfortable and keeps me happy and calm. Why? am I not allowed to now?" I giggle, pushing up my glasses from my nose, he kisses my cheeks a bunch of times, then plays with a few locks of my hair.  
"Well, of course you are, it's just. . .Unusual. You could have the real deal, right here?"  
"Yeah, true. But I wouldn't be as comfortable in my clothes, silly. I wanted yours because they make me feel comfy, and happy. They comfort me in some weird way."  
He kisses my neck and smiles.  
"I get that, love. I don't mind, you look better in it then I ever would. . ." He smirks, rubbing my chest softly. I nearly let it slip out when his hand moves down to my stomach, but I bite my lip and smile at him.  
"What's that look for?" he asks me, looking into my eyes.  
"Hm. . .You wanna get your gift now or later? I can barely contain myself. . ." I say quietly, biting my lip harder, smiling at him.

He shrugs and sighs, probably not thinking anything in the lines of 'I'm pregnant'. I look at him like I don't know what that means. So he nods, and I smile and burst out with giggles, then I get up rushing upstairs, calling after to him to follow.  
About a minute goes by and he comes upstairs, sighing softly. I go into my dresser and pull the box out, handing it to him. He opens it up and blushes, seeing an envelope and a bear and flower. He looks worried, and pretty upset actually, but then he grabs the letter and opens it, reading it out loud:

What has ten fingers, and ten little toes, two sleepy eyes, and a cute button nose? 

What has two feet, and a belly to tickle, and can cause a craving for ice cream and pickles? With just one more hint, I'm sure you will see, the answer to this riddle begins with a 'B'

\-- Baby Katsuki-Nikiforov,  
Due April 26, 2017

His eyes widen and he nearly gasps, tearing up.  
"Yuuri. . . ?"  
I take his hand and put it on that tiny bump of mine, nodding.  
"Yes, Viktor. . .Our baby is safe." I tear up.  
"Thank you, Yuuri. . ." He whispers, hugging me tight and crying silently on my shoulder.  
I rub his back and hum a little, calming him down slowly.  
"You're gonna be a great mother, Yuuri. . ."  
"Father. . ." I correct.  
"You're carrying, you're mom." he says quietly, smiling on my neck. I can't help but giggle at him and sigh. As long as my family stays together, I won't mind what I am. 

I just hope nothing can tear us apart like it's said 60% of marriages usually fail. . .


	12. The Pig, The Wolf, and The Tiger

[Viktor's P.O.V]

Yuuri has now told me that he is still carrying our baby! I couldn't be more excited! However, I want him to get plenty of time to rest so I won't let him make dinner alone tonight. I'll clean up after everything too, while Yuuri picks a movie to watch and relaxes on the couch, waiting for me.  
But of course my phone--  
"Yuri. . ."  
"Old man, what are you and the pig doing tonight? Beka and I wanted to come over and make you dinner and play games or whatever. . ."  
I think for a moment, then sigh softly.  
"Well, we were going to spend the night together watching movies, but. . . I'll ask Yuuri if he minds you guys coming over." I turn to look at him, but he isn't where he was about ten seconds ago. Well, time for a new game I have a habit of playing in the store and the house sometimes, called 'Where is my Katsudon Prince?'  
And to be honest, I'm terrible at this game. . .

I look in the bathroom-- Maybe he's sick?  
No.  
I check the laundry room-- Maybe he wants to clean some clothes?  
Of course not.  
In the kitchen-- Starting dinner already?  
Nope.  
It was only then I saw where he was, he was in the backyard with the puppies! 

I smile at him and tilt my head, seeing him sit with his knees up to his chest.  
I wonder how long he's gonna be able to do that for. . .  
He seems to be smiling the brightest smile I've seen in weeks, and to that I have to congratulate myself, because obviously I'm the best-est husband ever!  
I now take note that he's sitting in one of my sweatshirts, throwing a ball for Scruffy and Makkachin, that is until I walk over to the sliding glass door, and Scruffy notices me and completely loses it and jumps on his two hind legs.  
Opening the door, I smile at Yuuri, and he smiles back at me and giggles a little.  
I sit next to him and take his hand in mine, he tosses the ball for the dogs again then he leans on my chest and sighs happily, feeling content. He puts his nose on my shoulder and smiles, mumbling into my shirt about how I 'smell so good right now.'

I hum softly and giggle, then the realization hits that I never mentioned Yuri and Otabek coming over, and Yuri is probably still on the phone. . .  
I stand up quickly and run inside and scream looking for my phone, knowing I'm going to get an earful. 

"Yuri! Hey buddy! Um, s-so good news! I found Yuuri! And I. . .Did not ask! Please give me like five minutes to maybe convince him!"  
"FINALLY YOU'RE BACK! YOU MADE ME WAIT FOR SO LONG, I ALMOST HAD A BIRTHDAY, YOU SILVER TWIT!"  
I had to hold the phone away from my ear just so I wouldn't go deaf. When I calmly put it back to my ear, I corrected him.  
"It's. Platinum." I drop the phone again and go to find Yuuri, who is actually coming to see me now, so we meet halfway in the house, I grab his hand and pull him very close, kissing him deeply and making him blush, and turn to mush before I ask.  
"Listen, Yuri called me and he wants to know if him and Beka can come tonight to make us dinner and watch a movie or something because they want to know how you are, even though they've got no clue about literally anything that's happened in the last week or so. So what do you say? I know this is very last minute, but--"  
"Viktor, yes."  
"--but Yuuri! You have to let them--! Wait, what?"  
"I said yes. . . I think they should hear about all that's happened since they last saw us, and the good news that we didn't actually lose the baby. . ."  
I feel a sudden wave of heat hit me and I frown, staring at him in shock.  
"Are you sure? Like, super sure? Because I dunno how Yurio will react. . ."  
"It'll be fine. . . Trust me." He says without worry. 

I kiss his cheek and smile softly, and grab my phone again and sigh softly then whisper.  
"Yuri. . .?"  
"What do you want? And why are you whispering?"  
"Yuuri says yes! He wants to talk and everything, and he thinks you should know more than anyone about this last week!" I say to him at regular tone.  
"Fine, we'll be there in less than an hour, we're just at the store now."  
And of course he hangs up. I return to my Yuuri, who is on the couch with Makka and Scruffy on top of him. He's on his phone looking through Instagram, it seems like when I come downstairs he's suddenly surprised by my appearance and then he quickly starts to call someone. I look at him confused, but then I come over and move the pups off his chest and I snuggle him, pulling him close. Just as I get comfortable, and so does he, he sits up then walks away into the kitchen. I feel upset by him leaving, but I follow him and wrap my arms around him from behind. He sighs and reaches up and touches my face, but he gasps softly when the phone is answered by the person on the other end. 

"Pichit! I'm so, so sorry I never called you back! I totally forgot, Viktor and I--"  
I can hear Pichit on the other end yelling kind of loud and excitedly. 

"Viktor is back?! And you're both okay?! Yuuri, you had me worried!"  
"Yes, Pichit I'm fine. . .Thanks to Viktor. In fact, there's something we need to talk about, face to face. Do you think you can get a flight out here soon?"  
A moment of silence passes, and I assume Pichit is talking.  
"O-Oh right, you don't know. . .We moved to Moscow, and it's something to do with what we need to talk about actually. The whole reason Viktor. . .Left. . ."  
Another silence.  
"Yes, thank you Pichit! I'll make sure we have a room for you to stay in, and we can go out and talk and explore, but Viktor might follow along and all, but that isn't a big deal. . .Right?" he looks at me, blushing softly, I kiss him gently, he goes back to listening to Pichit.  
They talk for a little longer, then he hangs up I smile and rub his sides, kissing his neck here and there. He blushes and smirks, running a hand up my chest.  
Soon after we started getting all 'touchy-feely' with each other, I heard a car pulling up and then a knock on the door. 

I hold Yuuri to my body and walk towards the door, opening it up to see Yurio and Beka, and they pull away from each other, they were holding hands and I can see a trace of blush on Yuri's face. I smirk at him and he gives me the death glare from hell. I just smile sweetly and let them inside, letting my sweet Katsudon beauty go, and following the other two into the kitchen. Since they helped put things where they belonged, they know where everything is, but I was still going to help, hoping that Yuuri could get some much needed sleep.

 

~

 

A little while later, I went to get Yuuri again and he seemed to be sleeping on the couch. I smiled and walked over to him, brushing his hair with my fingers, he twitched a little and I poked his cheek.  
"Yuuri, you forgot to take off your glasses again. . ."  
He makes a cute little grunting noise like he does when he's sleepy. I kiss his head and smile wider, taking his hand in mine.  
"Yuuri. . .Dinner is ready. . . Are you coming?" I say and I kiss his head again.  
He sighs softly, opening his eyes slowly, he looks upset, but he also looks like he's well rested and happy to see me, as usual.  
Our lives have sort of gotten into a regular routine again, and I'm glad because having him worry and be upset and out of order makes everything harder on everyone. Including our little miracle flower. You know what, that's cute. I think I'll call them that for now! 

He sits up slowly, probably trying to come back into this century since he fell asleep so abruptly. You may wonder how it's obvious to me, but remember a few things:  
1) I am married to him and I know him well,  
2) His phone is laying on his chest, not on the table where it normally would be,  
3) He's on the couch, without a blanket, and the look on his face says it all.

I sigh softly, helping him sit up, and he holds himself like he's gonna be sick. I ask if he needs something to spit into, but he shakes his head and hugs me, then walks away to the bathroom, most likely to vomit.  
I'd be lying if I said I'm surprised he ate so little, considering the state he's in.  
Yurio and Beka are sitting at the table, having a conversation with Yuuri and I, and he seems tired already again. 

"So, wait you're telling me you thought it. . .Wasn't alive? Then suddenly it is?"  
"No, Yurio. It was, but when the doctor looked it was hard to see, so she said it probably was. Then he went and she said it was fine."  
"Viktor, that isn't how it went. . .She said it might be, but it was hard to tell, so they presumed they were dead, and now our happy Sun-bean is actually fine, just. . .A little stressed."  
"Huh. . .Sun-bean? Maybe we should call you Moon-bean, Yura."  
"Beka! Ya klyanus' vam, yesli vy dazhe!"

This conversation went on for about an hour, and then we talked of boring adulty type stuff. 

After everything, Yuri and Otabek went to sleep on the couch, and me and Yuuri headed to bed, but before he would lay down, he had to go check if our second open room was clean enough for Pichit to stay in, since we had invited him over to stay for a while. I followed him, but went a separate way, heading to the child's room. I decided to stay awake for a bit, thinking all the way back to mine and Yuuri's anniversary, thinking about how I sat up in our old guest bedroom in St. Petersburg trying to imagine what could possibly be good enough to give Yuuri for our fourth, technically fifth, year together. I had never imagined in a million years that one night could change literally everything for us, but then I realized that he was drunk, and probably didn't remember most of it.  
I decide I would ask him about it sometime, just to see what he says. I think it's amazing and I'm really excited about having kids, but I'm also a little scared. It seems like Yuuri is neutral with the feeling, but I honestly think he's going to enjoy it just as much, if not more than I. 

I walk back to our bedroom just in time to meet Yuuri there. I smile at him and quickly hold his cheek, just so I can look into his eyes. He smiles back at me and takes my hand, kissing it softly. Then putting it in his own hand, he talks quietly and calmly to me.  
"Viktor, I love you. . .And I couldn't ask for a better gift from you. . ."  
I smile, blushing ever so softly.  
"I should be saying that to you, my sweet Katsudon prince."  
"True. . .But. . .I love you anyway, and all I want is for us to have a happy family. . .Just like you want. . ."  
"Yeah. . .Well it's only October for now, so. . .We still have to wait, huh?"  
"Of course, but it'll be worth it in the end, right?"  
"Obviously. We'll have a child that looks like the most beautiful man in the world!"  
"Oh, yeah true. It will look like you."  
"No. I meant you, dearest."  
"Too bad. I'm not that beautiful."  
"Are too."  
"Not."  
"Too."  
"Not!"  
We both start to giggle and hug each other, smiling. Soon enough, my love is finally quiet and probably dreaming about me.  
What am I talking about? Of course he's dreaming about me! What else would he dream of?

 

~

 

In the morning, me and Yuuri get woken up by Yuuri's phone going off. Yuuri sits up and looks around for his glasses and can't find them, so he just hands the phone to me.  
As I was trying to wake up, I didn't even bother trying to look at who was calling, so I answered the phone and heard a familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello, Pichit."  
"Morning Viktor! Where's Yuuri? Is he awake yet?"  
"No, it's 9:30 he usually isn't awake yet. He's still sleeping. . ." I yawn softly, cuddling up to Yuuri again, still listening to Pichit.  
"Oh. . .Did I wake you?"  
"Sort of, but it's alright. Is there something you need?"  
"Yeah, I wanted to call to tell you I'll be in Moscow by tomorrow morning, and that you should be prepared to pick me up. I guess it could've waited, but I just couldn't help it. . . I got so excited to tell Yuuri!"  
I laugh a little bit, still sounding tired I assume. I kiss behind Yuuri's ear and sigh softly. "It's alright, he would be happy to hear that. I'll let him know later, and I'll set a reminder for it somewhere. He needs sleep now though, so maybe--" I yawn again, trying not to fall back to sleep. "--maybe he should stay in bed for now. . ."  
"Okay, Vii-Chan. You sound tired, so you go on and get some sleep again, alright? I'll see you tomorrow!"  
"Mhm. . .I love you too. . .Bye. ." I unconsciously hang up after saying bye. Yuuri is snickering a little bit, trying to stay quiet and as usual, failing. I look at him then I realize what I did, my eyes go wide and I blush dark pink.  
"Yuuri! It's not funny!"  
"Of course it is. . ."  
"No it isn't! I just said 'I love you' to Pichit!" I whine as I blush more, poking him in the side.  
He breaks out laughing more, giggling and squirming at my touch, trying to push my hands away.  
"Viktor~! Stop it! That tickles!"  
I wrap my arms around him and kiss at his neck and face, making him giggle and squirm more.  
When we both calm down, I put my nose on his head, taking in his smell. He smells different, he smells a bit sweeter than normal and it makes me feel confused at first, then I guess that it has something to do with his hormones and stuff. 

I get up and go check on Otabek and Yurio and they seem to be still asleep, Yuri in Beka's arms, his head on his chest. I smirk and tell myself not to take a picture, or else I'd be murdered later on. I go into the kitchen and quietly start to make kasha, a traditional Russian breakfast that I'm sure Yuuri is used to by now. I don't hear him come downstairs, but he seems to be in the laundry room, doing laundry. Strange, he usually never does laundry on a Monday? I don't mind it at all, because it keeps him busy with something simple, and that means there is nothing for me to worry about. He comes into the kitchen and smiles, looking at me, putting a basket down by the table.  
"What are you doing?"  
"I could ask you the same."  
"You could, but it's pretty obvious what I'm doing?"  
"Same here? I'm folding laundry? What's so confusing about that? Can't I be in the same room as my husband?"  
"Well. . .Yeah, of course you can, goofy. But it's Monday?"  
He thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs, continuing our conversation.  
"You are going to a competition in France in the next week or so, right? So I can have Pichit stay here while you go. . .? And you'll have lots of clean laundry for the next few weeks. . ."  
"Yuuri, I want you to go with. I don't want to leave you at home, not with the circumstances that we have here. You already spent enough time alone, don't you think?"  
"Well, yeah. But I'd have. . .Pichit. . and maybe Yuri and Otabek?"  
"Yuuri, please, go with me. . .It'll be fun, and it is the city of love after all!"  
"Alright, alright. . .I will."  
"And it won't be for at least another two or three weeks, and it's the end of October. It'll be on the 12th of November. And we can spend some time down there for your birthday and all that if you really want to?"  
"That's almost a month, Viktor. I don't think we can stay that long. I have doctor's appointments planned, and everything I need is. . .Here, at home."  
I feel really disappointed, but I see his point and I agree with him. I tell him he doesn't have to go with me if he doesn't want that, then he blushes, tearing up a little, and I panic the slightest bit and watch him.  
"Y-Yuuri, please don't be upset! I want you to go, it's just. . .You're right! I-I'm sorry!"  
He sniffles and shakes his head, pouting, pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes.  
"No, I want to go with, but. . .I'm worried. . .That's a lot of stress for us both, and I don't want you to mess up because of me. . ."  
"Yuuri, knowing that you are here, alone, even if Pichit is here, makes me nervous. I wouldn't be able to be very graceful thinking that you might be getting hunted by the press, or maybe someone or something else. I would feel comfortable just knowing that you're safe on the sidelines, rather than where I cannot see you. And think of it this way, we can tell the world about our great news! Right?"

Yuuri gave me a look that said otherwise, but we're gonna have to see how he thinks when the time comes. After we eat breakfast with Beka and Yuri, we all sit around wondering what to do. Yuuri called back Pichit in that time and they giggled about earlier and I blush softly. After he talks to Pichit, he calls his Mother, and they have a long conversation in Japanese that I could barely understand. I understood enough to know he mentioned I was okay, and we weren't breaking up any time soon, and that he needed to tell her something important, then he went quiet for a little bit. He then looked at me, speaking in English now, that in the next few weeks, he was gonna bring them to Moscow, to see the new house and have a little housewarming party. I can't believe I didn't think of that!  
I got what he was saying almost immediately, and he had just agreed to saying it all out loud on television, for the world to hear. And he wanted to have all our friends here, so he could tell them, and see how they'd react. Hopefully not as bad as me. . .

I hope he was planning on leaving the whole 'thought we had a miscarriage' thing out, because our baby is just fine and we don't really need to explain ourselves there. Maybe his parents should know, but maybe not saying anything would be for the best.  
I smile and nod at him, letting him know it's okay that he's planning this and it's a fine idea. At the time he's planning this, it'll be right around his birthday, and just at the end of the fourth month. He's already at a happy, blossoming third month and he couldn't be any more beautiful in my opinion.  
He probably could, but I just can't imagine him getting any cuter, cause if he did, I might just die.


	13. Two Cities, One Month

[Yuuri's P.O.V. Back to the convo with Pichit]

I'm waiting for Viktor to come back downstairs and I'm playing on my phone, the dogs laying on me, I'm calm and don't have any worries, then it totally hits me like a truck that I don't think I ever called Pichit back and I start to freak out again. I look at Viktor who is suddenly in front of me, pulling the dogs off my stomach, and pulling me close to him, letting me relax into him. Just as he got comfortable, I stood up and sighed, walking into the kitchen. Viktor follows me and I give up trying to get privacy, because honestly he wouldn't care about what I say to Pichit. Just as Viktor touches my cheek, Pichit answers me and I get a bit excited.

"Pichit! I'm so, so sorry I never called you back! I totally forgot, Viktor and I--"  
He cuts me off, yelling excitedly into the phone.  
"Viktor is back?! And you're both okay?! Yuuri, you had me worried!"  
"Yes, Pichit I'm fine. . .Thanks to Viktor. In fact, there's something we need to talk about, face to face. Do you think you can get a flight out here soon?"  
"To St. Petersburg? Of course! But I'll need to take the flight to Moscow then go down to--"  
"O-Oh right, you don't know. . .We moved to Moscow, and it's something to do with what we need to talk about actually. The whole reason Viktor. . .Left. . ." I say quietly, feeling anxious.  
"Really? Wow! Cool, I can try to get a flight for sometime in the next two days or so?"  
"Yes, thank you Pichit! I'll make sure we have a room for you to stay in, and we can go out and talk and explore, but Viktor might follow along and all, but that isn't a big deal. . .Right?" I peek at Viktor, just to see his face. He seems worried. . .  
"Oh, no! Viktor can come along! I don't mind at all! It'll be like the year you won gold!"  
We talk for a little while longer, then we hang up and I look at Viktor again and he's rubbing my sides, which hurt quite a bit for some reason. He's also kissing my neck, which is making me melt in his arms because it's just that relaxing. I smile at him and take my hand up his chest, but it's soon interrupted by a knock on the door, which is probably Yuri and Otabek. 

~

Yesterday morning was the morning that Pichit called to say he was coming in to Moscow, so we are currently on our way to the airport, and because my gorgeous husband needs his 'beauty sleep' I'm driving. Today I decided to wear one of my kinda smaller shirts, and I think it was a stupid idea, because guess who's showing through? Pichit is sure to notice, but Viktor was too tired to even notice, and he's passed out cold beside me. I smile at him snoring softly and then he mumbles every now and then. I think about how Yuri and Otabek are, because we kinda left them at the house alone. Don't get me wrong, they know and they said they would get the place cleaned up so we don't have to worry about that, but I told them they didn't have to but then Otabek insisted they did, because it was pretty obvious that we had things planned and I couldn't do it alone, plus being gone for the next few weeks after Pichit leaves will be time that I won't be able to get things cleaned up for the party we're apparently having in a month or less. 

I turn on some music quietly, just so I don't wake my sleeping husband. I hum along to the song that's on the radio, I notice Viktor smile softly, and he wakes up hearing me sing a little, and I blush and stop singing. He giggles softly, then rubs my hand softly.  
"You sounded so good, Yuuri. . ."  
"N-No I didn't. . .It's just a song. . ."  
"But you did. And you know it."  
"Shush. . ."  
"Yuuri, you look so cute today. . ."  
"What is up with you today? You're acting so weird. . ."  
"I just love you so much. . . and you do, you look amazing today. I love that shirt on you. . ."  
"It's kinda. . .Tight, don't you think? It shows off too much."  
"Well, I think it's cute, because I can see our baby. . ." He says, sounding tired.  
"Exactly, someone is gonna notice. . ."  
"Isn't that what we want, kinda?" He says now sounding confused.  
"Well. . .I guess so, but I'm not technically ready for that yet. . .I just didn't think this all through this morning and now I'm kinda stressed about it. . ." I tell him shakily. He must hear how upset I am in my voice because he takes my hand and kisses it, making me feel better a little bit at a time. I relax, but I've just been so nervous about what everyone is gonna say that I let it all start getting to me, and now I'm having trouble keeping myself calm while driving. Viktor tells me to pull over and let him take the wheel, so I pull over to the side of the road, letting myself cry a moment, then I switch spots with him and he sighs, trying to get me to relax, he pulls me close and lets me listen to his heart beating, because he knows I have a habit of doing that when I'm really scared or upset. I guess it's all the stress I'm putting on myself with overthinking, but Viktor says it's probably just my hormones. I have a hard time believing him, but I guess it could be true. 

When we finally get to the airport, I feel really tired, and Viktor tells me I probably don't feel great because I keep getting up early, but I tell him I'm fine, that I don't think I'm sleepy, I'm just stressed out and weak right now. I didn't get breakfast this morning, and I feel sick now so I'm pretty glad I didn't eat or I'd be actually physically be sick.  
I squeeze Viktor's hand, telling him I love him and thanking him for getting us to the airport when I couldn't. I see Pichit and I wave him over, smiling now, because I guess I just needed to cry and get all my emotions out.  
Maybe Viktor was right, it's all mood swinging, but gosh is it annoying. . .

I sigh softly again, feeling that dragging feeling again, but then I smile seeing Pichit get in the car, he wraps his arms around me from the back seat and I giggle, blushing softly. Viktor smiles and hugs Pichit too, sharing a giggle as well. We start the half hour drive home and we talked with Pichit. Not about the stuff we really wanted to talk about, but. . . We were waiting until it was a good time, in the car wasn't exactly the right place to say it.  
When we finally got to the house, Pichit looked excited and said it was a beautiful house, but he asked why we needed a bigger house then the old one for, and that's when we started trying to explain it. 

"So, um. . .We can talk about this when we're inside. . .Alright?" I tell him, taking his bags.  
Viktor grabs them for me and hands me my keys, which would've been in the car. I use them to unlock the door and I call out for Yuri and Otabek, who seem to be doing stuff in the kitchen right now. I go find them and smile, just to let them know we're home, and they continue to clean up stuff. They surprisingly got a lot done while we were out.  
I lead Pichit up to the guest bedroom, which is next to the nursery, of which the door is closed. Pichit sits on the bed and looks at me, like he's trying to figure out what's so different about me. I sigh and let him think about it, waiting for the question. . .

"Yuuri, did you do something different? You look. . .Strangely different."  
"I know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about actually. . .That day you called, right after Viktor left. . .Well I told him something and he came here, to Moscow to get us a new place to stay, a safe place for a family. . ."  
"Right. . .So. . .He bought this so you could have more space, so Yuri and Otabek could stay?"  
"Well. . .Not exactly. He went missing for two weeks, because I didn't answer my phone I didn't notice that he had actually called me a bunch of times to tell me that he was okay, that he just was. . .Doing stuff. Well. . ." I stand up, holding myself carefully, I motion for him to follow me and he gets up and goes to the closed door with me, I open the door slowly and carefully to show him the place Viktor had only spent two weeks fixing for us. He had the same look on his face as I did, along with Yuri and Otabek when we showed them the room.  
Pichit quickly turns to me, mouth gaping like he doesn't know what to say.  
"Yuuri, you didn't tell me you were going to adopt a baby! I can't wait!"  
"Well. . .That's the thing. . ."  
"What thing? When are you gonna adopt! You can't back out of this now! You're only 26 once! Having a child in your life will be so much fun! So come on, tell me when he or she is coming!"  
"Well. . .We didn't get to pick that really. . .They're on their way, and they should be here in late April. . .Me and Viktor are her biological parents, Pichit. . ."  
He stops and looks at me confusedly, but he thinks about it then his jaw drops again and he looks down at the little bump I have.

"Oh. My. God. Yuuri!"  
I started to tear up, feeling nervous, but just as I start to cry, Pichit hugs me tightly and laughs, smiling brightly.

"W-wait, you aren't mad!?"  
"No way! Why would I be?! I'm gonna be an Uncle soon! I can't believe you didn't let me know Yuuri! I wish you would've I could've been there with you and everything when Viktor disappeared!"  
Just then, as his name was spoken, he appeared, holding me close, seeing as I was crying a little more.  
"Yuuri, are you okay?"  
I look at him, shaking like a little leaf, nodding softly. I wanna fall over and have a panic attack, but that's a normal thing with me. I tell Pichit he can't say anything until we openly announce it to the world, and he agreed with me, and Viktor took me to bed so I could lay down for a while, because I was obviously pushing it with the stressing. Pichit tells me he'd do anything I needed. I told him he didn't have to, but he insisted that I let him. So I do, and he doesn't mind at all. 

~

After having a lovely conversation with Pichit yesterday, we decided that we could walk around Moscow, but Viktor said that it's too much for my body to handle, and Pichit instantly agreed with him, so we drove to the mall and we're walking all over, Pichit insists that we should go shopping for 'little human clothing' just so we're prepared, but I told him I don't even know the gender, and I don't think an infant could fit into clothes anyway, but he told me there had to be clothes for newborn babies.  
Viktor came along with Yuri and Otabek, and he smiles and gives me a look that says 'yes please Yuuri, we have to!' and I sigh, giving in. We spent about four plus hours looking at clothes, and we got boy and girl things, we even got some little socks and stuff for them, then I realized when Viktor showed me a little dress that I never checked in with the doctor, because I'm getting to the point where she should be able to tell the gender, so I will have to make a note to find out soon.  
I tell Viktor that we can come back once we know the gender. He holds me close and touches a hand to my bump gently, and I notice it's actually gotten bigger since last week, but not by much. 

~

After we took Pichit to the airport, me and Viktor had to go home and pack up for a week or so in France. I see myself in the mirror on our dresser and I look at myself, wondering how I can hide my bump by now. I'm at the four and a half mark and it isn't too hard to miss honestly. I talked to Viktor about what we should do about this situation, but he said we should leave it be, and if I really wanted to hide it that much, then we can have me wear a big fluffy sweatshirt. Unfortunately I don't have one that might work, but he gives me his red and white one that says 'Russia' on it. I put it on and it hides it a bit, but still shows off a little, which is what I think Viktor wants. I live with it and tell him it's perfect, and that we should get our stuff together and get ready to go. We decided to leave the pups with Yuri and Beka, because they basically live here, and the dogs love them both just the same as me and Viktor. 

We get to the airport about a day later, and I feel tired, but very excited about being with Viktor this time around. I think everyone will be surprised to see me there, and especially with the way I currently look. I'll be surprised if no one reacts badly, honestly. I know at least one of my friends will freak out or something, but I know if I say it to Viktor he'd just say that it's my anxiety and that I'm worrying too much and I need to chill out for a while. . .  
I do not. I need to figure out what to do in case of an emergency, because I've finally learned the pattern here, that when everything seems all good and stuff, it suddenly goes bad, but it'll back to happiness and joy and rainbows and things like that. I get overly nervous about things like this because it isn't exactly a normal thing for men to get pregnant like me, who just so happens to have female reproductive organs. I look at Viktor, who is standing beside me at a security gate, we both get on the plane and I start to think of things that I normally don't think about on an airplane like what if my little angel gets hurt? What if the plane crashes and we have no way to survive? What if something happens to Viktor and I have to-- No! Too far with that thought! No no no no no! God I can't stop thinking and stressing myself out, this isn't good! I need--  
"Yuuri?" Viktor takes my hand firmly seeing as I'm kinda freaking out here. I calm down at his touch, but it still isn't enough, I'm trembling and trying not to cry from the thoughts that are passing through my head.

"Yuuri. I can see you freaking out, that means you must have something on your mind, care to share?" He smiles sweetly, trying to get me to talk to him, I take a breath and feel all sorts of pain rush through my abdomen, causing me to wince, making Viktor worry.  
"Yuuri, talk to me, what's going on?"  
I whimper and finally answer him, holding myself just to stay calm.  
"I-I'm freaking out. . .What if something happens? What if the world decides to shut me out and put me and you down for having this baby? What happens if they don't accept it?"  
"Yuuri, you're overthinking this all, okay? Obviously they wouldn't shut you out or put us down for that. It isn't going to end my career, and hopefully not yours either. If they don't accept it, I will make them! I promise you I won't let the world, or anything else hurt my husband and my family. And that is final."  
"You sound like such a dad. . ." I say quietly, smiling the slightest bit through my tears. 

Suddenly a girl approaches me and Viktor, and he seems to go from protective dad, to friendly famous super-skater celebrity, who offers a commemorative photo every chance he can.  
"You're Viktor Nikiforov, right? And this is your husband Yuuri Katsuki?" She says, looking very excited.  
"That's right, that would be us."  
"Oh, wow! That's amazing that I got this flight with you. I was just heading to France for the competition, does that mean you're both going to be in it? Doing a pair skate I would assume!"  
"Actually, no. I will be in the competition, Yuuri however, will not be in it this time. He's dropped out for the season on a medical leave. He's--"  
"Very sick, and stressed. . .and very weak currently. In fact I'm pretty sure I just felt something die inside of me, just a little. . ." I say acting nervous, Viktor looks at me concerned and scared, with a little hint of 'better not have' in his eyes.  
"Yuuri, you know you shouldn't make jokes after what happened."  
"I-It wasn't really a joke, but yes, I realize that."  
"Wait, Yuuri. . .Are you. . .Pregnant?" the girl's eyes glisten with curiosity, she looks excited by the thought, but she's holding it all in and I freeze up upon hearing her say it.  
"Yes, he is! Isn't that wonderful! He's having my beautiful Yuuri-Spawn! They'll have his eyes and everything it'll be my Katsudon baby!" Viktor goes on and on about it, and so does this girl, she's ironically sitting next to Viktor, so they can talk about it the whole way there, meanwhile I will be dying from the inside out with embarrassment and stress.

I sit on the plane uncomfortably until it gets to a point that I start to squirm in my seat, Viktor holds my hand, but it's uncomfortable and I pull my hand away. It's only November and I have to deal with this until April? This won't go very well, I can assume. Viktor looks at me like he doesn't know what to do, he sighs and rubs my back, trying to help, but it just isn't. I'm starting to have another panic attack, and I need to get off the plane soon or nothing will end well for me.  
"Viktor, how close are we to getting off the plane?"  
"Why, is something wrong?"  
"Y-yes! I'm having a panic attack! Can't you tell!" I say while being all fidgety, breathing kind of heavily, and starting to sweat. He sees me shaking and he pulls me close, kissing me as long as he possibly can, just to relax me for the next ten or so minutes.  
"Is that any better?" He asks curiously.  
I nod, not being able to move otherwise, I sigh and sit back in my seat and I feel better, because I now remember that my husband is here, and I don't have to hide my love for him, but I do have to hide his baby. . .Just for a little longer. 

I put my earphones on, trying to relax more and ignore everything around me, but I start feeling something touch me, I hold myself and it stops, but when my hand goes away from the area where it was, it happens again! I touch that spot again, but then it moves to a different area, I look down expecting to see Viktor's hands on me, but he's turned around to that girl, absorbed into a conversation. I hold back on freaking out, but it slips out a little, and Viktor notices when I make a noise. He turns around and looks nervous, like me, and then he asks as usual: "What's wrong, Yuuri?"  
"I-I feel something touching me. . .L-like. . .I thought it was you, but it obviously isn't. . ."  
"You should unzip that jacket, you look red in the face, and you're sweating pretty badly. You're gonna overheat yourself. Maybe it's that?"  
"N-no, I actually feel something moving. . ." I listen to him and unzip the jacket but I blush when I see a little hand or something move across my stomach. I nearly stop breathing for a moment, and Viktor and that girl, who I learned is named Melody, gasp and smile at each other, like they know exactly what's up.  
"Yuuri, how far in are you, again?"  
"Four and a half months? Is that what you mean?"  
"Yes, exactly. Thank you."  
"So do you know what that is?!"  
"Yes, actually I do! It's the baby! Our Baby Katsudon is kicking!"  
I feel the color draining from my body, I never thought about that. I feel stupid, and I begin to feel tired, and I guess I passed out at some point because Viktor was shaking me awake gently a while later saying we were finally in France. I groaned and pouted, looking at him through teary just-waking-up eyes, he smiled and told me that he might've taken pictures while I was asleep. I sighed softly and nodded, accepting that he would want to keep them forever, even if he forgot he had them. I got up and got off the plane with him holding my hand, his suitcase's handle in the other. I tried to keep our hands close to my belly, just because I like to leave my hand close to protect it, just in case. Viktor smiles and looks at me, then the bump, then back in front of him. I get confused about what just happened, so I make a noise letting him know I saw, and am now curious about his thoughts.

 

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing Yuuri. I was just thinking. . ."  
"About? I wanna know, Vicky. . ."  
"Vicky? That's new. . ."  
"Stop avoiding my question!"  
"Right, sorry. Well, I was thinking about when we get to the hotel. . ."  
"Viktor!" I squeak out as I turn red "We can't do that for obvious reasons!"  
"I didn't mean it like that, but if that's what you want. . ."  
"No! No no no! Viktor! If that isn't what you were thinking then what were you thinking?!"  
"I was thinking. . .hm. . Well I could maybe spend some time snuggled up to you, relaxing before we go to dinner?"  
"J-just snuggles? Nothing more, then right?"  
"No, but I do wanna talk to my beautiful babies."  
"Babies? We're having one, and you know it. . ."  
"I mean you and them. . .Because you're my baby Katsudon Prince. . ."  
I blush feeling a little kick at the thought of him being cuddly with me, but then as I think about him snuggling a little baby I tear up and stop moving, which causes him to walk ahead tugging my arm softly and stop walking, looking at me concerned like something is wrong. He quickly hugs me tightly, bringing his face close to mine and whispering softly that 'it's okay' and kissing my head gently, trying to stop me from crying. I take his hand and gasp and tell him I think he's beautiful, and he just giggles and holds me close, telling me to keep walking, or we'd never get to the hotel and have time to snuggle and be alone together.

When we got to the hotel, Viktor picked me up bridal style and planted a kiss right on my forehead, giggling. I hold onto him tight and tell him he's so strong to be holding me up like this, and he then places me on the bed, crawling between my legs, putting his chin on my belly. I look at him, my glasses getting all foggy from the embarrassment. He smiles at me and kisses my stomach, running a hand over it, looking sleepy.  
"You look so beautiful holding my baby, Yuuri. I wish you didn't have to suffer as much as I've made you so far. . ."  
"You haven't made me suffer, Viktor. . .I promise you. . .I love you, and that will be that last thing I say when I take my last breath. I mean it, I will never not love you."  
He smiles and sighs, kissing my belly again. I sigh at him and smile softly.  
"Let's not think of that right now. . .We're so young, Yuuri."  
"I know, I won't talk about that. . ."  
"Thank you. . . So, should we maybe discuss names for little one?"  
"Nope. It'll happen when we see their cute tiny face, and who they look more like. In the mean time we can call them Baby Katsudon, or Katsuki or Nikiforov. "  
"Aww, baby Katsudon Katsuki. . .So cute!"  
"I've just been calling them our sun-bean. . .Just because they've brought so much happiness into our lives." I say quietly as I push some hair out of my husband's face.  
"I'm so sleepy, Yuuri. . . "  
"I'm kinda cold, to be honest. If I warm up, I'd get sleepy. . ." I see Viktor's head move a little bit and I know what I felt, and I blush dark pink, tearing up, smiling at Viktor.  
"Did you feel that, Viktor?"  
"I sure did, Yuuri. That was our baby telling us to pay attention to them!"  
I giggle and take his hand tightly in mine, telling him that we should talk to the tiny baby, just to see if it understands. He nods softly, thinking about it for a moment, then putting his ear to my stomach and listening, as if he would get a response.  
"Hello, Sun-bean! It's your papa speaking. . .I want you to keep Mama safe tomorrow during the show, okay?" He says and I feel a little kick in response. Viktor pokes where the kick was, giggling and smiling wide. I sit up a little bit, just so I can see without having the blood rush to my head or anything. I feel a little nervous that we're going to be announcing the pregnancy to the world tomorrow, but I think it'll be worth it in the end, just because it won't need to be a secret anymore.  
"Viktor, I think it's time for a nap. . .Yuuri and little sunshine are tired. . ."  
"You're tired now? But they've only just began to get active!"  
I sigh, smiling, running a hand over my bump and onto his face, then through his hair.  
"Okay, but only a little longer because I'm feeling the jet-lag now. . ."  
"Don't you get that when you get home from a vacation?"  
". . .I'm still tired Viktor. . "  
He giggles, and it makes me giggle as well, and we talk for a little longer until we fall asleep.

By about four-thirty I wake up and sigh, still feeling a little tired, but I assume it's just because I'm waking up slowly. I hold myself and yawn, looking over at Viktor.  
He looks cute when he sleeps because he likes to hold my hand close to his face, just for comfort, knowing I'm still there. He tends to be unable to sleep when I'm not close by, he calls me sometimes in the middle of the night when he's out of town.  
I swear there have been a few times he calls me crying, and talks to me until we both fall asleep on the phone. I ask him if he does cry when he misses me, and he said no, he just feels lonely and feels like things are too quiet, and they just aren't the same without me by his side. Maybe this whole thing with me coming with was all because he's tired of it, and didn't want me to stay home with Pichit and Yuri, and he had an excuse to get me to go now.  
I smile to myself thinking my husband is a clever boy. He makes a noise and hugs my arm, making it hard for me to get my glasses on and do things I need to do before dinner, but I let him because I'd hate to wake him up and not let him sleep, when I know he needs it. 

I start to think about how things are gonna change in the future, and how much Viktor will really be able to handle. I sigh and bite my lip a little, thinking about how happy Viktor is now that we know we're having a baby. I then begin to think of how much work a child is, and I start to make my heart beat faster, and I'm only slightly panicking right now. 

"Yuuri. . ." Viktor mumbles behind closed eyes.  
I jump at hearing his voice, but then I look at him and he's still asleep. Was I hearing things?  
"Yuuri, you're freaking out too much. . .I can practically hear your heart beating out of your chest. . ."  
"How can you tell at all that I am?"  
"I can feel the pulse in your wrist, I can hear your breathing pattern, and I can also feel you twitching a little. Stop worrying about everything. . ."  
"S-sorry. . .Just. . . What if we aren't good parents?"  
"That's what all parents say before they become parents, Yuuri. You'll be an amazing Dad. . ."  
"Promise?"  
"I Promise."

 

~

 

It's about twenty after one and Viktor dragged me along to practice today for the competition later, because he wasn't planning on stopping at the hotel at all today, but he wanted to take me out to dinner, so he has nice clothes packed for later. I yawned softly, excited that I can see him skating, and that our friends might be here a bit later, but I get anxious when I feel movement from the baby and then I remember that I'm pregnant and most of our friends don't have a clue. I see Viktor skate over to the side of the rink and he calls my name softly, and I look at him then go over to him.  
"Yuuri, if you want to go back to the hotel and sleep, you can silly!"  
"What?"  
"You look like you're about to pass out! Did you get any sleep last night?"  
"I did, just. . ."  
"They kept you up too, huh?"  
"What? Who? Viktor, you're creeping me out. . ."  
"Baby Katsu!"  
"Is that what we're calling them now? Katsu?"  
"Well, I mean we don't know genders. . ."  
"No, we don't. . .You're right."  
I look him in the eyes and sigh, he leans down and kisses me, and I touch his face and kiss him back. I smile softly, realizing we haven't fought at all recently, to my knowledge. It makes me happy knowing that we aren't having one of those days that we just don't talk to each other because we're mad, or I don't want him around.

I smirk and look at Viktor, staring into his beautiful neon eyes, which makes me blush. I feel a little bit of a tingle in my chest from being happy, but then I giggle and Viktor asks whats up.  
"Nothing, nothing. . .Just, you. . ."  
"Me? What? Why, am I funny?"  
"No, you're just so cute. . .I love how excited you are to have a child. . ."  
"Well, I mean. . .It's really soon for us still, but. . .Now or never, right?"  
"I guess so. I love you Viktor. . .I just. . .I just wanna spend time with you right now, but you need to practice. . .So I will stay out of the way, alright?"  
"Okay, well. . .We can spend all of tonight together after the show? And if you're okay with staying here. You aren't cold?"  
"No, silly. I've got your jacket. . ."  
"Right. I forgot I have yours on, it's so comfy. . ."  
"Well, yours fits me better right now. . ."  
"Alright, anyway. . .One more thing before I go back to the ice. . ."  
"What's that?"  
He leans over the side and kisses me, making me smile and giggle more. I feel our baby roll over and kick, then I laugh and let him go back to practice.

 

~

 

After the show, Viktor takes my hand and leads me to the door, and we almost make it, but then some of these interviewers stop us and hold mics to mine and Viktor's faces, asking questions about the controversial fight we had a few months ago, that wasn't really a fight. 

"Listen, Yuuri and I are not getting a divorce, in fact we've been working on something much more. . .Complicated."  
"Please tell us what you mean by 'complicated' Mr. Nikiforov!" one of them shouts.  
I feel my whole body tense up, and he takes my hand in his, calming me down just a little bit.  
"It's Nikiforov-Katsuki, if I may ask you to call me that. And I think it's Yuuri's choice right now if he wants to tell the world what's going on."  
A few more of them put microphones to my face and start throwing out questions at a hundred miles a minute. Viktor pushes me forwards and keeps heading for the door, meanwhile I'm praying it isn't too obvious. I look at Viktor and turn back around, going back towards the rink itself, and Viktor grabs my arm and follows, stressed out about what I'm doing, I pull him into the bathroom and lock the door, shaking softly.  
"Viktor, we need to tell our friends at least! We said we were going to tell, didn't we? It's already a little hard to be able to hide. . .This!" I hold myself, feeling sick. Viktor puts a hand on my cheek and rubs his thumb across it. I look at him like I have never felt this way before, I pull his hand away and vomit into the sink, closing my eyes because I'm dizzy.  
"Yuuri, if it's what you want, I'll go talk to them and tell them. You get out to the car, and I will talk to the press. Okay?"  
I nod at him, and he kisses my head, unlocking and leaving the bathroom swiftly. I stay and calm my nerves for just a little longer.


	14. My Love, Our Love

[Viktor's P.O.V] (God I'm so sorry for the shitty titles guys, please bare with me. . .)

I walked out of the bathroom in order to distract the press from Yuuri, letting him get out and to the car, or at least with our friends for safety. Almost immediately I've got microphones in my face, and a thousand questions being thrown at me.  
"What is it that you and Yuuri Katsuki are hiding from the world? They want to know!"  
"Who's idea was it to move to Moscow, and what was with the sudden fight you had a few months back?"  
"What do you and Yuuri feel about you winning yet another gold medal?"  
"Why did Mr. Katsuki quit this year? Is it because he doesn't want to compete against you for fear your relationship might fall apart?"

I stop them from speaking as soon as I open my mouth. I lead them away from the bathroom, taking them outside, away from our rental car making it safe for Yuuri.  
"Me and Yuuri have been working on a big project. Our new home is because of this little incident, and no it will not be ruining our marriage anytime soon. Yuuri quit competing this year because he's on a medical leave for the next seven months."  
Immediate responses.  
"Is it because he hurt himself during a practice, or because he got silver at last year's competition, and he's retiring for real this time?"  
"What is the cause of his medical leave?"  
"Can you tell us more about why Katsuki left?"  
Again, as I open my mouth, people go quiet, letting me speak.  
"Yuuri and I are currently trying to get situated in a new house, he wanted to get used to this, because it is quite a bit of stress. Our new home address will not be disclosed due to privacy issues, because of the last few months have gotten out of hand with--"  
Just then, I hear the sound of a familiar voice calling for me, sounding worried, I quickly rush past the mob of people asking questions, letting them know that the interview was officially over.

I run over to Yuuri, holding his hand, feeling him shake. There are people from the press following him, and people from our fan-base trying to snap pictures and steal his things. I grab his arm and pull him close, kissing him, just so the fan-girls can go wild and have some nice pictures of me claiming what's mine. I notice a few others were stopped to answer some questions, and I decided that it was time to leave for me and Yuuri, they can get the attention. Once we're both in the car, I hold Yuuri's hand, frowning.  
"Are you okay? You sounded very scared, Yuuri, did something happen?"  
"Aside from nearly dying, myself, our baby almost got hurt! And I think someone ripped your jacket. . ." He goes on about how stressed out he is, and I grab his collar and yank him into a sweet kiss, feeling worried about how much stress he's putting on our little Katsu-chan. When he pulls off the kiss, he looks at me, shocked.  
"Viktor, that was the best kiss I've ever had. . .Besides the one at our wedding. . ."  
"Really? Should I kiss you like that more often, or. . .?"  
He stays quiet thinking about what just happened. I drive back to our hotel, hoping no one is waiting there for us. I half expect there to be rabid fans trying to keep, and or kill our unborn baby.

When we pull up to the hotel, it seems like no one is there, so we go inside and head to our room, just before I close the door, it's stopped by one of our fellow skater friends.  
"Christophe Giacometti! I can't believe you're here!" I say excitedly.  
"Yes, hello Viktor, Yuuri. May I come in and have a chat? I've already heard the great news when I last talked to Pichit." He smiles and says softly.  
I let him inside and warn Yuuri that Chris is here, and he nods, looking absolutely exhausted. My poor Yuuri.  
"Yuuri, I'm so proud that you and Viktor have finally conceived a child together. Pichit told us all about how you can have children, and everyone started to wonder when you'd come out and say it. Pichit doesn't have any clue does he?"  
"He does, actually, we saw him just last week, and he promised not to tell until we were ready."  
"I see. Well it's really quite something, with you. I'm surprised you haven't tried sooner, to be honest."  
"I was actually quite worried when Yuuri came home that day. We didn't fight, it just seems like we did to those story-deprived press reporters. I was so excited and happy, but now Yuuri doesn't think we're ready. . .I think that's partially why."  
"Actually, I never thought we were. I still don't. I'm in constant fear that we are going to be the worst parents ev--" he suddenly gasps and sits completely still, he has his hand over his mouth, the other on his stomach.  
"Kicking again?" I ask. He shakes his head and I get worried a little.  
"I think it's head is moving, but I can't tell, and this is stressing me out, and I don't want a repeat of what happened two months ago."  
"What happened two months ago? How far along is Yuuri?" Chris asks.  
"That isn't important right now, I just want Yuuri to relax."  
I stop for a moment then go over to Yuuri and kiss his head a bunch before having him lay on his side, he looks miserable, and in pain. I start to rub his sides and Chris looks confused, but understanding. He seems calm now, but I feel worried because if that is what happened before, we might not come out so lucky this time.

~

Finally, we're back in Moscow after two weeks, and the first doctor's visit we have is the same day. Yuuri has been feeling discomfort since Saturday night, he says it's definitely not a comfortable feeling when he doesn't know what it is, but the doctor explains it as the baby shifting, but not rolling just yet. It means the baby is moving in Yuuri's belly, but not getting ready to be born any time soon. I feel intrigued by this and I decide I would like to learn what I can so we don't keep running into problems like this, and Yuuri doesn't have to worry anymore. I will become Super-Dad Nikiforov! I am gonna fly in and save Yuuri and my baby!  
However, in the little bit of time before I do any research, Yuuri and I need to set up for a party with all our friends, and his family.

I ended up calling Yuri and Otabek to make sure they knew, then I called about four or so people, including Chris and Pichit. I got right to doing work once we were home, while Yuuri was texting Pichit, talking about the party I assume. I'm busy doing laundry and dishes when I hear Yuuri call me, sounding nervous or excited, I couldn't really tell. I rush to his side and see him looking at the T.V.  
I stare for a moment before I even realize what's going on, and what has his attention. The news channels are all talking about our baby announcement and I feel the urge to hug Yuuri, just so he doesn't freak out at all. I end up taking his hands and holding them firmly, telling him not to panic, that we're safe, and no one has to worry about what's gonna happen. I smile and kiss his head, then stroke his hair a little bit.  
"Viktor, can we take pictures and post them? I want our fans to see it come from us, not just the news that seems like it's lying. . ."  
"Wait, what? You were so nervous and didn't want to even say anything the other day, but suddenly you're so. . .Open about this?"  
"Yes, because it feels like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I wanna let everyone know. . ."  
"How about we wait, I have an idea, and don't let the reporters get near you, I'll keep them away, and everyone will think this is all some sort of joke, or some kind of conspiracy, and by next month, we can take Christmas pictures to let everyone know. I've got a special idea in mind!"  
"You always do, don't you? Well, I don't see why not. You've convinced me. . ."  
"You're just too tired to say no, huh?"  
"Mhm. . .It's hard work to make and carry a baby. . ."  
"Well. . .We didn't plan for one now did we?"  
"Viktor! Don't say that, they can probably hear you. . ."  
"I didn't say I didn't want them, I do! I love them very much, they're mine, I've made them with my husband, and they will be a beautiful son or daughter."  
"Viktor, you know you don't have to make that all up to make me happy. I want the truth."  
I frown at him, he's suddenly in a bad mood now, and it's stressing me out because he doesn't usually get angry with me, but when he does. . .

"Yuuri, you know I would never make something like that up, I love you and them! Please believe me! I love you both, so, so much!"  
He frowns at me, his eyes sparkling with tears.  
"Viktor, I know what you're thinking, I know you don't want this baby. . ."  
"Yuuri, you're overreacting a little, don't you think? All I said was we weren't prepared enough for a baby, and we kind of created one on accident! We were drunk, we didn't know any better, our minds were so foggy!"  
I see him start to cry in anger, he doesn't look at me, but I can feel his heart breaking. I feel awful, and I go to hug him gently, trying to make him feel better, but he slaps my arms away.  
"You don't want them, you don't get to touch them."  
"Yuuri, seriously?"  
"Yes, seriously! You're such a jerk! I couldn't be more angry with you!"  
I feel pain starting in my head, I try my best to hug Yuuri, but he pushes me away and tells me to leave him alone, he was mad.  
I know it's his hormones fault, but honestly, I can't deal with that for another three months.

Later that night, after I got things cleaned up, and everything else was taken care of for tonight, we both go to bed. At some point during the night, though, I woke up, unable to sleep, and I glanced over to where Yuuri usually is and he seems to be asleep, I go to cuddle up to him and get a tongue to the face, which I realize is Makkachin and Scruffy laying on each other, which can only mean one thing: Yuuri is not in the room.  
I get up immediately after I realize he isn't next to me, I get up and run to the door, looking at the stairs, seeing a light on, wondering if Yuuri is okay. I walk downstairs to see Yuuri sitting on the couch, crying, clutching a pillow to his chest. I guess he doesn't notice me at first because when he sees me he cries harder and whines, trying to talk to me.  
"Yuuri. . .I can't understand you when you talk like that, you're so quiet, and too upset. . .Just take a deep breath, okay?"  
He does as I say, then says it again, slower and more calmly.  
"Viktor, I'm so sorry I yelled at you, I feel awful, I dunno why I yelled at you, I couldn't help it. . ."  
"Yuuri, don't apologize, it's our little angel, making you feel things you don't want to. . ."  
He sobs again, looking at me, his cheeks all red and his eyes shining with glossy tears. He doesn't have his glasses on, so he looks even more noticeably miserable. I stay where I am, knowing if I try to hug him, he's only going to push me away. That is, unless he wants it, which is why I hug him. He holds his arms up to me, crying loudly, making the dogs poke their heads through the railing of the upstairs. I hold him close and whisper sweet things into his ear, he relaxes slowly, and shortly after that he falls asleep. I rub his belly and sigh, feeling bad about what I said earlier. Then I think back about how I've been messing up lately, saying things that don't sound like I would say. . .Like when I said this baby was from poor planning, not from the love we felt when we made it. I sigh, thinking about it, Yuuri makes a noise and I comfort him quietly, holding his hand, brushing his hair with my fingers softly.

When we wake up in the morning, or rather, when he does. . .We decide that today was meant to be a lazy day, and we both wanted to stay inside, everyone we knew wouldn't be coming until next week, and I've done what I can for us both, laundry, dishes, dusting, all the important stuff. Yuuri seems tired, but I feel dead, I didn't sleep at all, and I feel a headache coming on. He looked like he didn't sleep much either, but I know he slept at least a full half of a night. I hold him securely on the couch, he's laying on my chest, listening to my heart again, and he sounds like he's sniffling ever so softly.  
I yawn, then try to ask him what's on his mind, but he sighs and stays quiet. I agree with him, I feel like that too. . .  
"Viktor, you didn't go back to sleep, did you?"  
"No not really. . .I was upset with myself for saying such a terrible thing to you. . ."  
"That's the problem. . .What you said didn't mean anything, you just said we weren't prepared to have kids, and I took it way out of hand. . ."  
"No you didn't, Yuuri. You reacted how you reacted, and I can accept that."  
"Viktor, don't try to protect me and make me feel better, because I know you're hurt by that. You need to be firm with me and tell me that I was acting like an idiot. . ."  
"No, because you aren't an idiot, you're my husband. And Yuuri Katsuki does not act like an idiot, no matter the circumstance."  
"Viktor. . ."  
"Yes?"  
"You really. . .Really. . .Need sleep."  
"Yep. Your point?" I say while giving a big yawn.  
"I'd hope you'd get some soon?"  
"It won't happen, but sure, I'll tell you I will. . ."  
After we talk for a little bit, we both sigh, and lay on the couch for a while. Suddenly Yuuri gets up and walks away, leaving me cold and tired. I start to worry when it's really quiet, but I soon hear Yuuri doing things in the kitchen, he's probably making breakfast. I don't think about food because the thought doesn't seem too great to me as of now, but I soon start to get hungry from the smell in the kitchen. I get up and go to see Yuuri making some sort of Japanese breakfast and I smile softly, going over to him and wrapping my arms around him, letting my hands slide from his chest down to his bump, and I rub it a little, wanting to protect my tiny katsudon. I start to giggle when I think about it, because when I first met Yuuri, he said he gained weight easily, especially when he ate pork cutlet bowls, and calling our baby 'Katsudon' is just too perfect, Yuuri doesn't even realize.  
"What is so funny, Viktor? You're hysterical. . .It's worrying me."  
"Am I laughing that much?" I let out as I giggle even more.  
"Yes, it's seriously worrying me. . .And you're making it harder for me to make breakfast by holding me. . ."  
"Oh, sorry." I mumble as I continue to giggle.  
"Seriously, what is so hilarious to you?"  
"You know how when we first met, you weren't exactly in perfect shape? And you blamed it on Katsudon? Well. . .Now you've got a little belly, and it's because of Katsudon. . ." I snort and giggle some more, Yuuri looks un-amused, but I think it's adorable.  
When breakfast is ready Yuuri kisses my head and rubs my back, telling me to eat breakfast then go get sleep. I had a total energy crash right before breakfast, because I wasn't laughing anymore, I was fighting to stay awake. I looked at Yuuri's beautiful face and smiled softly, then passed out right on the kitchen table. About an hour or so later, Yuuri wakes me and tells me I should go lay on the couch or go to bed. I get up and hug him tightly, rubbing his back, kissing his head, then I sigh and pat his bump, leaving him to do whatever he wants.  
Of course though, he ends up following me and he sits on the couch, playing with my hair a little. He seems to have streaks on his face as if he'd been crying recently.  
"Yuuri, is everything okay?"  
"Yes, I'm fine Viktor, I'm worried about you right now. . . Get some sleep, okay?"  
"I'm not that tired right now. . .I see the lines from the tears, Yuuri, something isn't right. What's up?"  
"Hormones, stress, tiredness, anxiety. . .Must I go on?"  
"There's something else besides those. . .Did something happen while I was asleep?"  
"Well, I kinda took a quick nap on the couch. . .I woke up when I had a dream that you were sick, and then suddenly you were gone and I freaked out and woke up, then I came to find you, just to make sure you were still here. . ."  
"So you dreamed that I died?" I hug him tightly, feeling the pain he feels just imagining if I didn't have Yuuri.  
"Not really, it was more like you left, and I was alone with this strange person. . .They weren't any older than six, at least. . ."  
I nod my head in understanding, I rock side to side gently with Yuuri in my arms still, he calms down very quickly.  
"Viktor, where did you learn all these things about keeping someone calm?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're always comforting me when I'm stressed out and scared, you rock me, and rub my back and give me massages, but. . .Where did you learn all those things?"  
"Well, it isn't hard. . .?"  
"But a person doesn't just naturally do it, like you do. You do it at the first sign of stress and panicking."  
"I guess I do, don't I?" I put my finger to my chin thinking about it for a moment. "Huh. . .I guess I learnt it from my Mother. . ." I smile, remembering everything clearly from my childhood. It makes me feel happy, and just calm enough to drift to sleep. . .

~

Today is the party, everyone is coming over at about two or three, and Yuuri is nervous as always about it, he's kind of a mess in fact. I helped him relax this morning by massaging his sides and shoulders, and his back. He felt a bit tense, but I fixed him up. He's planning on having a casual party and I smile, thinking of making him wear something nice anyways, but I won't do that to him. He can wear one of my t-shirts and his favorite sweatpants if he wants to, I don't care, as long as he's happy.

The first ones to show up are of course Pichit, Yuri, and Beka. We let them inside and start talking with them, Yuuri is trying to get a few extra minutes (more like hours) to sleep, since he needs it and all. I go and tell him Pichit and the boys are here and he nods, looking like that same sleeping beauty I saw a few years back. It's funny how I remember things like this, but I can't even remember my name sometimes! Yuuri says I'm just a silly boy, Yurio says I'm a jackass. Yuuri actually hit him for saying that one time. I couldn't help but giggle, it was pretty funny seeing Yuuri be all protective of me.  
Yuuri got out of bed shortly to go say hi to everyone, but he looked more tired then he should've. He did only just get up though, so I can't blame him. . .  
I take Yuuri's hand and lead him downstairs, right away Pichit goes to him and hugs him tightly, telling about how excited he is to be an uncle and all that. Yuri and Beka say the same, just not in the same clearly excited way Pichit did. The next one to show up was Christophe, my good friend. The last one that needed to be there was Yuuri's mom, dad, and sister. We all talked while we waited, and I could tell Yuuri was getting antsy. Not only is he around his friends, he's almost six months pregnant and not exactly out about that, even though it's really obvious by now.

As the time passes, we finally hear the front door open in the other room, Yuuri gasps and stands up, I sit him back down and have him relax, and I go to see who's in the front foyer. I smile when I see Hiroko and Toshiya and Mari. I greet them with a bow, like Yuuri taught me, then I hug them and tell them Yuuri was waiting eagerly to see them, then I said he had something very important to tell them, and everyone else, and he would be saying it very soon.  
They thanked me and I brought their things up to the bedroom, giving Mari her own room so she didn't have to share.  
I had only forgotten one important thing. . .

I didn't close the door to the nursery.

~

I held Yuuri's hand as he walked upstairs, shaking softly, getting ready to show our friends and his family, although Chris and everyone already knew about this whole thing, Yuuri's parents didn't and they needed to know very soon.  
When we showed them the room they seemed confused at first, then they realized I hadn't let Yuuri just gain weight again, I accidentally knocked him up and the final result is going to be a happy family, hopefully. Hiroko looks at Yuuri and smiles, hugging him tightly.  
"Oh, Yuuri, I knew your gift would pay off eventually! Now we can have beautiful grand-babies with Viktor Nikiforov and our amazing son!"  
"Mama. . ." Yuuri says, blushing softly, looking at me. I smile and giggle a little, kissing his head gently. He holds her hands and kisses her head the same way I do to him. "Mama, I wanted to tell you sooner, me and Viktor didn't have a fight, he just really wanted to move us to a safe place so we can raise our children. . .He left unexpectedly, and he came back with something amazing."  
Children? I don't remember there being more than one, but hey, Yuuri says things he doesn't mean sometimes. . . ?  
After a while everyone kind of just relaxes and talks for a while, everyone asking Yuuri how he's been feeling and what it's like to be pregnant. He responds with something simple like 'It's sweet, but it's very strange' or 'I feel amazing sometimes, but other times I feel like complete trash' but one response made me feel like I could cry from hearing the strand of words together.  
"Viktor is such a big help honestly, if it weren't for him, I don't think I could ever make it through all this. He deals with me when I'm happy and laughing, or sad and crying, or mad and being stubborn. He's gonna be a great dad, in fact I think he's gonna be an amazing dad. And I couldn't have gotten a better Father for my child." He looks at me, tears in his eyes, he starts to giggle and everyone sort of starts clapping for me, but I stop them and smile a little.  
"Listen, everyone. . .Yes I am a help to Yuuri in some way, but honestly, for once I don't want to be the center of attention, I want Yuuri and our baby to be. He's doing so well with dealing with everything that he deserves to be, he should be told how much he's worth, to us and to our new baby. So on Yuuri's behalf, I'd like to toast to my beautiful, slow-growing family." I raise a glass of sake that I had gotten before, but hadn't really touched just so I could be sober enough to keep everything in good shape. Everyone else raises their glasses and I hear Yuri say something like 'what a shock, the old man doesn't want all eyes on him, but he's still the center of attention'  
I smirk it off and ignore it, but instead I hug and kiss Yuuri, who's in tears at this point.  
He mouths the words 'thank you, baby' to me.

I remember I started getting a little looser with my drinking , but I don't remember anything else quite past my fourth drink. I know I passed out at some point because here I am on the floor, waking up to see a very angry Yuuri standing over me, his hands on his hips and his glasses shining in the light of the early morning.  
Oh boy, I did something. . .

"Hi, Yuuri. . .Everything okay? Did you sleep well. . .?"  
"No, actually. I stayed up all night to make sure you were still breathing. I hope you're happy with yourself. You know you can't handle drinking, and you better not even dare to come home drunk when our baby is born. And I swear to you if you ever do something as stupid as drink three bottles of sake again--" He starts ranting on and on about how I drank lots, and he's mad at me because I did stupid stuff. Nothing that sounds too embarrassing. I hold my head and groan, asking for some water or bread or something to sober myself up more. He rolls his eyes and sighs at me. "Are you even listening? Jesus, Viktor you could've died from drinking so much!"  
"Yuuri, I get it. . .I'm sorry, you're right. I won't do it again. I promise you."  
"Good. . .Now get up, I want a hug. . ."  
"Why can't you just-- Oh. . .Right." I stand up and hug my lover, then I kneel down and kiss his belly softly whispering about how sorry I am and how bad I feel that I never even thought twice about what I was doing. I see Yuuri smile softly, but goes back to frowning as soon as I look up at him, his arms folded across his chest. He shushes me softly and points to the sleeping Otabek and Yuri on the couch and Pichit on the recliner. My in-laws are probably upstairs, and Yuuri obviously stayed in our room, but where would Chris be?  
"Where's Chris?"  
"In our bed, I sat on the couch watching you."  
"Oh that's right. . . You shouldn't have to worry about me, you know?"  
"That's right, I shouldn't, should I? But I do."  
"Sorry. . . I couldn't think straight, no one stopped me."

After a little while I sober up with a nice shower, then I go find Yuuri who is trying to sleep, but looks too stressed to even get past the whole 'laying down and relaxing' thing before sleep. I go to him and pout, kissing his head, feeling bad about how I acted. This is what he wants and he's gonna get it cause he knows what he's doing to me.  
"I'm sorry, my sweet, sweet katsudon Prince. . ."  
"I don't care, you already admitted your mistake, go sleep it off, Viktor. . ."  
"Are you mad at me?"  
"No, not really. . ."  
"Not really? Well, does that mean I can sleep with you? I feel really bad I kept you up all night."  
He agrees, but only because he doesn't wanna fight, or else he might actually make his head explode.

I put my arm around Yuuri's waist and sigh, pouting because I know he's mad at me. He looks at me and pouts back, holding his head like he's in pain. I feel something twitching and I realize it's Yuuri's leg, which worries me because he doesn't usually twitch unless he's having an anxiety attack.

"Yuuri, are you alright? You're starting to twitch and it's got me a bit concerned. . . ?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. . . I just. . .Feel stress setting in."  
"From me? Or something else?"  
"You. . .and other things among that."  
I feel my heart sink as I hear him say that, but I quickly force a smile and sigh, holding his hands.  
"But Yuuri, everything is gonna be okay, right? We're still gonna be a happy family in the end, and that makes some things seem good, right?"  
"Viktor, I'm thinking it's gonna be great, but I'm worried about the struggle of pushing it out. . ."  
"O-oh. . .Right."  
"What if something goes wrong? I mean, it can happen. . ."  
"Don't think about that. It's not even nearly time for that, so we shouldn't worry."  
"You're right, but. . .It's still gonna press it's way into my brain."  
"Just ignore it, push it back out with other thoughts."

After about a twenty minute discussion, I ended up on my phone, looking at all sorts of things about pregnancy, Yuuri was curled up at my side, reading along with me. We figured out that contractions are a type of muscular spasm (sort of) that help prepare the baby for birth.  
We also learned that real contractions will last up to thirty seconds at first, then go up slowly to sixty seconds, and they get a little more painful each time. I learned that the baby will sit with it's head toward Yuuri's heart, but as it gets close to being born it will 'roll' and push itself to put it's head down. I found that most women get epidurals, which is supposed to numb them from the waist down, but Yuuri seemed to freak out at that a little and said he didn't want that. I told him not to worry about anything because he still had about three months to go. It's only early December so far anyway, and we know the baby isn't due until April 26-ish.  
And soon it'll be time to tell more than just our friends.


	15. Merry Viksmas!

[Yuuri's P.O.V. Late December]

Finally, it's only a few days off of Viktor's birthday and he finally wants to tell everyone else, other than our friends about our tiny Nikisuki spawn. Wow, what a strange thing that name is. . .I really wish I knew the gender, but we have to wait because we wanted a surprise. It's the morning of December 22nd and I get up feeling amazing! I get up out of bed and kiss Viktor on the cheek and then go downstairs to make coffee and do some laundry for Viktor, because he's been running out of clothes to wear, and time to wash them. He didn't seem to move much when I kissed him this morning, but as I'm doing laundry he hugs me from behind and scares me just a little bit.  
"Hi, Viktor, you're up suddenly!"  
"Mhm. . .And you're up early. . .Why are you doing the laundry at four in the morning?"  
"Four in the-- No, it's like eight, isn't it?"  
"Are you one hundred percent sure you aren't on drugs?"  
"Viktor! Seriously, I looked at the clock this morning and it said like 8:30?"  
"You have never been more wrong. . ." he says with a big yawn.  
I push him and pull out my phone and show him it's eight o clock. He seems slightly shocked then he groans and tells me he's sorry. I get it cause he's tired, but he's just so ditsy in the morning. . .That makes me worry. . .

I have Viktor sit on the couch and wake up before he does something stupid, because let's face it, he might. I kiss his head and rub his cheek with my hand, moving his hair out of his face, which falls right back in it. I sigh and look at him, smiling softly.  
"Hi, Yuuri. . ." He says softly  
He puts a hand on my belly and smiles wide, feeling a soft kick, then a little push, and he giggles.  
"Yes, hello to you too, Katsu. . ."  
"Are we really keeping that name still?" I giggle, holding his hand, staring at our rings. He nods and I laugh softly, letting him have his fun. A bit later he asks me if I still want to be open about our baby, and I tell him yes, and I was wondering when he wanted to put his little idea into action. He said in two days, he had the best idea, but he wouldn't tell me, which made me a bit sad and slightly irritated, but it's okay as long as it's not some crazy idea. . .

~

Okay, now that it's Viktor's birthday I have to get up early and make him breakfast but I'm so tired today that I don't wanna get out of bed. Viktor will be asleep for the next three or more hours or so I don't have to worry too much, but I still don't wanna get up and that makes me feel bad. I sit up and feel all sorts of movement inside me, which makes me gasp a bit loudly. I sigh softly, feeling things slow down in there, and I get up and head downstairs.  
Once I'm there I think of Viktor's favorite breakfast and start to make it, I think I hear him getting up, but I'm not too sure, until I hear him fall onto the floor. I hear how hard it was, but he's probably fine if he hasn't moved yet. Sometimes when he sleeps he falls out of bed and usually he stays there. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten all worried about him and when I go see what's up he's on the ground sleeping or sitting up, rubbing his head in pain. I stopped worrying so much and let him be him, because there's no point in worrying about your dorky legendary skater husband if you know he's fine.  
But now thoughts pass through my head and I get nervous, so I run to him and check to make sure he's okay still, just because I'm way too worried.

"Viktor. . .?"  
I get a groan in response, which means he's fine, still asleep. No need for me to worry.  
I shiver and sigh, looking down at my feet, then I frown upon realizing that I'm currently unable to see them, but I know they're touching the cold hardwood floor that spreads all across our house, except the nursery of course. I rub my arms a little bit and go to get a pair of socks and a sweater. By the time I turn around, my husband stands at the side of the bed, looking exhausted.  
"Hey, honey-bear. . ."  
"Mm. . .Hi." He flops onto the bed, wrapping himself up in blankets again.  
"Happy birthday. . .I was making breakfast. . .And then you fell."  
"Mm...Mhm.."  
"Viktor, I've got a present for you if you want it right now. . .?" I speak to him gently because I know he isn't fully awake, but he seems to be listening closely.  
He sighs, then sits up, looking at me like a confused puppy. Speaking of, ours are both in my spot of the bed, so I can't really sit down right now. Viktor smiles at me seeing as I'm wearing a fluffy sweater and socks, then he sighs softly.  
"The floor is really cold this time of year, huh?"  
"Of course it is, it's like twenty-three degrees right now. . ."  
"Really? Huh. . .It's cold."  
"It's Christmas, love. . ."  
"That too. Hey, Yuuri. . .?"  
"Yes, Viktor?"  
"I love you. . ."  
"I know you do, I love you too, Viktor."

He smiles in response, and it makes me giggle. I don't have my glasses on at the moment because I was pulling the sweater over my head, but now I put them on and Viktor clears up, but then I look at his feet, which are on the cold floor.  
"Viktor?"  
"Mhm?"  
"The hardwood floor probably isn't safe for babies. . ."  
"You're probably right. . .But there isn't much we can do, is there?"  
"No, but we can always put rugs down to make it, you know. . .Softer?"  
"We can try to get the floors done instead, so we don't trip on them or whatever?"  
"That's expensive, isn't it?"  
"Not for us. . .We have quite a bit of money. . ."  
I remember suddenly that I was making breakfast and I feel a slight bit of a chill rush through my body and I go downstairs quickly. I hear Viktor follow me and he seems confused, but he doesn't say anything. He shivers softly because he's probably not wearing pants. I finish breakfast quickly and sigh softly, feeling better about our house not burning down. 

Viktor takes my hand and sighs, pulling me into a hug gently.  
"You're becoming a little forgetful, huh?"  
"Haven't I always been?"  
"Oh, yes that reminds me, speaking of being forgetful, do you want to take that picture now?"  
"But it's your birthday and it's Christmas and-- oh. I see now. . ."  
"You do?" He smirks and I blush dark red. 

It only takes about ten minutes or less for me to be put in a different sweater and have some bows on my stomach, along with a ribbon and a tag that says 'To: Viktor, From: Yuuri. Do not open until April!' I smirk and then look at him with a look that says 'really?' and he says  
"Yes, it will break the internet, and I've always wanted to break the internet!"  
"You did when you proposed, Viktor!"  
"Then, again! I want to again!"  
I sigh and giggle, he tells me what to do, he wants to get himself in the picture along with the tag and the bows and stuff. I feel silly doing this, but it's too cute to not to do it. He really did have a good idea, huh?

I take his hand and bend just a little bit so I can kiss his head. We ended up taking a few photos, and pick the best three to post online. It ended up being one with the bows and the ribbons, one where I was sitting in Viktor's lap, and he ended up making me giggle so it was a good shot, and the last one was me and Viktor in the same pose as on our wedding day, except Viktor had his ear against my bump, and he didn't have my hand in his with the ring in the other. Within moments of Viktor posting those pictures, there were already over a thousand likes and comments, Viktor's phone felt hot, and it froze up for a bit. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both sort of smiled and laughed. We knew our friends and families would be happy to see what's going on. It was nice because we had a dinner planned in Berlin, with Yuri and Otabek and Pichit. I know it seems like we spend a lot of time together, but to be completely honest, we don't see each other as often as we like. It's just because this time of year is really busy right now with all that's been happening. I am happy that we get to go spend about three days in Berlin with friends especially to celebrate Christmas and Viktor's birthday, but thinking about it now, it might be a nightmare. We just posted those pictures, and now we're going to be out in the open public area where anyone can do anything to us. I feel nervous, but then I realize that Viktor knows how to handle people, so he can easily get us out of trouble if need be. I think of how everyone might react to seeing me in public right now, and I get upset thinking about how it might not go as well as I hope. . .Viktor must have noticed this because he pulled me into a close hug on the couch and hummed softly as he looked through the comments. While Viktor giggles at our fans, I feel a tiny kick and a little rolling happening. I'm nearing my seventh month quickly and I am not as excited as I thought I'd be. 

Viktor says he's getting lots of messages that are asking about how long we've been trying to hide this, and he smiles and pleads with his eyes for a video of us, and I mean all of us. I sigh and nod softly, I lean over to kiss him and that's when he started the video. He kisses my belly then giggles and says that we've got only about three and a half months left, and I'm already at six months as of January first. He then snuggles up to me and gets my face in the shot, which makes me blush a shade of red I don't think I've ever turned. Viktor just giggles cutely and that's where it ended, I frown and take his hand gently. He takes it away to type on his keyboard, but I quickly grab it back and place it on the baby. He stops moving and looks up at me, his eyes glistening that beautiful blue that always shines brightest when I look into them. 

We felt the baby's hand rubbing on me, and it felt like they were waving and saying 'Hello, world. I'm the Katsuki-Nikiforov baby everyone has been waiting for!' and when Viktor looked his eyes teared up, he put his finger on the baby's hand and giggled, watching as it twitched and poked and moved. I was already in tears at this point, trying to stay calm I took a breath. Viktor took a picture or two and sighed contently.  
"Best birthday gift ever." He mumbled to our little angel.

~

We had a 7:30 P.M. flight to get to, and we were almost there. It's only 6:00 now, but we needed to get Beka and Yuri so we left an hour and a half earlier. I smile softly, thinking about all the things to do in Berlin, but I'm sure Viktor already has plans. Looking over at him I notice he's blushing softly, obviously thinking as he drives. I touch his hand to get his attention, he flinches and turns to me like something is wrong.  
"Hey, what's on your mind?"  
"Oh, just. . .Imagining what will happen in Berlin. Everyone knows about the baby and stuff too now. . ."  
"True. . .I don't think anything bad could happen, especially if you're there."  
"I mean, what if you. . .Never mind. It's stupid."  
"No it obviously isn't?"  
"Just, forget I said anything. . ."  
"Alright. . ."  
We went quiet after that and I just rubbed my belly softly, thinking about what Viktor could possibly be thinking of. I feel a soft push on my stomach and I sigh as I notice I suddenly have to pee very badly. I've been having this problem since the beginning of the month, because that's right around when the baby started moving around a lot more. I sigh and groan softly, Viktor looks at me panicking. Taking his hand and frowning a little I let him know what it is, and it's not labor pains. 

Me and Viktor have been trying to find things online about having kids, and apparently labor is going to be hell for us both. Fortunately for us, since this will be our first baby, labor shouldn't take longer than eighteen hours, but it will most likely only take about eight hours, maybe ten.  
We also read that in labor if my cervix (which is not technically my cervix) doesn't dilate fast enough, they might have to remove the baby via C-Section. It also sort of makes me nervous to think I might have to be slightly drugged up in order to have my baby, but I hope I can have a natural labor. It would be best for both the baby and Viktor, not to mention me, which would be the one worrying, and will probably be very tired as is. 

Although I have my worries about it, I don't seem as focused on that as I am on Viktor right now. I notice he's been waiting for me to respond to him, and he must've said something before I spaced out, but I shook my head and sighed, asking about what he said.  
"I said: Are you okay? You look like you're in pain?"  
"No, It's just the little one is kicking kinda hard. . ."  
"Really? Do I need to pull over somewhere?"  
"N-no, it's already 6:35, Viktor. . ."  
"Your point being?"  
"Just. . .Get Beka and Yuri, we're gonna miss the flight, I'm fine."  
"Right. . ."  
We go quiet after that, Viktor's hands on the wheel. He seems tense, so I grab his hand and hold it. He smiles a little after that, and I smile back, knowing I did okay with him and I wasn't making him feel incredibly terrible. 

 

~

 

When we got to the hotel in Berlin, we sat in bed for a little bit wondering what we should do first. I mentioned that we should meet back up with Yuri and Otabek and probably go find Pichit. Viktor said we can wait a little while and he closed the curtains, trying to get a little privacy, even though we were on the thirteenth floor. He came over and sat on the bed and kissed me, holding my hand, touching my cheek.  
"V-Viktor. . ." I whimpered out.  
"Yuuri. . ." He whispered back, putting my arms above my head, giggling as he kissed my neck. I gasp in surprise, and he smirks, knowing he's got me where he wants me.  
"W-what are you planning. . .?"  
"Hush, that's what."  
He rubs my chest and leaves his other hand to my side, he's laying beside me and smiling widely, he then kisses me again and runs a hand through my hair, making me giggle.  
"Yuuri, I don't get enough time alone with you. . ."  
"I know, but right now it's just so. . ."  
"Awkward, I know. But I just love you too much. . ."  
"V-Vikt--" I interrupt myself with a small moan from him biting at the soft spots on my neck. He smiles because he knows he got them right on the first try. We go on for a while kissing each other and biting at our necks and chests, and eventually other things that had to do with Viktor getting naked. 

After he got dressed in something nicer then what he was wearing before he got nude, and he tells me I should wear something nice too, because he didn't want to be over-dressed for dinner on his own. I shrugged and sighed taking out the nicest thing I packed for our trip. Viktor and I are now both dressed and we go outside the room to find Yuri and Otabek waiting outside their door, Yuri looking highly disturbed. 

"You heard that all, didn't you?" Viktor says quietly.  
"We aren't talking about this. Let's just go you damn slut." He says in his normal grumpy tone.  
"That's not very nice to say to your father, Yuri." He replies.  
"I'm not your son! Shut up Viktor! You are a slut! For the pig!"  
"I love my little piggy. I also love my piglet who is slowly making their way to my arms!"  
"Gross."  
"Yura, why don't we--"  
"Don't even finish that sentence, Beka."  
Otabek chuckled, lightening the mood a little bit. Viktor took my hand and led me down the hall to the elevator and he kissed my cheek, and asked if I knew when Pichit would be arriving.  
"I have no clue, actually. . ."  
"Did he say how long his flight was?"  
"No, actually he didn't. . .Surprisingly."  
Just then I felt my phone vibrate and I look at my messages and it seems as if Pichit is texting me.  
"Just kidding, he's arriving at the hotel now. He's got the room to the left of us."  
"Yuri and Beka have the one on the right. Good, then we all know where each other is staying."  
"So do we just wanna wait here for him then?"  
"Sounds like a plan to me."

 

~

 

When dinner was over, we all sort of decided to go look around. Viktor, being a bit tipsy, thought it was the best idea to drunkenly buy things and talk to his fans. They barely noticed me, but as soon as a few fans came over to me and started talking, it seemed like Viktor sobered up quite a bit, even if he wasn't very drunk. I could hear it already. . .'Yuuri you have to be careful talking to people, you never know if they're gonna hurt you or our little sunshine!'  
Oh sure they will Viktor. . .  
To my surprise, he didn't actually lecture me on being safe in a city we've never really been to, instead he offered to take me into a store for some shopping, but I tell him no, I want to keep going on, because we were almost back to the hotel.  
I know it seems bad that I'm about six months pregnant and walking all over Berlin in the freezing cold, but I'm okay because I'm warm in my jacket, my husband is by my side, along with three of my very good friends, and my feet aren't that swollen today. Not to mention the fact that walking is probably really good for me, then I won't be that sore, I can lose a little weight from eating so many weird things, and I don't have to sit around anxiously waiting for something 'simple' to do. Speaking of eating weird things, I feel like I'm gonna puke soon because I ate some weird type of combination that Viktor told me not to eat. . .I stop behind the others feeling all sorts of 'no' happening in my stomach, then I coughed a little and sighed, looking down, trying to get control of my body. Viktor immediately came to my side, eyes wide, hand moving to my back, rubbing in little circles. I stood up straight, took a deep breath and pushed my glasses up. I was stressed out again, and Viktor knew it. He took my hand and sighed softly.  
"Yuuri, I told you not to eat like that. . ."  
"I know, I didn't listen. . .I didn't want to. . ."  
He sighs, kisses my head and picks me up bridal style. I gasp softly, holding tightly to him.  
"Viktor, be careful! Don't drop me!"  
"Viktor will be careful with you Yuuri! Cause if he's not, I'm sure we're all gonna hurt him." Pichit says while smiling widely, being his usual self, just much more protective.  
"I would hurt him anyway, I don't care." Yuri says, looking Viktor straight in the eyes.  
Otabek hits him on the head, warning him to be nice.

Viktor carries me like I'm light as a feather, when I know by now I probably weigh the same as like four of me. I pushed my hair back, feeling the stress set in, being in a city where I don't know a single doctor. I never planned any of this out, and I didn't think of anything going wrong on vacation, so now I'm way more worried then I need to be.  
Once we got back to the hotel, everyone kind of sat around in our suite, waiting for me to come out of the bedroom, but I didn't want to. As soon as we got back I locked that door and the other one on the bathroom, so no one would come near me. I wanted to be alone, but after about twenty minutes Viktor knocks on the bedroom door, sounding quite concerned. I let him in reluctantly, but only because I was crying and really needed a hug.  
About an hour passes and I've calmed down drastically, Pichit is snuggled up to me, Yuri and Beka are sitting across from Pichit, Viktor, and I. Viktor is rubbing my head softly, trying to get me to sleep, but I refuse. He looks worried and tired, and I feel embarrassed that I'm in this condition in Berlin, and on my lover's birthday. . .

Viktor, however, doesn't seem to care too much. He wants me by his side, and that's all he wants. I feel better, but I don't know how long that will last. I slowly close my eyes, falling asleep now that I'm calm. I guess he must have kicked the other's out eventually because when I woke up, I wasn't on the couch, I was in bed with My love, and the others weren't anywhere to be seen. I was woken up by the sudden feeling of pushing and kicking from a certain little someone. I really hope this kid comes out to be like Viktor, because having a second me around would be hell.


	16. Couldn't Be Sooner

[Viktor's P.O.V.; it's early March]

Yuuri has been getting weaker and more tired more often and it worries me, but I know he's just entering his eighth month. He's been complaining about feeling all kinds of movement lately, and just like the doctor said, it's probably the baby pushing and kicking and rolling around trying to get ready to be born. I tell Yuuri about how that's what the doctor told me on the phone and he sighs, being all upset and stressed.   
He looks at me and sighs, smiling softly, but I knew behind his smile, there was a little bit of something besides happiness. I put my finger under his chin and lift his head to look at me as I stand in front of him.   
"What is wrong, Yuuri?"  
"I just remember when I was younger, I always thought I'd never be happy in my life. . . And now I'm married to the living legend Viktor Nikiforov, and we're expecting a baby. . ."  
"Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you. . .You know, I wasn't happy until I met you. You changed my life Yuuri. . ."  
"You changed mine, too. . .I love you . . ." He says with tears in his eyes.   
Suddenly we are interrupted by Yuuri's phone going off, it seems to be his sister, Mari.   
"M-Mari? What's going on? Is everything okay?"  
I stay quiet and rub his hand, making him relax a little bit. He talks to Mari for about five minutes, then he looks at me and blushes. My family wants us to come there so we can have some time off of all this craziness. . ."  
"Craziness? I mean, I guess that's what it is, but. . .Yuuri, we can't go, you're--"  
"We have to, Viktor. . .It's a great way to relax and get rid of stress, plus my mom and dad want to see us. . ."  
"I guess you're right, but how do they know what's going on?"  
"I tell my mom everything, Viktor. . .I'm sorry. . ."  
"It's alright, it's not as bad as a few months ago. . ."  
"Huh?"  
"When. . .Bad things happened. . ."  
"Stop bringing it up, and just forget it. . ."  
I nod, taking his hand, pulling him close to me from off the couch.   
"Why don't we go outside for a little bit. . .?" He says calmly.  
"What for? It's like 8:30, it's dark out. . .?"  
"For some fresh air, because it's a little bit stuffy in here, and it's actually making me feel more stressed out. . ."  
"Outside sounds lovely right now. Let's go." I take his arm and lead him outside. His glasses fall to the tip of his nose and I giggle at him pushing them up carefully. Once we're outside, he sits in a chair and sighs happily. I giggle to myself and notice that he's falling asleep, then I poke him in the stomach, laughing at how cute my husband looks.   
"Yuuri, you remind me of when we first met with that look on your face, it's so cute and pure!"  
"Hush, I am not cute. . ."  
"Are so!"  
He smirks and gives into my love, giggling softly. I sit next to him, running a hand through his hair, making him smile and giggle.  
"Yuuri, you couldn't be more cute right now, plus you're carrying my baby!"  
"Well, soon enough you'll be carrying them too, just not in the same way. . ."  
"I hope so, I can't wait! I want this so bad Yuuri!" I say excitedly.   
He watches the dogs run around, and soon enough he's leaning on my shoulder, falling asleep again. I ask if he wants to go to bed yet and he says no, he's happy where he is. I smile and kiss his head, staying here with my Katsudon King and Prince and/or Princess. 

~

A few days later, we're on our way to Hasetsu, and Yuuri is already worrying about what could happen on the airplane again. I reassure him and hum, keeping him calm.   
"Don't think about it, and it won't be able to affect you."  
It doesn't help the fact that he looked at the weather patterns and saw a storm on it's way to Moscow. He sits stressfully on the plane, waiting to take off. He makes a noise and squeezes my hand, making us both nervous. Me for him, and him for whatever it is he's afraid of. He looks at me and blushes, waving his hand* "D-don't worry, Viktor. . .It's just. . .movement. Again. . ."  
"Well, try to relax, you're all tense, it isn't good."   
"I know, I'm sorry. . ."  
When our conversation ended, he leaned on my shoulder, and I laced our fingers together, rubbing his hand with my thumb. He calmed down quite a bit with just that, and he soon fell asleep. My little Yuuri~!

Soon enough, we're five hours into our six hour flight, which means we're just about there, Yuuri's glasses are in my pocket as he sleeps peacefully next to me. Yuuri starts to stir in his sleep, and I rub his back, he gasps a little bit, waking himself up. I assumed it was a bad dream until he grabs my hand tight and squeezes it a few times, looking at me like he's afraid of something other than a monster in his dream. He gasps again, trying to keep it down, he starts to tear up and then he whispers shakily to me what's going on.   
"Viktor, I think I'm having contractions, I-I feel the pain and the squeezing and--" he groans, shutting his eyes tight. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, and I couldn't feel anything. All I could hear was my heart thumping, both in excitement and fear. For Yuuri's sake, I tried to say something reassuring, but it all came out sort of jumbled so it sounded stupid of me. I face-palmed and shook my head, freaking out just a little bit. I looked around quickly, thinking of how we were going to have a baby on an airplane. It hits me that Yuuri could most likely be feeling things, or maybe it's nothing to worry about, but then again he seems to be in genuine pain and he hasn't had any sort of pain since way back in the beginning, so I don't know what could possibly be wrong! I start making myself panic more and more slowly, Yuuri beside me taking quick breaths to calm down. I hug him tight, trying desperately to get him to relax, because maybe it's stress? I have no clue, and it's terrifying to me! I pushed my hair out of my face quickly, then I took Yuuri's glasses out of my pocket and put them on him.

"Viktor, please, I'm in pain. . . We have to do something, call Dr. Petrov. . ."  
"I can't use my phone, Yuuri. . .I-I don't have a clue what to do, s-so maybe. . .Maybe. . ."  
"Maybe, what? We wait? If I'm in labor, there is no waiting!" He whispers loudly, getting slightly irritable.   
"We're gonna have to, you aren't ready to push yet if you are in labor. So you technically can wait longer. . ."  
"Viktor, there's no way I'm gonna be able to for too long. . ."

"Just relax, take some deep breaths, don't focus on the pain, focus on me."  
He nods and I take his hand, looking quickly at my phone to see the time. It's 5:30, still only a half hour to go until we're in Hasetsu. I look at Yuuri, who is now hugging my arm, crying softly. My little flower is in so much pain, and I can't do anything about it! It's driving me nuts! I kiss at his head and groan, sneaking out my phone and texting Mari to be ready at the airport because Yuuri is having some major discomfort and he needed to lie down. I never told her what was really happening.  
She texted me back a bit later, saying that she'd already been on her way and should be there by 6:15. Just as we'd be getting off the plane. 

I kept Yuuri calm for most of the time, but there were a few times he winced and cried a little, but he didn't make much noise. He started to get more uncomfortable when they got a little stronger, but he didn't scream or yell at all. I think that's a good sign, considering it isn't enough pain to really hurt him. We get into Mari's car though, and he sort of screams, like he's been holding it in for so long that it's just slipped out now. She looks at him like he's crazy, then look to me, asking for details.   
"So. . .Um, Yuuri needs rest at home. We think he's in labor, and we need to call the doctor. . ."  
"Then call her now! Viktor! I'm dying!"  
"I could just take you to the hospital?"  
"Either way I'm calling our doctor." I pull my phone out and start dialing her number, waiting as the phone rings on the other end. When she answers, she asks me a few questions, and I tell her what happened. She tells me it's probably nothing major, because he's still only at eight months. She also said to take him to the nearest hospital just in case. She then proceeded to ask if his contractions were normal, gaining a few seconds and a little bit of pain with each one, or all over and uneven. I told her uneven because that's what Yuuri said, and she said not to worry at all, but still go see a doctor to see if anything might've happened.   
Mari drives to the hospital and we take Yuuri inside, and once everything is checked on, the doctor (who used to be Yuuri's doctor when he still lived here) told us everything would be fine, all it was were Braxton Hicks Contractions, which is like a false labor. 

By the time we got back to The Katsuki place, it was already getting dark, and it was about 7:45. Yuuri was still feeling some discomfort, so I had him sit in bed. I stand in front him, pushing around his hair, staring into his eyes. I suddenly smile and Yuuri smiles back only a little.   
"You know, Yuuri, we made our baby in here the last time we were here. . ."  
"Hush, don't say that, I'm sure they can hear you!"  
"So? Don't you think it would be cool to be in the very spot you were made?"  
"Um, no. . .I think it would be disturbing if anything."  
I shrug and giggle, kissing his head softly, I put a hand on Yuuri's belly, he puts a hand on mine and he takes a picture with my phone. I smile, kissing his head, feeling the little tiny kicks of our baby. Yuuri yawns and smiles, giggling at us now. I'm glad to see he's better now, and when he looks at me, he has that special smile on his face.   
"I can't wait to meet them. . ." He says quietly. 

~

Now that it's mid March, Yuuri and I have talked more about what we want to happen when the baby is born. Obviously we have an overnight bag, and a bunch of little onsies for our newest family member, but he wants Yuri and Beka to come see, but only after the baby itself comes. We sit in Yuuri's old bedroom talking for a while until Mother Katsuki comes to get us for breakfast. I help Yuuri up and bring my shining prince to the dinning room. He smiles and giggles when he notices that his mom made his absolute favorite meal, katsudon. He doesn't even care that it's almost noon when we eat, he's tired and hungry, and wants to spend time with his Mother. I decide I would let them spend a day together, and Yuuri can get a day off of me. He's probably tired of seeing me all day, everyday anyway. Everything feels really calm around here, compared to our actual house, which is being watched over by the one and only pair of angsty-lovers Yuri Plisetsky and Otabek Altin. They don't mind always having to keep our house in check, because it gives them something to do. When I call them to check up on things, they tell me they've fed the pups, and might've watched a few movies before they went home. I don't care as long as Yuuri and I don't come home to more stress than we need right now. 

I talk to Yuuri about spending the day with his mother, and he thinks it'll be fun. I nod and smile a little, knowing I'm gonna miss my sun-bean. . .but more importantly, I'm going to miss my love, Yuuri.   
Once I know he's ready to go, I walk outside with him on my arm. He tells me that he loves me, and that I should go, but I say no, he should go spend time with his Mom. [time to insert a sad backstory and other sadness, be warned.] I think about my Mama, and how I should have spent more time with her when I could. I kiss Yuuri on the cheek, letting him go with his Mom. I head inside and continue to think back on how my Mama has changed my life. I didn't get to see her enough before she passed. Mama didn't tell me she had a terminal case of leukemia for a long time, and the last time I saw her was after my third year winning the Grand Prix. I was only sixteen when I learned to live without my Mama, and since I'd had no father before, I lived with my Aunt. Yuuri and I lost someone we loved dearly around the same time, I think? Actually, I have no clue when he lost Vii-Chan, but I do know it was at least the year he left skating, since he was gone for five years or so after then. 

I sit in Yuuri's bedroom and sigh, keeping myself busy with my phone, until Makka and Scruffy run into the room. I pet them and smile softly, thinking about the day I found out Yuuri got Makkachin a playmate, and I was so happy. I kissed him so hard and spun him around in a hug. That was the day that me and Yuuri decided that we wanted to move, but we didn't plan to move to Russia until he was hurt. He still has a scar from that crazy fan-girl. He probably doesn't notice it, because it's in a strange spot. He also has scars from a few months ago, but we both try to ignore those. I start humming a song and Makka barks at the door, I get up and walk over to it and open it, and he runs out, killing my hopes of it being Yuuri at the door. 

An hour passes. 

My husband is still not home, I start to worry, but I know he's okay with his mom. I sit and wait, pacing around a little bit. 

Another three hours pass.

I start to feel anxious, as if something has happened to my baby, or my lover, or even his mother. I groan and sigh, looking outside, seeing as it's getting dark outside and he still isn't home makes me worry. I push my hair back and sigh. I wait some more, sitting on the bed. 

Another hour. 

I finally hear something, and I sit up a little bit. I try to hear voices but I hear nothing, just the slight shuffle of socked feet coming closer. Please let it be Yuuri!  
I go quiet and sit up all the way, staring at the door for a moment until I hear it open and there stands my husband, crying and shaking softly. I let my eyes go wide for a moment, then I get up and hug Yuuri tightly, worrying.   
"What happened?! Are you alright?"  
He sniffles and nods, pouting.   
"I just had a rough day without you. . . Viktor, promise you'll never leave me, I'll miss you too much. . ."  
"I promise, yes. . .Oh my gosh, Yuuri. . . I promise!"  
I now realize his eyes are all red from crying, and I hug him tight, resting his head on my shoulder. He calms down slowly, Makkachin jumps on his legs and Scruffy just copies Makka, that is until I push them down and pick up my little shaking bean of a husband, then put him on our bed, letting him get comfortable. 

About ten minutes later he's asking me about when we're gonna go home, because he misses our bed, and Yuri and Beka, and he wants to just be with me all the time. I can't believe the words coming out of his mouth and it takes me a little by surprise when he starts to kiss my jawline and rub my cheek. He seems very inconsistent with his whole thing about wanting me, then wanting Yuri, but I say nothing. I get an idea just then and I decide to take action for my hubby.   
"Want to Skype Yuri and Beka? See what's up?"  
"I-It's late over there, isn't it?"  
"No, not as late as us anyway. . ."  
"Then yes, I want that. . ."  
"Okay, just give me a moment. . ." I pull him close, resting his head on my chest, letting him listen to my heartbeat. I call Yuri and Beka, and of course Yuri answers and looks angry with me, and Yuuri is sniffling on my chest, his glasses all foggy. I take them off him quickly then I look at Yuri.   
"Yuri, how are things going?"   
"Fine, what do you want? And what's with the Japanese loser?"  
"Don't say that, he misses you! If you're not gonna be nice, whats the point of missing you?"  
"You treat me like I'm five. I swear sometimes, Viktor. You need to let me act my age, or else I will punch you in the--"  
Just then, Otabek kisses him on the lips, making him blush and go quiet, staring at him. I laugh quietly to myself, looking at Yuuri who seems to be falling asleep at the sound of Yuri's loud and rude yelling. I wonder how that works. . . 

After about three hours, I couldn't stay awake anymore, so I passed out. Yuuri had passed out hours before me, and I assumed he wouldn't be getting up at any point the rest of the night, but when I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, I noticed that Yuuri and my puppies were missing, and I assumed he would be back inside soon, but I waited and waited for him to come back from taking them both outside quickly, but when I looked at the clock it said 2:36 A.M. By the time I looked again it said 3:27 A.M. 

My husband went missing, with our baby. In the middle of the night. Without telling me.   
I got out of bed immediately, running out the front door, and I quickly looked around. The darkness was only contrasted by the small lights along a path, I decided I needed to go that way, so I pulled on my robe and some sandals and ran off to find Yuuri. 

Without a plan in my head for once, I set out to find my husband and child, at 3:30 in the morning. I call for him, whistle for Makkachin and Scruffy, but I hear nothing. I start to panic, but I keep going forward, just to know if he's still around.


	17. Stained With Stress

[Yuuri's P.O.V]

I realize that walking around at night isn't a great idea, especially when you're eight months pregnant, but to be completely honest, I couldn't sleep for the life of me (and in me. . .) and it put way too much stress in my body. I look around, walking Makkachin and Scruffy. This is nice, it's just what I needed, until I thought of being mugged, shot, raped, killed, or something worse. I know Viktor wouldn't approve of me going on my own, but I didn't want to let him see me struggle trying to relax, or maybe see me cry and get upset. I sniffle softly at the thought of my husband waking up to find me gone, thinking I've left, but to be honest I don't think he would wake up. Or even notice that I'm gone, which is pretty bad to say because he knows where I am at all times. I sigh and look at my phone, thinking of what to do, head back or keep going for a bit? I start to get this feeling of sadness in my chest, but I ignore it and turn around, deciding to go back to my love. I start walking back the way I came, but I start to feel a drowsiness coming to my head, and I stumble a little. I feel absolutely terrible, but I can't stop walking now! I pull out my phone again and call Viktor, who doesn't answer at the first call, like he usually does. I freak out, then fall to my knees, crying. I don't know what it was accomplishing, but I couldn't move then, I felt weaker than ever right now, and I knew eventually I'd pass out. 

I remembered then that I probably didn't eat much at dinner with Mom because I was worried about Viktor, and this could be the cause of my sudden feeling of sickness. I hear footsteps and they sound like they're slowly picking up, coming closer. I start to cry more, thinking I'm about to die, and I'll never see Viktor again. The fear of death subsides when the person that was coming toward me pulls me off the ground, and hugs me tightly. I knew by then the person who found me was Viktor, and he looked very worried. I told him I was okay, but I felt very nervous, and now the feeling of stress was turning into a sudden urge to get sick. I cough and whimper, trying to hold back vomit. Viktor, takes the dogs leashes from me and starts leading us home. He has no shirt on, which means he didn't bother to waste any time finding me. He seems quiet, because he hasn't said a word at all since he found me.   
I look over at him to make sure he's okay, and he looks pretty mad.   
"V-Vitya. . ." I mumble nervously.  
"No. We are going home, and we are having a serious talk then, do you hear me?"  
I start to cry again, feeling suddenly very upset. He looks at me shocked, then he stops walking and looks down at his feet, his hair covering his eyes as much as it could. I stop a second later to look at him, still crying. He shakes his head, looking at me now, with tears on his cheeks. 

"Yuuri, you can't keep doing that! You can't just leave whenever you want, you need to let me know! You're carrying my baby, you're eight months pregnant! You can't just disappear! Okay?!"  
I find myself holding back sobs, I'm hurt by his words. He doesn't usually yell at me, but he has a point! Am I supposed to do something?   
"V-Vitya. . .P-please. . .You don't understand. . ." I sob out, he pushes his hair back and walks past me, I feel terrible and try to grab his hand but he pulls away and walks ahead of me, clearly angry with me.   
"V-Viktor! Listen to me!"  
He looks back at me with a look of tiredness and anger painted on his face, which isn't normal, so it makes me nervous. I don't know what I'm doing, but I let it happen.   
"I can't take this stress anymore! It's killing me metaphorically, and our baby literally! I just needed time to release some of that stress! I don't want you to be mad at me for trying to save the only thing that matters to us right now! Okay?!"  
"Yuuri. . ." He sighs, the look of anger coming off his face, turning to pain and guilt. I cry harder, because it's now killing me to see him like this, not as metaphorically. "I'm sorry, but I just want to go home now. . .Please?"   
I stare at the ground and sigh, nodding at him. I walk slowly behind him, he stops to let me get ahead of him, but I don't think I can handle another step. My ankles are already swollen enough and with all that's going on, the feeling of sickness still hasn't gone away. 

About five minutes pass and I can't last any longer. I'm a crying mess, and I feel terrible, my husband is walking behind me with our fluffy children, and he isn't talking to me now. I started feeling dizzy a little bit back, and I decided not to break the silence between me and him. I stopped and puked, making him jump suddenly, then he rubbed my back and took my hand gently. I pulled it away from him and stood up, groaning softly. He sighs softly and we keep walking back home. Once we get there he brings me right to my bed, he turned on the little desk lamp that gave just enough light to illuminate everything in the room with a dim glow. Something isn't right, and I know it. I want to go home, even if I haven't spent that much time here yet. I sigh, holding my head and taking deep breaths, trying to calm down before something happens. Viktor is watching me closely, making some kind of conclusion in his head.   
I look at him and pout, tears making it hard to see him clearly. 

"Yuuri, I don't think we should take an airplane home with the way things are right now. . .We might have to wait. . .Just a little longer. . ."  
"If we wait any longer, I'm going to be nine months pregnant, and I probably don't have a living, breathing, happy, healthy baby right now! Do you understand me?!" I snap at him. I suddenly feel even worse because I know he didn't deserve that, and I can't take it back now. He looks down and sighs, nodding.   
"I'm calling Dr. Petrov in the morning, and we are going to take you to a hospital as soon as possible. And we might have to leave before the end of the week. . ."  
"I-I'm sorry, Viktor. . .I can't control any of my emotions right now, they're all over the place! O-oh god. . ."  
"I know, which is why I'm scared for you. . .And we need to go to the hospital now so we can get you all better, right?"  
"Yes. . .Yes. . .Yes, please. . ."

He comes over to me and pushes my hair out of my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. I look at him surprised, then he kisses my head and I blush deep pink, hugging him suddenly. Viktor sits on the bed, hugging me close, shushing me in a comforting way. I sigh and relax with his touch, I take in his smell and lay on his chest, wanting to go back to bed. Just as I get comfortable though he stands up and walks to his suitcase and pulling out a shirt [hahahaha, we all know his pullout game though ;D ] I sigh and stand up, he turns and pushes me slowly back down on the bed. I pout and whine softly, he shakes his head.   
"Stressed out Mommies get to sit on the bed and not say anything while stressed out Daddies get ready to take care of Mama at the hospital." He nods softly as if confirming his own words. I nod back, letting him do what he needs to. I sit quietly and start to feel intense pain shoot through my abdomen, which makes me wince softly. I feel it again and I groan weakly, Viktor looks at me and tilts his head.   
"Everything okay?"  
"N-not really. . .I'm feeling this really intense, horrible pain. . ."  
"We should leave now then huh?"  
"Yes, we should. . ."

As we quietly leave the house and get me to a hospital, I feel all the pain coming and going like the contractions I felt earlier. Some of them are more painful than others, and those ones make me groan and whimper. Viktor has my hand in his, and I squeeze when I need to, but since it isn't that intense by now, I don't need it all that much. When we finally get a room, the doctor does his thing and tells us we have absolutely nothing to worry about, because our baby looks incredibly healthy and fine, but it does seem as if there is lots of stress being put on them and I need to relax. I nod and smile softly, holding Viktor's hand shakily, looking him in the eyes, slightly confused.   
The morning after we went to a hospital, we stayed at my parents house because what we said the night before was just out of anger, fear, and stress. I told Viktor I was sorry and I hope he wasn't mad at me, he just smiled softly and kissed my cheek, shaking his head a little. We tried to make things better, but I know he hasn't touched me all night since we got home, so he's obviously still a little upset with me. . .But I wasn't going to say anything and I was just gonna let him be him, and not worry. I woke up feeling sick again, and I got out of bed to shower early. I thought Viktor was sleeping, but he didn't seem to actually be asleep. Maybe we both stayed up all night, but I just know I couldn't sleep with the way we acted to each other. . .

~

I felt like my due date couldn't come sooner, and it's coming so close, but now time just seems to not be moving. Me and Viktor decided we would stay at my parents just long enough for the due date, but as I said before, it's taking much more time than anticipated. I've been waking up to find the little devil in me is kicking and rolling lots, which means they're ready to come, but they've still got time and they haven't exactly chosen a time in which to end my life just yet. And by 'end my life' I mean suffer and be in immense pain for hours on end.  
I noticed that the Nikisuki baby wasn't moving a whole lot, and I knew that wasn't good considering my due date, April 26, was in two days. Just the thought of that alone is enough to make me choke on my breath, and I actually cried one morning because I was so worried. I ended up waking Viktor, who started panicking, then frantically tried to comfort me. I guess it was pretty loud cause Mom walked in the door and I felt so upset when she gave me the 'My poor baby Yuuri!' look. I told Viktor this morning that I couldn't feel anything moving and that it was stressing me out more than anything right now, and what he did was poke me and suddenly the baby was kicking and pushing at his finger. I gasped and he laughed, kissing at the little feet and hands gently. 

I'm going to openly admit that once April 26 came, I was scared, but then as it passed I was even more scared. My baby was late, and I knew something must've been up. . .  
That is until May 2nd came, and I nearly stopped breathing while on our plane ride home.


	18. Pain and Heaven (Ch. 17 Part 1)

[Viktor's P.O.V]

"Yuuri, breathe! Take my hand if you need it!" I find myself yelling in our hospital's hallway, while rushing to the delivery room.   
I don't know why I'd thought getting a ride home from Hasetsu while Yuuri is late with his due date was a good idea. I just wanted to take him home so he could rest, and since we had Makka and Scruffy, we wasted lots of time getting him to the hospital. 

It started on the day we got back to the airport, and were heading home to Moscow: Sunny, happy day. Yuuri wasn't stressed out or upset, and when he got on the plane itself, he wasn't freaking out for once! That's amazing! And again, about halfway through the ride home he felt pain in his entire lower body, enough to make him cry and almost scream. When he held my hand, I gasped because he was actually squeezing the hell out of it, and I don't know why it didn't click before. Probably because this happened once already. I told him to ignore it, because it was probably more of those Braxton Hicks contractions or whatever, and he was probably getting it because of the altitude we were at. He shook his head and told me it was worse, but then he told me I might've been right, because the pain alleviated shortly. It only lasted about about a half minute, and felt just painful enough for him to notice. Shortly after that he seemed to be quiet, until like twenty-five minutes later he was doing the same thing, this time he was in tears. I bit my lip wondering if he really could be in labor, and I wonder what will happen when we get off, we have Makka and Scruffy with us, so we would need to bring them home, and call Yuri to watch them for a few days while Yuuri and I are in the hospital. I also figured I'd need to grab our emergency overnight bag from our room when we get home, and with all things happening in this chaos Yuuri would be okay. 

As we got to the airport at home, I grabbed what I needed: all our luggage, our beautiful fur-babies and of course Yuuri. I got in the car with our things and rushed to get home. Yuuri was in agonizing pain and this is where I started to worry that he actually was in labor. I looked at him and he was holding back a scream, and a few tears. I whined and got home as fast as possible, then I rushed around, taking care of the dogs, calling Yuri, getting the over night bag and a bunch of stuff for the new arrival, and then something for Yuuri to squeeze instead of my hand for right now. His contractions are still about ten to twenty minutes apart from each other, I lost track, but that means that he's dilating quickly, and by the time we get to the hospital in about forty-five minutes, he could be ready to push. I rushed him there, freaking out just a little more by the minute, I see Yuuri is trying to relax and it makes me really nervous because he's taking quick, uneven breaths. I glance over at him and whine, telling him to take deep, slow breaths. He listened to me and started taking slower, deeper breaths, but he was still breathing heavily. When I pulled up to the hospital, I paid the valet out front to park the car and rushed Yuuri and all our things inside, trying to find a doctor or nurse quickly. Once I found someone, they put him in a bed and let him stay there until Dr. Petrov asked for him to be moved. Then they rolled the bed down the hall, and to the first open delivery room.

"Yuuri, breathe! Take my hand if you need it!" I tell him, as he screams uncomfortably.  
I know he's still dilating yet, but I believe he won't be for much longer.   
Maybe I'm wrong, but I still think he's moving much faster than I wished he were, I can barely keep up as is! I try to keep him relaxed, but he's crying so much and he's in so much pain and he's just screaming in agony as his contractions pass by now. I whisper soft, sweet things into his ear and he smiles and cries, then grasps my hand and squeezes the life out of it. I groan softly, feeling awful, my heart full of sympathy for my angel. Everything seems to have slowed down, he's now getting contractions between ten and twelve minutes and all I can think of is our baby, how our lives are about to get a huge change in it, and for the first time ever during Yuuri's pregnancy

I'm not excited.

I wasn't excited, I was terrified. I didn't want this now, I wanted a longer time with just me and Yuuri, skating! I can't be a dad! I'm only 30! And I still haven't given up on skating! I can't let this happen! I can't be a dad!  
"Y-Yuuri. . .U-um. . ."  
He looks miserable, he needs me right now.   
"V-Viktor, please. . .Help me. . ."  
"I-I wish I could, Yuuri. . .But I'm having serious thoughts about this. . .I-I don't think we're ready for this. . ."  
"W-what?! Viktor! Stop it! Please, don't say that! I love you!"  
"I-I'm sorry Yuuri, I just can't be a dad yet, we can't do this. . ."  
"S-shut up!" he cries more now, but not because he's in pain physically. He's in pain mentally and emotionally. He screams again when he feels another contraction come on, then he pulls his hand away from me, and grips the rails of the bed. I stay quiet, wishing I hadn't said anything, but now it's too late. I kiss his head, telling him I'm sorry and he pulls away telling me he doesn't wanna hear it right now, he just wants this to be over so that he can prove to me I really do want this. I smile through teary eyes, knowing he isn't really as mad as he is determined. 

After about an hour and a half of screaming goes by when the doctor comes in to check up on my screaming King Katsudon, and she tells him he needs to relax, and they're gonna give him some I.V. fluids to sedate him, and then they're going to give him an epidural. Yuuri looks shocked at her, and he gasps, feeling the baby roll and push. He looks like he's tired already and it's only been about two hours since it started. I know he didn't want to be all drugged up when he was in labor but I can't help but feel like this is the right choice, based on how he's reacting to the pain. He's not even halfway there yet, his cervix is only open to about 3.5 centimeters right now, which means that he's still gotta wait to push until it reaches 10 centimeters. I rub his leg and pout at him and sigh.  
"Yuuri, maybe it would be for the best. . . ?"  
"N-No! No way! None of that! No drugs! I can't let it happen! No, no no!" He says adamantly.

I stare at him for a moment then I look down, seeing as he's bleeding from between his legs.   
"What just happened?!" I say, getting worried quickly.   
"Yuuri's letting out a little blood, it's the same as spotting, that will happen because all the extra blood in his uterus is coming out with the baby." Dr. Petrov says in response. "Yuuri, are you sure you want to do this naturally, most people say that then they regret it almost immediately. Is it what you want?"  
"Y-Yes."  
"No! I don't want him to hurt, he needs this! Please, Yuuri!"  
"No! I will not be drugged up to have my baby! It's my body and my choice! I'm not risking their life again!"  
I groan, and shake my head, but I let him have what he wants. Even if it means I'm gonna be in pain just watching and hearing him.

I sigh and help him sit up, but he gasps and quickly drops back onto his back, moaning at the feeling of another contraction coming up. I rub his cheek gently and ask if he wants to lay on his side for a little bit, while he still can, and he nods ever so slightly. He's already in lots of pain with the contractions, but I know once it's time for him to finish dilating, he's gonna be in so much more pain then now, and it's killing me. The doctor has left the room by now and won't be back until Yuuri is ready to push, which should take up to four hours or more. He looks like he can't stand it anymore already and as soon as his next big contraction kicks in, he yells at me to find the doctor. Naturally, I listen to him in his time of need because something might be wrong and he needs her. As soon as I walk out of the room, I see her and I wave her over. She comes to me and smiles softly.   
"He wants it, doesn't he?"  
"Um, well he didn't tell me what's up he just needs you he said. . .?"  
"Right, I'll see what's up." And then she walks into the room, talking to Yuuri, who is crying in pain again. 

As soon as Dr. Petrov left the room I knew he wanted the epidural and he was making sure he wouldn't feel any pain. Doc said he would feel very little amounts of it, but he still had to wait a little longer with the dilation process going so slow. His water still hasn't broken either, because I think it's too soon, but I can't tell. . .  
Dr. Petrov had a nurse or two check on Yuuri's dilation every few hours, and by about the sixth hour we were here, his water finally broke, and his contractions were closer together and much longer now. He hated this, but now that he was at 8 centimeters he can get his epidural and he doesn't have to feel pain anymore! He looks so tired already, he didn't get much sleep before we got here, and since it was about 7:30 A.M. when we left Hasetsu, now it was about 7:30 P.M. on May 2nd, 2017, and I am going to be a dad. We still needed to wait until he reached ten centimeters in order to push, and that alone took at least another three and a half hours. By the time he was ready to push it was approximately 11:00 P.M.   
He was still in pain, and he said he could feel less, but it was still so painful that he felt it through the numbing. When the doctor poked her head in the room, she said he sounded like he was still in lots of pain, and he told her he was. She said she had some good and bad news for him, and that was that he could finally push. I took his hand, being the nervous dad I wasn't ready to become, and he cried tears of happiness and sadness at the same time. He was saying things like 'oh thank god' and 'oh god, no the pain is gonna get worse?!' and it made me smile, then frown because I knew it was coming from the start. 

When the nurses got him into position the doctor was ready to deliver our angel, and he began the process of pushing. She told Yuuri to push in intervals of ten. Every ten seconds he would push, then take a break, then push again. This goes on for about nine and a half hours because Yuuri was slow with the whole process, and the doctor kept telling him to take breaks so he could actually breathe. I took his hand firmly and kissed his cheek halfway through, still believing in him, telling him he could do it and I was ready for this! Even if it was a lie, he smiled at me and cried tears of joy, biting his lip, and pushing some more. By the time he finished pushing, he looked miserable, pale, his hair a mess, his eyes tired, his body shaking. But when he looks at me all I can see is a tired kind of happiness in his eyes, and that meant everything to me.   
I cried when I heard the first cries of my new baby girl. Now all we have to do is pick her name, which won't be too hard for us. 

"Viktor. . .?"  
"Yes, Yuuri?" I say as I sniffle, holding his hand tight.  
"I know what we're gonna name her. . ."  
"You do?"  
"Yes, I do. . . 

. . .Let's name her Miracle May. . ."


	19. Welcome, Miracle May (Ch. 17 Part 2)

[Yuuri's P.O.V. ; Moments before birth]

I screamed and I cried at the pain I felt running through my body, I could barely breathe. It was like I was being torn in half, and my body couldn't handle it, even after I got an epidural. Now the worst feeling is almost over, Viktor tells me I'm doing good, but he sounds distant and muffled, I had stopped screaming as much, but as I felt one last contraction I gasped and screamed, but soon after that I heard the cries of a little girl.   
"It's a girl!" Dr. P. called out. I smiled and looked at Viktor who looked like he was crying. I got an idea just then, and I needed to tell Viktor.

"Viktor. . .?"  
"Yes, Yuuri?" He says as he holds my hand tightly.   
"I know what we're gonna name her. . ."  
"You do?"  
"Yes, I do. . .Let's name her Miracle May. . ."  
"I think that's perfect, Yuuri. . ."  
And so, we welcomed our new bundle of joy into the world, and we got to hold her, I cried as I looked at her and saw how much like Viktor she really looked, and it made him cry when he noticed her platinum hair ended with darker tips, representing the me in her. She squealed and whimpered, which made us both smile and cry tears of joy, knowing our baby was healthy and safe. Viktor told me to kiss her head gently, so I did and of course he snapped a picture of it, and I smiled softly, giving him a look.   
"I promise I'm not posting until later, when I can get more~!"  
"Fine, but not too many to reveal her face, okay? Not yet anyway. . ."  
"Got it, Mom."   
"Hush, I'm not Mom!"  
Miri whines because I slightly raised my voice, so I quickly comfort her. Viktor smiles and snaps another picture.

After a little while, we got to look at the information on her birth certificate.

Miracle May Nikiforov-Katsuki  
20 Inches  
6 Lbs, 2 Ounces  
Female  
Born to: Nikiforov, Viktor & Katsuki, Yuuri   
On: May 3rd 2017

As me and Viktor read it over, we both smiled and I cried a little more. I looked at our baby, then at my husband.   
"Do you wanna hold her, Super-Dad?"  
"Of course I do!" He says excitedly.   
I hand her over carefully and get into a comfier position in bed, laying on my side again. Since the doctor already removed the placenta from my body, I could lay freely, and move at my own will again. I watch Viktor holding Miri and he's smiling so wide right now, and then he suddenly looks at me, tears in his eyes.   
"We're having more, right?"  
I stare at him, wide eyed. I can't believe he just asked me that!   
"Seriously? Not this soon, maybe in a few years! I mean Jesus, Viktor I just went through all that trouble. And I'm not really up for that sort of thing, Viktor. . .Not again. . ."

Just as we finish up the conversation, May starts to cry again, but since Viktor has her, he comforts her and she goes quiet quickly, falling asleep in his arms, her little pink blanket is wrapped snugly on her, Viktor hands her back to me, smiling softly. I'm already falling asleep when he hands me her back, so naturally I just take her and snuggle up to her, keeping her head close to my face, so my nose can rest on her head. Her tiny torso and legs are right by my chest. I know you aren't supposed to sleep with a newborn, but I couldn't help the fact that even after an hour of rest time, I'm still tired and want to sleep, so I was going to no matter what. I trust Viktor isn't an idiot and won't leave her next to me for too long, but still, I remind him just in case. He tells me he knows, and he will take her in a bit, just so she can sleep a little while and get warm with Daddy. I wrap my arm around her, still laying on my side. She whines a little bit and then goes quiet, feeling comfortable with me now. I look at Viktor one last time before drifting off into a happy sleep.

 

~

 

I wake up to find Viktor giggling a little bit and my phone blowing up. I look at him confused and then go onto my Instagram (which is where all the notifications are coming from) and see that Viktor sneak shot me and the baby when I passed out. I give him a look that doesn't seem like I'd normally give him, or anyone for that matter. He stops smiling as much and waves at me from across the room, Yuri by his side, his arms folded in his usual 'I don't want to be here, but I care too much not to be' way. I sigh, moving Miri onto my chest. I stayed quiet for a moment, then sighed softly, because the picture he took was a perfect one, and I can't be mad at him for that.   
I promised myself I'd get him back for that eventually, with my own picture of him and May.   
As soon as I got to sit up all the way for the first time in hours, Viktor smiled and came closer to me. I smiled back and told him it was a beautiful picture, and I wasn't that mad. We begin to get on the topic of my yelling in constant pain somehow, and this is what we talk about. . .

"Well, hearing myself tell you I was in labor wasn't something I was expecting to hear. I never imagined I'd be saying things like 'fuck me Viktor' or 'spank me daddy' or hell, even 'Viktor I'm in labor'. It just sort of. . .Happened."  
Viktor and Yuri are both staring, wide-eyed at me. I sighed and kissed my baby's head. Viktor looks at her, then me. I sigh and roll my eyes.   
"She doesn't know what anything means right now, so saying that as of this very moment is just fine. Hush." I tell him. Yuri still looks utterly disgusted in those words.   
"And now that I've experienced my lady parts for a full nine month trial, I can say that it was all very enjoyable, except for the sickness and the pain. So never again."  
"Aw, but Yuuri. . .You really only want one?"  
"Yes. I'm dead serious Viktor. No more! This is it. One and done!"  
"So I assume we're gonna be mailing out some cards for your family and our friends, right?"   
"As soon as possible. I'm really not feeling it right now, obviously but. . .Eventually." I say, yawning softly. May makes a noise and when I look at her, my eyes tear up at the sight of her eyes. I only now notice that her eyes are not like any normal eye, they look like a mixture of us two! Her bright blue eyes have a little ring around the pupil that is the same as my eye color! I'm amazed! And I suppose it's obvious how in love I am with this baby because Viktor rushes over to see her right away. He smiles brightly, looking at her eyes.   
"I knew she'd have your eyes." He says acting smug.   
"You said she was gonna look like me, I said she'd look like you, and guess who was right? Either way, our baby is beautiful." I say, smiling widely.   
"She does have your nose." Yuri says, chiming in.  
"And your lips." Viktor says in reply.  
"She's got your head shape, as well." Yuri mentions.   
"Sort of your eyebrows, too." Viktor adds to the other boy's statement.   
I suddenly realize Beka isn't in the room, and Yuri is pretty quiet, which means he probably isn't here. I frown and suddenly he snaps at me because I was staring at him.  
"What do you want piggy!?"

May gets scared, so Viktor takes her and snuggles her little belly, getting her to be quiet.  
"You're real quiet over there, Yuri. Where's Otabek?"  
His eyes widen, he ignores me and looks at Viktor, blushing. Viktor shakes his head and looks at me, then I frown.   
"What the hell? What's going on?" I ask, confused. Viktor obviously has something planned, but what? I don't know.  
"Nothing, don't worry about it my Katsudon King. . ."  
"I'm going to worry about it if it means our baby might get hurt!"  
"Definitely not gonna hurt her. It's just a stress reliever type. . . Thing. . .I don't know how to explain it, but no, it's not gonna hurt you or the baby."  
I sigh and accept the fact that my husband is telling me most of the truth, but he still isn't giving me what I need. I want to know exactly whats up, but he won't tell me!

I only start to wonder what's up when Viktor is suddenly acting very nervous towards the mention of the baby leaving the hospital tomorrow morning. I shake my head and ignore anything that might be happening inside his brain, because he's probably just being a paranoid new father, like me.

 

~

 

I fall asleep with May in my arms, and Viktor at my side. I seemed to forget that having a baby means I get less sleep than I already do, because at almost two in the morning May woke me with a loud cry, begging for my attention, then I had realized she was probably hungry because she refused to eat earlier. I groan, picking her up gently and unbuttoning my shirt. I let her nurse a little bit and I just smile, whispering to her groggily about how much trouble she is already, and how much I love her. Viktor, on the other hand, was talking in his sleep about. . .Things he was going to do, or rather was doing in his dream. I poke his head, laughing a little to myself. He snorts and then keeps sleeping, now quietly. I kiss Miri's head and sigh softly, finally letting her go back to sleep.  
Me however, is now wide awake and struggling to fall back to sleep. I groan softly, letting Miri lay on my chest, happily sleeping the night away. I look at Viktor, who is also sleeping the night away with his hand in my available one. I sigh and stay awake for the next four to six hours, and I start to feel anxious sitting here in this room for so long. I nearly scream by 5:30 in the morning but Miracle does it for me, which this time wakes Viktor up. I sit up with her, but Viktor swiftly takes her out of my arms and comforts her, checking for reasons why she might be crying. He concludes that she's either lonely or wants to nurse again, but when we tried to nurse her she whined and squirmed. 

"Yuuri, this morning is when we're going to be leaving, you know?"  
"Yes, I know. . .Thank the heavens I can't stand this room anymore."  
"Aw, I'm sorry. . .I promise, no more kids after May. I hated seeing you go through all this, it was painful to imagine. . ."  
"Sure it was. . .But. . ."  
"But. . . ?"  
"I have no clue anymore. . ." I hold my head, feeling extremely nervous about even taking May out of this room. Everything seems so strange, and maybe this is a sign we should just stay here one more day, just in case.   
Miracle May is extremely healthy, according to our doctor, but things can change very fast. I find myself worrying more and more as the hours pass. When the door opens for Dr. Petrov to come in, she's got a smile on her face, but my eyes water behind my glasses. I tell her I can't leave with May because I'm way too worried that something might happen. She tells me I'm overreacting.

I guess we know who was right, again.   
As soon as Viktor and I got to leave, we got in the car and started driving home. It all seemed so silly to think I was worried about something happening, we've driven this road a million times before now, and I was just too full of anxiety. But that's when I proved myself wrong. I was sitting in the back, protecting May while Viktor was driving. I was focused on her, but more importantly the road, where I thought something would happen. As soon as I looked down, just as I became relaxed, I felt everything, then nothing. The last words I heard were from Viktor's mouth, everything else wasn't from a human.

"Yuuri!"   
"Viktor! No!" I screamed as I felt the car sliding.

All I could hear was the sound of metal on concrete by this point, and my baby girl crying loudly. I held her closely, not daring to sit up for fear that my angel would be hurt, I was hugging her tightly. I was protecting her from broken glass or anything else that could damage her. When everything calmed down I looked up, crying already, then I saw Viktor, who had blood leaking down his head from broken glass. I screamed loudly and shook him a little bit, trying to get him to respond to me, but he didn't move, I screamed again, thinking he was dead, but then I saw him twitch, and his chest was still expanding and relaxing from his slow breathing.

I knew we shouldn't have left.


	20. Broken Glass

[Viktor's P.O.V]

A crash. A car crash. This is some sort of cruel joke played by God. I have a newborn daughter and I can not die before she's even a half year old! Before she's even a week old! I feel hands touching me, and a voice that seems so far away but so close. Yuuri! It's Yuuri! I try to speak to him but I can't move, I can see everything right in front of me, but I can't move my anything! Yuuri! Please! Call someone! I'm stuck! I think to myself for a bit, then I feel other hands grabbing me and pulling me out of the car, and I notice now that there are paramedics here to help me move. I try to tell them to get Yuuri to the hospital since they've pulled him out already, but they don't seem to acknowledge me. And just as I look at the car, which is totaled by the way, I see them taking Yuuri out, with May, who both seem to be okay, other than a few cuts that are on Yuuri's head. My eyes widen and I turn to look at the person on the gurney, and I see. . .

. . .Myself?

What is this?! Am I dead already!? I can't be! Please tell me I'm not! What the hell is going on! I run over to Yuuri and try to hug him because he's crying and panicking, as well as Miri, but when I go to actually hug him, he walks right through me. Is this like one of those things where I'm a ghost? No! Of course not! This is just me, being me. . .? I'm having one of those really crazy out of body experiences. I have to be! This is not right, I can't be like this, I need to be with Yuuri! And my baby! I get into the ambulance with Yuuri, May, the paramedics and Myself-- That sounds so weird to say! We drive right back to the hospital, but the floor we're on this time is the second floor - Trauma. Yuuri and May go a separate way from me and I want to follow, but I need to make sure my body is okay, so I follow that instead. I get curious about what would happen if I touched my face of chest or something. Would I wake up?   
Well, not really, but I did make myself move, and make noise, letting them know I wasn't dead at all. I see them taking me into a darker area and it seems as if I am in an operating room now? Suddenly everything gets really bright and I (as in my real self) wince from the brightness shining in my eyes. They give me anesthesia and I start to pass out, even in my spirit-type form whatever it is.

~

When I wake up, I'm not in my body still, but I am in a room with wires and tubes coming out of my mouth and nose, I had a mask on, probably to help me breathe and--Wait! Is that Life Support? Oh, no no no no. I am not in a coma, there's no way! Seriously? No!   
I start to freak out more when I see Yuuri, holding May, crying while holding my hand. I scream and I cry, falling on my knees, not being able to handle all this. Yuuri! My love! I'm so sorry I doubted you! My body twitches and moves as I freak out and it's clearly worrying Yuuri, but I keep doing it anyway because I can't help myself. My heart rate is apparently going up quickly because the machines in the room beep and go off like crazy, making Yuuri panic. As soon as a doctor enters the room, I stop. Everything goes back to normal now and I look at my body. I put my hands on my chest and look at myself in the face, focusing really hard. My eyes shed a few tears and my mouth moves ever so slightly. Yuuri can see this and he looks at me and touches my face, crying on me. Normally I would hug him and tell him not to worry, but since I can't at the moment, the best I can do is hold his hand, right?   
Wrong.   
I try to move my hand to touch Yuuri, but it's like a totally foreign concept to me! I can't grab it! It's like two negative forces trying to grab each other, it just repels! I groan and cry again, feeling lost without my body to comfort my two loves. I think for a bit and I get in the bed with. . .Myself. . .and then I try to wake my empty shell of a body, but it doesn't really work. I did notice that my eyes tried to open, but I then realized something better - I finally have control of my mouth! I can breathe through my mouth (and sort of my nose) and I think I can speak! Of course I only speak in Russian, so Yuuri probably doesn't understand. . .But when I tell him not to worry in Russian, he seems to understand! He nods and sighs, kissing my cheek. He then replies with 'I love you, and I'm sorry' but I just sigh softly. Then I lose the ability to move anymore. I get angry and I shake myself, trying to wake my body and brain up. Yuuri is still crying with Miri, he leaves her on my chest so she can sleep with me while she still can. I know I can't be making it out of this. I remember hitting my head really hard, and things are a bit hard to remember as of now, but I know I got hit in the stomach and ribs with glass and maybe the door of the car bent and jabbed me, but I can't remember! It's killing me! I need to remember! That word seems so strange to me now, like it's all fading from my memory. Did I hit my head hard? I don't know! Argh! This is terrible!

~

It's been three days, and Yuuri hasn't left my side, he should be at home relaxing but he's here with the baby, stressing! I have had just about enough of this! I stand up and walk over to my almost lifeless body, I lay in the exact position as my body and soon enough, I wake up to see bright lights shining on my face, I groan and I guess I scare Yuuri because he gasps and looks at me, his hand on my chest. I look at him and I feel even worse than before, realizing I have the worlds worst headache, and my body feels no better then that. I go to tell Yuuri that I'm fine, but it comes out like gibberish. Yuuri starts crying again and he tells me to relax, stay calm. Everything was okay, he just needed to get the doctor. I look at him confused about what he said. I was quickly waking up and I could feel it, but I didn't understand because I wasn't me again yet, was I? Apparently so! Yuuri looks at me, worried and then he asks if I'm okay, if I can hear him. I nod softly, not remembering how to talk really yet. He asks if remember who he is, I sit quietly for a moment, trying to find the right words to say, but he shakes his head and sighs.  
"Forget that I said that, you're still waking up, just relax, okay? I'll be back with the doctor." Then he stands and leaves through the big door of the room. I groan and pout, wanting him to come back, but then I notice a little ball of joy sitting on my very sore chest, I smile softly and play with the little loaf of glee sitting on me, but as Yuuri comes back into the room he takes her away. I get upset because I know that's my baby, but I can't think of her name right now, and he took her away from me. The doctor comes in and shines a light in my eyes, I squint a little bit and he starts talking, but everything seems almost muffled. Yuuri looks at me concerned and I shake my head in confusion. The doctor keeps checking on me and he soon enough nods at Yuuri, they talk for a solid minute then the doctor leaves. Yuuri looks like he's in shock, and I start to hear things clearly again. I hear his voice comforting our baby and I gasp.

"Viktor? Is everything okay?"  
"I can hear you! I can hear clearly!"  
"Y-You couldn't hear? I guess you didn't hear me say anything to you while you were out then. . ."  
"I did! I know I did!"  
"Do you remember who I am then?"  
"Nope. Not a clue." I smile, then giggle a little bit. "Just kidding, I know who you are, silly."  
"Viktor!" He whacks my arm. "That isn't something to joke about! I was worried sick! You don't have a clue!"  
"I do, actually. . .I heard everything. But I'm back now, so there's nothing to worry about! Right?"  
"Well. . .Yuri called, he said he and Beka saw what was up on the news. . .And the press has been outside since the accident. . ."  
"Not a big deal. When are we leaving?"  
"You aren't going anywhere until you are one-hundred percent fine."  
"Yuuri, there's nothing wrong with me!"  
"The doctor's decide that, not me."  
I sigh feeling sad again. I point at the little baby in Yuuri's arms, and I ask to hold her. He tilts his head slightly and nods slowly.   
"Do you know what her name is?"  
"Hm. . .Martha. . . ? Maya. . . ? May! Her name is. . .May?"  
"Yes, and see Viktor. . ." he hands her to me "You can't even remember your baby's name. . .You should stay here for a while longer. Your head is still messed up, it's got cuts and bruises and you still have scars on your body that need to heal a bit before you can even move."  
"Yuuri, I promise I am really, really fine! I know it! Just please. . .Have faith that we're gonna be leaving soon. . .I don't like this room. . ."  
"I know, Viktor. . ."  
I blush and snuggle my little love bug and the love of my life. Yuuri seems scared of losing me, even if I am awake now, and he's stressed about bringing us home obviously because of what happened last time.

~

Finally, after being here all day, the doctors have told me I can leave. . .In four days.   
They tell me and Yuuri about how they want to see how I can do with healing, what will happen to my brain in the next few days, and if I can physically walk and move still. We started working on getting me to move today, but it was hard because my leg was apparently really hurt in the wreck. I couldn't wait any longer, so I started to walk around the room, even on one bad leg. It's not like I broke it or anything, it was just badly cut by the glass and nearly crushed by the indent on the car. Luckily for me, my leg was fine, or else my skating career might have been ended, even if I am already thirty.   
I look at Yuuri and tell him that I need to leave the room, or else I might die from stress. He tells me no, I don't need to leave the room and the 'stress' I'm dying from is just me getting anxious.   
"It's the same thing I felt the other day when May came. You just want a change of environment. But you're gonna have to deal with it a little. Okay?"  
"But Yuuri!" I say, wanting this feeling of anxiousness to just end already.   
"No. Now sit, you're gonna hurt yourself. Seriously, I'm worried enough, don't you think?"  
"Yes, but. . .I haven't ever experienced this feeling and I don't like it!"  
"Then sit, you won't feel as bad."  
"I can't sit! I need to move, it's stressing me out!"  
"Viktor, please. . .Just listen to me. You're stressing me out, which is stressing May out. That's not good, she's four days old, Seriously."   
I sigh and listen to him, but I'm still stressed out too much, I take his hand and look him in the eyes.   
"How do you deal with this on a daily basis?" I ask in a low tone.  
He shakes his head and shrugs, then kisses at May's head, making her giggle a little. He looks at me, smiling wide. That was cute, and now I can't handle not smiling.

May looks all smiley, Yuuri does too. All the happiness is rubbing off on me, so I'm happy now as well, my mind is taken off the feeling of being stuck in this room. I take our happy Katsudon Princess from my husband and I kiss her cheeks and blow on her belly and make her giggle, but she gets tired quickly and soon falls asleep. I smile to myself, then I look ar Yuuri, who is yawning.   
"You should sleep, Yuuri. You've been up for so long. . ."  
"No, no. . .I'm fine, I promise. . ."  
"Come on, babe. I know you're tired! Please?" The little bean in my arms wiggles to get comfortable. I smile again, looking at her, moving the blanket out of her face, then my attention refocuses on my sleepy husband.   
"Yuuri. . .Do it for her! Come on. . .She loves you, and she needs you to get sleep!"   
"I know, I know. . .Just. . ."  
"No, no excuses. Just. . . Sleep."  
He sighs and smiles, then frowns.  
"I miss sharing a bed with you. . .It's been a while since we've slept in the same bed. . .First we fought in Hasetsu, then we spent three nights with May in the hospital, now three more nights with you. . .It's been at least a week. . ."  
"I know. . .It's my fault, isn't it?"  
"No. . .It was mine, for leaving unexpectedly. You just wanted what was best for us all."

Yuuri smiles at me and sighs, rubbing my face gently. I take his hand and kiss it softly, staring into his eyes. "Yuuri, I promise we're gonna make it out of this alright. Then when we get home, we can snuggle up and watch movies all night. Just us. And I mean it."  
"And Miri-May. . ."  
"Yes, and Miri-May. . ." I smile and giggle, taking my lover's hand. He blushes and smiles, taking my hand and pressing it to his cheek.

About ten to fifteen minutes later, Yuuri is asleep, and I'm holding the sleeping bean we call Miracle May, but here I sit, wide awake. Oh boy. I get to sit here wide awake for the next few hours, wondering when I can leave, but they get some stress-free time. That's good news for them, not me. I wait patiently for someone to come into the room and tell me I can leave, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I decide to get up and look out the window with May in my arms still. She doesn't seem to mind, so I just kiss her head and bounce her lightly in my arms to keep her quiet. I don't need Yuuri yelling at me for getting out of bed yet again. I look out at the sky, dark and sparkling with stars. Wonderful. It makes me think of Yuuri's eyes in some weird way. Probably because they sparkle and shine so much for me! I can't wait to spend time with him and our baby at home!

That is if we ever get home. 

This should be soon, just three more days to go, right?


	21. This is where we stay

At first when we were driving home, I was nervous because of what happened last time with May, but this time, Viktor gets to hold her, and I get to drive. When I get nervous, it's hard to drive, but right now I'm so focused on the road that it's almost impossible to mess anything up, Viktor and May are safe. No more car accidents, not on my watch anyway. I can't wait to get home and just keep my baby and my love safely inside for the next six months. I don't want everyone in the world to be all over me and Viktor for having a baby, but he's convinced that no one would bug us after everything that's happened, and I can't handle thinking about what could possibly happen if I wasn't careful enough with my family. So we are staying out of the eye of the media and things alike. I wasn't about to let anything happen to my sun-bean, or my husband who is currently still trying to heal from the accident about a week ago.

~

When we walk in the door, Makka and Scruffy are already jumping on each other and both me and Viktor, who is holding our baby girl. I push them down and tell them both to sit, then take May who is sleeping by now. I kiss her little head and smile softly, patting her back softly. As soon as I sit on the couch, I see the dogs getting curious, and Viktor sits next to me, then tells them to sit again. He smiles at me and rubs her head softly, giving her the lovey-dovey eyes again. I smile and giggle at him and I hand her over to him. I smirk once I notice Viktor fell asleep, because now I can get my revenge from the other day when he took pictures of me and Miri in the hospital and posted them. I took a few pictures of my flawless husband and gorgeous daughter. I post them online and within seconds Pichit has already seen them. A bit after I get a call from him, probably to congratulate me and Viktor, now that he knows we're at home. I answer the phone and smile softly, staying quiet for the sleeping Viktor and Miri-May to my right.

"Hi, Pichit. It's great to hear your voice again."  
"Yuuri! Oh my gosh! I saw those pictures on yours and Viktor's Instagram's! I think she's perfect! I love her name and everything! Oh my gosh! I can't believe you guys finally have a baby! Good job Yuuri, I couldn't be more proud to be your best friend!"  
I take in his words all at once and I giggle softly.   
"Me too Pichit, Me too. I'm glad to see you're really excited about all this."  
"Of course I am! Hey, you sound really tired or upset, are you okay?"  
"I'm extremely tired right now, I just got home about ten minutes ago from the hospital, with Viktor."  
"Oh, yeah! I heard about that, is everyone okay? Miracle is okay?"  
"Of course she is, she's sleeping with Viktor. Hey, Pichit. . . ?"  
"Yes, Yuuri?"  
"Do you want to be her godfather? You know, when she gets at that point. . ."  
Silence takes over the other end of the line. I've probably officially killed my best friend. Great job, Yuuri.   
"P-Pichit? Are you--"  
"Of course! I would love to be her godfather! Oh Gosh! Yuuri, I'm so so so happy right now!"  
"Well. . .There was no doubt you'd be her godfather, you're my best friend, Pichit!"  
"Oh, Yuuri! I can't wait to see you next time I come to Moscow, or you to Thailand! I'm gonna give you the biggest hug ever!"  
I laugh a little bit then peek over at Viktor, who is probably dreaming, based off the look on his face. Smiling for days, his hair over his eye. He's smiling not only at his dreams, but maybe the sound of my voice, because when I talk a little bit, he smiles more, and as I stop, he smiles just a touch less.

I sit next to my husband and lay my head on his lap and I take his hand into mine. Pichit is still talking about how he is so excited about seeing me soon, but I don't really know how soon 'soon' is. I tell him that I'm excited as well and I couldn't wait to see him, and that I couldn't wait to get sleep because I haven't slept in the last three or four days.   
May and Viktor are too alike with keeping me awake. Viktor likes to make sure I'm okay, but then goes and makes me panic and stay awake all night. I hate when he does it too because he acts like nothing happened and then goes right to bed, meanwhile I'm sitting in bed and shaking, trying to sleep, except I can't really do that at that point.   
I try to stay awake to talk to Pichit more, but I sort of end up falling asleep and then a moment later I wake to him calling my name. I answer the phone again, and he sighs.  
"Yuuri, you really do need sleep. You should go and get it! We'll talk soon, right?"  
"Of course, Pichit. I promise. . ." I say tiredly.   
"You just keep Miracle and Viktor safe, got it?"  
"Of course I will, Pichit. They're family, like you. . .You guys mean everything to me."  
"Aw! Yuuri!"

Soon after, I let Pichit go back to his own business. I however, took my whining daughter from Viktor's arms and snuggled her, keeping her warm. I know she's cold right now, because she does this thing when she's cold. It's almost like she's humming and crying at the same time. It makes a strange type of shivering sound that let's me know she's not warm enough. I've learned a few things about her, too. Like so far, she likes to sleep with me more then Viktor, and she cries the loudest when she's feeling lonely, and wants our love. She squeaks and squeals when she's sleepy or happy. Me and Viktor have heard her laugh already, and we both just let our hearts melt.

Imagining what life will be like with her is amazing because it makes me and Viktor proud to be her parents, no matter what she does. She can be gay, I mean look at her parents, she can be an amazing Ice Skater (like her parents), she can just be whatever she wants to be because me and my love will adore her no matter the circumstances! She's already showing signs of being an intelligent, beautiful girl. Viktor knows he's gonna be chasing away boys from her one day, and it makes me laugh at the thought. My husband. Being all protective of someome other than me!? Amazing!   
I look at him and smile, pushing my hair back. My beautiful husband. . .

~

I wake up in the middle of the night to my lovely little Miracle crying out for me or her Daddy. I of course get up first, heading to her nursery to get her to calm down. I end up changing her and getting her a bottle of formula. I also give her a pacifier to get her to stay quiet for just a bit longer. I find myself wide awake, rocking my baby back to sleep at two in the morning, staring at her green walls with little decorations on them with things like Dogs (poodles to be exact), and cats, and all sorts of other animals. Viktor said they would interest her when she could comprehend them, so it could possibly be used as something to get her to sleep sooner. I liked the idea, and had him put it up. I look down at the carpet below, finally being able to see my feet again. I smile and sigh, whispering to myself.   
"You are quite a lot to handle. But, you're definitely worth it. . ."  
She whines in response. I plant a gentle kiss on her head and smile at her, making her coo and smile. Her pacifier fell out of her mouth and she ended up whining until I put it back in moments later. I still felt a little nauseous here and there, but honestly I just felt glad that there wasn't gonna be more kids in this house. Viktor and I have sworn off having more since the first week we had her. May is a baby, and she's lots of work right now, even though she's going to be independent one day, but we're more worried about how raising one child while hanging onto a skating career will work out. Having more than one would just ruin everything for me and Viktor. I couldn't handle ruining his career, since the year we first met I've been terrified to do so.

Hearing Viktor getting up, I peek out into the hall, glancing down to our room, I can't exactly see the bed, but I do see my sleepy husband getting up. I decide since May is comfortable in my arms, I should sit down and stay with her for a while.   
I sit in the rocking chair and hum softly to her until my almost ghostly looking husband appears in the doorway.   
"Viktor, why so pale?"  
"Huh? Oh. . .Tired. . ."  
"So you're pale because you're tired?"  
"N-No. . .Just. . .I just woke up. . ."  
"Bad dreams?"  
"Yeah. . .I had a dream about the car crash. . ."  
"Again? That's like the second time this week. . ."  
"I'll be fine. Promise." He says with a soft smile. He strokes my cheek and makes me smile. I take his hand gently and kiss it, giggling ever so softly, just so I don't wake the sleepy Miracle in my arms.

"You know Yuuri. . .You really do look adorable holding our baby. . ."  
"Well, she's like a mini you, so it's just like that. . ."  
"Well, I wish we could let the dogs play with her, but. . .She's too small. I want her to have her own Makka or Scruffy, but. . .She can wait." He states with a soft smile.  
I smile at the thought, but I shake my head and sigh.   
"No more pups, Viktor. We've got two of them and a baby."  
"I know. . ."  
"We can wait, at least. . ."  
"I mean sure, but having three isn't so bad is it?"  
"It could be. We need things already for two dogs and a baby." I say tiredly.

I look at Viktor then at Miri and I just smile a little. I hand her over to Viktor and push his hair back, kissing his head.  
"You two look too good together. Especially in the light of the nightlight." I say as I take a picture for my phone's background, and another for Instagram. He couldn't be more perfect and neither can she. I smile softly and kiss his head. He snuggles with me and her, then sighs softly.   
"Yuuri?"  
"Yes, Viktor. . ."  
"Well. . .I gotta ask some things."  
"Ask away love"  
"Should we really go to next years competition? And do we need to have her stay home? I don't want to leave her. . ."  
"No, I suppose not."  
He smiles and sighs softly. Then his expression changes as if he'd just remembered something.

"Yuuri?"  
"Yes?"  
"One last thing. . .

I love you!"


End file.
